RAPPERS ON ‘ROIDS…

fisty

Just when I thought that ROGER CLEMENS was going to get a taste of nigger-dom, up jumps the boogey(man) to steal away the attention. Rap music’s worst kept secret, that artists are using steroids, has been thrown on the front page of entertainment websites. Everyone already assumed that Busta Rhymes was juicing because he could no longer seem to control his emotions publicly. He was beating up fans for asking for autographs and he even put the smack down on one of his staffers. Too bad that steroids doesn’t make you want to tell the truth. The murder of Busta’s weedcarrier still remains unsolved.

This shit makes me think that we are living in an era where ALL our perceptions are slightly skewed because steroids may have been used.

  • The Sub-Prime Lending Fiasco
    Housing stocks were improperly inflated due to steroids and this caused lenders to distribute more funds than the consumer market could handle.
  • The Iraq War
    Saddam Hussein was giving steroids to his short range missiles and this made them appear to be larger and more potent than they actually were.
  • Hurricane Katrina
    That summer storm was hopped up on HGH when it ripped through the Gulf of Mexico.
  • Okay, I can’t prove for sure if any of those things were the case, but by looking at the photographs of BARRY BONDS enlarged head[ll] other people have established probable cause so I’m just putting that out there.

    What this means for rap music is that all the dramatic sales figures established by FISTY SCENT are prah’lee inflated due to steroids. Someone needs to go to Wikipedia and place an asterisk on the Fifty Cent entry. Marc Ecko, do your thing.

    And by comparison we need to put in the proper perspective the number of records sold and awards won by Timbaland-produced projects. I’m now re-considering my Rock and Roll Hall of Fame vote for Timbaland as best producer since his numbers are no longer real. Maybe I’ll give the JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE album an asterisk as well.

    I’m not surprised that TYLER PERRY used steroids to add to the fan base of his films. How else do you bring the chitlin’ circuit to the silver screen? But MARY…

    MARY J. BLIGE is the queen of the ghetto. Don’t nobody ever better come here and say something sideways about MARY J. We don’t even know if she received her shipment. It was addressed to Marlo Stansfield. For all I know them niggas on ‘The Wire’ are using the HGH and that is why their show is so popular.

    Don’t nobody better say nothing bad about MARY J.

    selig fehr

    The following links have been tested and approved by ALLAN SELIG and DONALD M. FEHR


    The Assimilated Negro: Baseball Has Steroids, Hip Hop Has Weed

    Status Ain’t ‘Hood: Why Would Musicians Use Steroids?

    illdoctrine.com: Why Rappers Need Steroids

    12 Responses to “RAPPERS ON ‘ROIDS…”

    1. Enigmatik says:

      Mary J. been pumpin’ them ‘roids for years, my neyuka. Ain’t nuttin’ changed pa…act like ya know.

      What’s the 411 on dat ‘clear’?

    2. why is the US Congress fockin with this issue? They should appoint some of their WC special commission to handle this.

      Fock Harry Reid & Nancy Pelosi. I guess resotring habeus corpus, finding alternative energy, ending the Iraq occupation, reducing job offshoring, mitigating an impending economic recession, universal healthcare, reducing the trade deficit, reducing the US Fed debt, etc are all less important than FOCKING BASEBALL. FOCK OUTTA HERE!

      BTW, Japan has proved themselves to be the Federer of baseball nations by winning the 2006 World Baseball Classic. Aren’t Japanese dudes the least brolic on Earth? This proves steroids have no relation to overall baseball skill.

      Maybe the Japanese cats should be “sore winners” by focking the US steroid heads’ wifes. The wifes of dudes like Barry Bonds or Roger Clemens would prolly be up for it, since their husbands’ nuts have shrunken from the roids. [||] at talking about these douches’ nuts

    3. twerkolator says:

      i remember in that LA Times article Dr. Dre said something to the effect of “i’m so built i wanna kick through a fucking wall” or some shit like that…

      now if that ain’t them roids talking i don’t know what it is…

    4. Belize says:

      Mary Jane on Steroids > Mary J Blige on Steroids

      Real talk…it explains her wigs…I heard that steroid shyt makes u bald..

    5. Belize says:

      Yo…Gringo

      Was good with ur boy Fed?

      HA!

    6. Margo says:

      HGH (Human Growth Hormone) is the most common hormone in the pituitary gland, which is at the center of the human brain.

    7. @Belize,

      Federer is cruising so far in the Aussie Open. If Fed wins, it will be 13 Grand Slam (GS) singles titles, closing in on the Great Pete Sampras’ 14 titles. It’s the 3rd Rd (Rd of 32) right now.

      The top US guy Roddick went down [||] Down Under [||] in 5 sets to Kohlscreiber.

      James Blake, 1 of the Dallas’ GOAT Light Skinted Brothas TM, is playing great, hopefully he can do some damage.

      Dont sleep on Vinny “I Ain’t Afraid of Ya” “33 is the new 16” Spadea either http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc4eNZPbOsc.
      Spadea won 2 epic 5-setters.

      Perhaps the real question, who’s a “better rapper” between Spadea & Lil Wang? My vote is for Spadea!
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoXAAEYwnNY

      The US womens’ hope are all Serena & Venus Williams, they both are playing well. They’re playing women’s doubles also, just beat the #2 seed team, so 1 of them might could take home 2 GS titles this month!

    8. the_dallas says:

      Gringo,
      How come you didnt do a drop on the Aussie commentators remarks about serena’s butt?

    9. ^Dallas, I didn’t hear about that. Link?

      Personally, I would like to spend some quality time with Serena & her butt.

    10. Dallas/Gringo,

      Not tryin to be a know it all but it was Venus’ butt. Had it been Serena’s…that would have been completely understandable.

      Link: http://encyclopediablack.blogspot.com/2008/01/just-because.html

    11. the_dallas says:

      Black,
      Thx for keeping me linked. Since it was Venus then I would say that derogatory comments are par for the course. Google Hottentot Venus or use the search bar here at DP Dot Com.

    12. Sangano says:

      This guys eyebrows have a life of their own…word up

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