Coke + Rap = cRap Music…


Pushers >>> hustlers

I swiped the above pic from the homey Combat Jack’s weblog. It was convenient and therefore I didn’t have to waste any more time going through Google images for another pic of the Clipse.

Rap music is so shitty right now that people will use anything as a promotional push. Say “nappy headed hos” on Twitter after a concert at Rutgers University? Promo. Manager receives federal indictment for narcotics trafficking?!? Promo.

But who is receiving the information about these incidences and thinking more about these artists? Not I. Is it you Pierzy? Shouts to Pierzy just because [ll]. I mean, who here thinks that the Clipse manager’s drugpushing charges will translate into rap fans going into Best Buy and copping their next CD? Especially if that shit has those tinkly Neptune tracks all over the disk.

People don’t buy Clipse albums, they download them. It’s a fucking rite of passage. You can’t call yourself a rap fan if you don’t have some illegally downloaded Clipse music on your hard drive. I don’t blame you either. If the Clipse want to espouse the outlaw lifestyle then they should expect to attract outlaw type fans. Not the type of folks that will cook cocaine, although I’m sure there are some real cocaine cookers that LOVVVVVVVVE the Clipse, but the type of folks that say, “why should I buy their album since these dudes are already rich?”

That is the single-edged sword of being the best trap rappers on records. The Clipse claim to be too deep in the drug game to even need to rap meanwhile they are going on tour while riding the Peter Pan bus. Not their own tour bus, the Port Authority Peter Pan bus. The Fung Hwah joint that has seats for twenty bucks and a bathroom that smells as if a homeless person died inside of it. I mean, think about this shit seriously, if you were caking off cocaine why the hell would you start rapping? To take a pay cut?

You think that rappers make more money than pushers? In the long run I suppose it’s all even. The lawyers end up with the grip and the IRS puts the hammer down as the final insult to injury. If you were getting money moving heavy weight you would be mad as hell at the way the rap game works. The artists pick up the tab for everything. Your royalties get taxed for the promotional expenses and everything gets itemized to your ticket. That bottle of water you drank in the label offices comes out of your budget.

I still don’t believe that the Clipse manager was the dude going in so hard with the work. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if their touring and clothing ventures were underwritten by someone with illegal paper. Let’s face it, anyone with legit money that knows what the fuck is the deal isn’t going to be investing their shit in the zero sum gain that the Clipse present. Breaking even is worse than breaking bad in today’s economy.

All of that to say that I wish no malice towards the Clipse other than, well, you know, Malice. I hope the Clipse new album is a banger from top to bottom. Plus, I just copped a new 1TB hard drive so I will plenty of room for the DL.

9 Responses to “Coke + Rap = cRap Music…”

  1. P-Matik says:

    The whole thing is hilarious. Actually, Hampton Roads, VA is what’s hilarious. There are tons of colleges and universities there and heads are still stupid enough to sell drugs, start shitty clothing lines, and/or start rapping when they know they have no talent. All this while yelling they had no chance or opportunity to succeed other (legit) ways.

    I know negroes down there that don’t talk about anything else except drugs and other crimes. It’s a damn shame. Fools start legit businesses that could be lucrative just so they can get their Stringer Bell on. Then they get locked up still yelling that someone is holding them down.

    Whatever…either way the Clipse is jive nice on the mic.

  2. “Especially if that shit has those tinkly Neptune tracks all over the disk.”

    word…them mufuckas need to chill with them pinball machine beats.

  3. Smear says:

    Clipse are one of the few remaining artists/groups whose albums I actually feel obligated and even willing purchase…. The sheer dopeness of the free mixtapes they put out on which the Brothers Thornton invariably destroy other’s instrumentals makes it so. Clipse mixtapes>>>> Ross Albums
    Go listen to HHNF & Lord Willin’ again dP, some of those tinkly ‘Tune beats were monstrous and serve them well…see Keys Open Doors, Wamp Wamp, Comedy Central, Grindin…etc

  4. VEe says:

    Has any rap act solo, duo, or group ever audited their record label? Did they know legally it is within their rights? Are these cats aware of the history of the music business’ accounting practices?

    Clipse are dope because they really get into their lyrics and consistently layer metaphors on a ridiculous level. I’m just surprised with all the shady record biz they’ve been involved in, they’re not trying to push their CD independently. I guess a big machine doesn’t hurt, even if it is running on a faulty engine.

    @Smear, you ain’t lying.
    Keys Open Doors is one of my favorites. Not to mention the free material they released. Artistically I don’t think Rawse is any where near the Thorton Brothers.
    Although I don’t know about the clothing line.

  5. CeeZDieM says:


    I like their albums and all, but Ive always hated that “I don’t need to rap” attitude of theirs. I know rap is all about a bad-ass attitude, but their shit bordered on a damn near disdain for the art form, no?
    “Im not YOU, rapper”
    Motherfucker, then don’t rap! Go sell the drugs that you say youre better at sellin anyway. Theres tons of people out there who DO wanna rap and love every bit of it, from the 1,2 1,2 to the zigga zigga. And clearly, as clever as the Clipse lyrics are, they DO respect the art form. But they just front like they dont.

    And i know its dumb to hate the presenter over the presentation. Its like hating on Marilyn Manson or Ric Flair. Its just a pretend villain goading the crowd and cupping his ear.

    Just gets under my skin is all. And the reason i DL instead of cop. I bought Born for this. I bought Dil Cosby suite. Hell Hath? Not so much.

    They brag about not needing rap money? Then shit, i wont give it to them 😛

  6. 40 says:

    Don’t folks know this area is a bastion for “when talent meets tomfoolery”?

    Allen Iverson…. Michael (and Marcus) Vick… Plaxico Burress… all from the same area as the Clipse… All of them catch wreck in their respective fields.

  7. P-Matik says:

    40 Deez: exactly. Cats down in the 757 are good for that bullshit. My cousin told me he recently saw Marcus Vick chipping paint in the bilge of an aircraft carrier at the shipyard down in Bad News.

  8. Mike Jordan says:

    The thing is, this type of phuquery always happens close to album release dates. I remember when Ice Cube said some lady at Priority wanted him to get arrested for some stupid ass misdemeanor to promote his album. And this was back when Ice Cube needed no promotion.

    Obama’s supposed to be the nigga that’s changing this shit. I think if cats would actually listen to Jigga, rather than try to critique him, they’d get a clearer message. He’s saying gangsta rap is dead. That doesn’t make it final, but it does say that he has a clearer vision than most rappers today.

    I think rappers who rap about their weight in crystal meth and black tar heroin OWE IT TO US to go to jail. Aren’t we supposed to be being honest?

    Only bad thing about it; rock stars don’t usually go through this shit. Sure, they raise just as much hell, but that doesn’t mean they actually go to jail. They go to rehab.

    That’s why all around the south, especially among the youf, Gucci Mane is the new Tupac. Who’s realer? Who’s more willing to go out the way they came in [II]?

    Ok, I’m drunk.

  9. 1969 says:

    I told you I saw the Clipse on the Amtrak from NYC to DC with a boatload of Louis Vuitton bags and blinged the eff out. WHAT THE FUDGE? Rent a damn car if you’re making so much money or at least upgrade to the Acela.

    And if I hear one more bird or bell noise sampled on their tracks…I’m through. Get it together Neptunes.

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