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I’m Obsessed…

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The latest cinematic vehicle strarring BeYONCE KNOWLES-CARTER smells like a pile of sexy shit sitting on the sidewalk. True story is that even BeYONCE’s ham-fisted performance wasn’t as bad as IDRIS ELBA’s look. IDRIS and BeYONCE are throwback actors because they perform like we are still making silent movies. Maybe its because the both of them would be better off in music videos where the dialogue isn’t spoken by them, but rather sung through auto-tune.

Still and all I sat through the two hours of this half-baked thriller that didn’t have any idea what it wanted to be when it grew up. We knew at some point that the sassy blonde played by ‘Heroes’ heroine ALI LARTER would have to lock horns with the sassier auburn wigged BeYONCE. At least they didn’t disappoint us in that regard. As an aside, don’t look now fellas, but ALI LARTER is being typecast as the white chick who likes Black sticks. You might could win is all I’m saying.

‘Obsessed’ would have been a better film with better writing and better actors. See some shit like ‘Inside Man’ for the sexy interracial tension that DENZEL WASHINGTON and JODIE FOSTER create. JODIE FOSTER’s old ass >>> ALI LARTER too for that matter. How crazy is it that I delivered the best line of the whole movie after BeYONCE finally defeats the psycho home wrecker by literally wrecking her new house? As the ALI LARTER character lay dead and the camera flashed to a worn and bruised BeYONCE I decided to yell out in the theatre, “she’s a survivor!”

Poor scripting and even worse acting now makes for a box office success.

The lowest common denominator rules the world.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 29th, 2009 at 12:34 pm and is filed under BeYONCE Factor, BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, Hollyweird, Lust = Love, Wig Owners. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

9 Responses to “I’m Obsessed…”

  1. Bob Says:
    April 29th, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    LMAO @ she’s a survivor.

    please tell me you didn’t pay to see this movie.

  2. slumdog millionairess Says:
    April 29th, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    that was you in the theater????

  3. 40 Says:
    April 29th, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    I’m taking Ali Larter over Jayonce.

    Hate me now.

  4. 1969 Says:
    April 29th, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    Not even fine azz Idris Elba could get me to cough up the duckets for this one.

    However, girl geek that I am, I am already holding my pre-ordered Wolverine tickets. LOL

    Wolverine>Beyowulf

  5. chief racka Says:
    April 29th, 2009 at 2:51 pm

    I peeped that Ali Larter typecasting as soon as I saw it was her playing homeroom homewrecker.
    I hope there was a bootlegger in the theatre when you delivered your punchline. classic material.

  6. E* Says:
    April 29th, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    The movie was alright not worth the hype but not worth the disgust. I didn’t expect much and even less when I notice Mathew Knowles was the executive producer. Bad movie good business move.

  7. Amadeo Says:
    April 29th, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    They needed a fight scene with “I’ll take your man” playing in the background.

  8. 911 Says:
    April 30th, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    “IDRIS and BeYONCE are throwback actors because they perform like we are still making silent movies.”

    *I’m going to say this shit to wifey and take all the credit.*

  9. Doc Says:
    May 3rd, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    idris is a good actor. idk what you’re talkin about. i didn’t see the movie though.

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