Archive for the ‘Harpers Weekly Review’ Category

Have A Baby By Me?

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

baby by me

Fisty Scent – Baby By Me’ featuring Ne-Yo

This is one of my favorite songs right now. The beat is perfect for the nightclubs and whenever the song comes on the women rush to the dancefloor. Ne-Yo on the chorus is of course the murderous element. Despite the fact that this song is a surefire hit I had to dig a little deeper than most would to see how real Fisty Scent kept it on a lyrical level.

Rap is in its core essence lyrical braggadocio. The artist establishes their dominance by exclaiming feats that are unique to only them. In this song Fisty Scent not only decrees his sexual prowess but the idea that if he is allowed to impregnate the listener they will become a millionaire. From the outset I’m sure those rhymes are super attractive to the female fans of Fisty Scent, especially in this shrinking U.S. economy, but what are the real-life ramifications of winning this lyrical lottery?

Hands down, Fisty Scent is one of the shrewdest artists in the music business. He has created an empire for himself while still wearing his du-rag into business meetings. Even Ghey-Z had to ‘change clothes’ to increase his wealth. Fisty Scent has leveraged his thug persona to cross over to marketing that has no connection to street life. Vitamin Water? That was a coup that no other rapper or Hip-Hop impresario had considered. Everyone else was chasing liquor branding oppurtunites and silly clothing line endeavors.

So don’t think that Fisty Scent is going to issue this million dollars in lump sum format. I can imagine that Fisty will issue the money in 18 annual payments of $55,556, or to better amortize his investment $4,629.63 in monthly installments until the million is finally excised. That doesn’t exactly amount to anything fabulous for the mother of the Fisty Scent seed now does it? Especially after the taxes for these monies have been calculated and paid. That isn’t even considering all the costs associated with child rearing.

baby by me

Healthcare costs for both mother and child have been skyrocketing when compared to the Consumer Price Index measure. Healthcare will be the single greatest expenditure (aside from education) when you consider bringing up a thug’s baby. Surgery from bullet and stab wounds can be very costly. Also note that the contract becomes voided if the child dies prior to their 18th birthday (R.I.P. Derrion Albert).

After education and healthcare requirements we still have to consider childcare because the mother of this kid is still going to need to put in hours at the stripclub in order to supplement her income if she wants to clothe and feed the seed.

baby by me

So by having a baby with Fisty Scent what you are really agreeing to is a legal and moral debt obligation. Fisty Scent’s arrangement barely covers half the costs associated with raising his child. At this rate you might could do better for yourself having a child with me.

At least my union benefits cover dental costs.

baby by me

The Face Of Eeeeeee-Vil…

Monday, November 18th, 2013


I feel like George Zimmerman must be related to Cobra Commander because he stays getting freed from jail. Dude has a string of bad behavior that would have landed a Black dude under a jail. Way before he murdered Trayvon. Even after he beat up his wife. The tide seems to be turning on Zimmerman tho’ since he just pointed the burner at a snowflake.

I mean, damnb, how much White Privilege can a Mexican have?

The Central Park Five…

Saturday, November 24th, 2012

The watershed moment which made me realize I HAD to become a writer was the trial of the Central Park Five. These boys were railroaded by a system which fed on the myth of the dangerous Black boogeyman. Sadly they were trapped by the perfect storm of corrupt policemen, inept prosecutors and complicit press agents.

Award winning filmmaker Ken Burns tells the story of the Central Park Five from their perspectives as they encounter the hell of the American criminal justice system for a crime they didn’t commit yet would still serve the full sentences for irreversibly changing their lives forever.

The Central Park Five was me and my brothers, or some other group of young Black teenagers who had to take the weight of the whole New York City piled on top of their shoulders. They are still standing. The Central Park Five are my heroes.

If I Ruled The World…

Monday, October 1st, 2012

First thing I’d do is become the CEO of a prison corporation. Prison corporations are contractors of the federal government. That is good money right there. The federal government bailed out Wall Street and the U.S. automakers to the tune of many billions of dollars. If the Fed can’t pay for it then it can’t be bought.

With the profits from my prisons due to the high levels of incarceration for shit like traffic tickets and throwing cigarette butts on the sidewalk I’d start an entertainment company with music, video and print outlets. My artists would be former and future inmates who would help me maintain and increase my prison occupancy levels.

Of course I’d give each entity a separate and distinct name, so this way you folks wouldn’t realize they were all guided by the same board of directors. Do you know how much money I’d make just from Black and brown people in America alone? Oh yeah, I’d scoop up some white folks too.

If I ruled the world…

A Tale Of Two Cities…

Monday, September 10th, 2012

The Barclay’s Center isn’t the only divide between the King’s County haves and the boro’s have-nots.

When Brooklyn isn’t a gentrification paradise, it’s a a nativist hellhole.

Even the Daily News is peeping game