What’s In Your Package?

tohato

The Federal government is bandying about the idea of issuing another “stimulus package” for Americans to spend in order to help the U.S. economy float like a turd in a terlet. Take it from me, fixing the economy is not about putting $600 dollars in my bank account.

With all of the out-of-network fees, the below minimum balance monthly maintenance fees, and the overdraft fees that I accrue it’s like I’m giving the money right back to the screwballs who effed the system the eff up in the first place.

I don’t mind the free money, but I also know that no one is giving away free money. Someone’s gonna have to pay for that shit at some point. With interest too no doubt. So what does the government do to stop the jobless rate upswing? Keep in mind that chattel slavery is not one of the selections.

We need to start building shit again. Building shit and making shit. The far east has pwned us for the last several decades because they build and make better shit than we do. Better cars. Better toys. Better snack foods.

tohato

TOHATO Caramel Corn = OMG!

America has to return to their manufacturing and developing dominance. Sure we can kick ass on the battlefield, but when was the last time that the Wise brand excited you for the premiere of a new Dipsy Doodle?

America has to get back to having the complete game on the global court. Coca-Cola needs to create a new logo and a new factory in every state where people make gourmet organic sody pops by hand. Their dirty, unwashed hands. Where the CO2 is actual people farts.

Listen, I don’t know a gotdamn thing about fixing the economy. Maybe it shouldn’t be fixed since it’s already “fixed”. Maybe people should be sent a check for $666 bucks and they can’t cash it unless they accept a laser etched bar code on their foreheads. What would you spend your last cash money on?

$666 isn’t a whole lot of money but it is a little something to get you through a weekend.

$50 – Two(2) round trip tickets to Trenton via NJ Transit

$32 – Two(2) round trip tickets from Trenton to Philadelphia 30th Street Station

$210 – Two nights in downtown Philly hotel with the Friends & Family code

$180 – Two(2) pairs of exclusive Nike Dunks (his & hers) from UBIQ

$130 – A classy dinner with the lady at a jazzy supper club

$2 – Philadelphia Museum of Art ‘Pay What You Wish‘ Sundays

$24 – Lunch at Geno’s Steaks

$28 – Two movie tickets and popcorn for when our train gets back to Penn Station on Sunday night

The G Dubbz administration and their “Mark Of The Beast” economic program just gave Chocolate Snowflake and I a very nice weekend in Philadelphia.

Do the math and see where the Illuminati’s armageddon takes you.

18 Responses to “What’s In Your Package?”

  1. wax says:

    I spent the last stimulus check on paying down debt

  2. big rils says:

    ^ same here, like just about 90% of the country, which is why it did jack shit to stimulate the economy.

    We need to start building and manufacturing shit, but I’ll let the far east hang on to the cars and cheese doodles. We need the government to start investing in infrastructure in this country. We’ve got bridges that need fixing, public transit that needs expanding (not everyone lives in NY or DC and can get around without wheels), and dense, walkable, affordable housing that needs developing. Creates jobs and invests in the future of this country.

  3. nerditry says:

    Don’t forget to add $10,000 for that hospital stay after you do the Rocky run up the stairs.

    I’ma take mine to the poker room and use it to take everyone else’s. Then quest for a $1,000 chunk of the green leaf.

  4. P-Matik says:

    That last stimulus check (nullus) went into savings and the next one is gonna be snuggling right up with it.

  5. Children of Sanchez says:

    Mother’s cookies is out of business, America is stunned…no more pink and white animal cookies

  6. 40 says:

    GENO’S SUCKS!!!

  7. being that I live in a semi-official Koreatown…let me just tell you, those Far Easterners really DO have those snack foods on point.

    *opens up pack of chocolate Pocky*
    *eats mango gummy candy*
    *makes mental note to stop at Kam Sam on the way home and pick up some nori maki*

  8. jim dolo says:

    nullus to the term “stimulus package”

  9. don’t forget, you have the option to get that bar code on your hand as well.

  10. Combat Jack says:

    I was pissed. I had a windfall last year based on my lawsuit against Emptee Vee and wasn’t eligible for one. Was hot b/c I was prepared to cop an i-phone. Bastards.

  11. DirtyJerz says:

    Word is Bawn!Pocky sticks are my new favorite joints….along with the great tea pumpkin seeds, B!

    I don’t know much about fixing the economy either, but giving us those bogus smoke-N-mirror checks couldn’t possibly be the answer…

    The cesspool they’re leaving the next presidente’ is so ill!

  12. jdotnicholas says:

    @40 Tell your man. Get at that Tony Lukes steak, Oregon Ave, son. Around the corner from the infamous ECW Arena.

  13. nerditry says:

    @Jerz : Check into some Wasabi Peas. And the folks making money on this economy way in the background are still getting theirs and never really stopped.

    That’s just another $600 you loaned the government coming back before our generation gets screwed on Social Security.

  14. Candice says:

    You could catch the bolt bus for $23 roundtrip to Philly and save even more. (Free WiFi too so you can make us a video).

    http://www.boltbus.com

    And Geno’s does indeed suck.

  15. Candice says:

    Tony Luke’s
    Ishkabbibble’s on South Street

    or the hidden gem

    Mama’s on Belmont Ave in Bala Cynwyd where they bake thir own rolls. YES!

  16. nerditry – eff the wasabi peas, I like those shrimp chip things. It’s like the shrimp version of a pork rind, kinda sorta. Know what I’m talking about?

    And dammit, can one of the Filipinos tell me where I can buy some Polvorons on the east coast?!?!?!

  17. nerditry says:

    @Ambass : I fucks with shrimp chips all day, but let me hip you to the real game…you can make them at home anytime. They come in a box and look like clear poker chips, but in all colors on the wheel. Drop those joints into hot errrrl and just a couple seconds till done.

    Impress some motherfuckers next time you have folks over.

    Want to get your Japanese snack game on hardcore?

    http://theanimeblog.com/japanese-snack-reviews/japanese-snack-review-tamagogani-meisauki/

    Ka-plow! Your breath will stank, but your ninja will be invincible.

  18. HAHAHA.
    I’d try them 1) if I wasn’t allergic to sesame seeds (I fail as a [half]Arab and K-town dweller for that one), and 2) if the review you posted of them wasn’t so discouraging.

    I always wondered how people made those shrimp chips fresh at home…thanks for schoolin me!

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