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If there is anyone on the XXL website that could be accused of blatant regionism it certainly would be me. I showed you fools years ago that Texas was not part of the South, but actually part of the Midwest yet still you fools argued with me. Maybe I was doing that just to be a pip. I’ve kind of been that way my whole life.

I might have been wrong for that attitude in the past especially during the heyday of OutKast, 8 Ball, MJG, Juvenile, No Limit and Goodie Mob, but I’m certainly not wrong for that assessment now in the era of D4L, Get Rich Click, Soulja Boy Tell’em and the rest of the lowest common denominator rap pack that seems to use Atlanta as their main hub of operations.

The last thing I want this drop to be is some joint associated with hating on Soulja Boy. I don’t give a fuck about Soulja Boy. I don’t care if he makes enough money to bail out General Motors. Ed McMahon just died today and it turns out that he was damn near penniless after a lifetime in the entertainment industry. Don’t talk to me about money in rap music because that ain’t real.

This is why rappers like 50 Cent will always have a lane in the urban soundscape. Not too many people I fux with can afford shit right now and the more rappers describe aspirational shit that we can’t even confirm the existence of the more they will conscript themselves to the fickle whims of the pop music marketplace. Louis Vuitton baby stroller?!? Negro please (shouts to Ron Mexico).

But when rappers talk about the shit that broke motherfuckers like myself can relate too, they strengthen their urban sensibilities and their *ugh* street credibility. Why else are the Black Eyed Peas trying to get their hardbody points up? First off, Fergie pops shit with Perez Hilton to see if he will slap the shit out of her so she can get him pinched on some Chris Brown shit.

Perez Hilton is stupid cunning, while Fergie is only just a dumb cunt so now she goes to get Will.I.Am (er, his bodyguards) to mollywop Perez for talking out of pocket. The last thing the Black Eyed Peas want to do is fight with you. A You Got Served dance off? Yes. A barroom battle royale? Not so much. But in this recessive climate you had better look like you could live on the streets.

So even though 50 Cent has mansions all around America he is going back to renting a one bedroom apartment in the projects just so that he can reinforce his stature as an urban icon. It’s what ‘War Angel’ is signifying and what the audience for urban music is craving. No more of these flights of fancy where Black dudes reminisce on the new wave pop classics from the 80’s (this makes me slightly sad because I always <3 the Thompson Twins).

Speaking of War Angels, shout out to Gabriel Tolliver, who at my age joined the Army to make films for them. You have to be a member of the armed forces in order to make propaganda for them since you will see some shit that the general public has no idea of. The Army has to vett you to make sure that you aren’t Al Qui’ada or worse, Michael Moore. All the shots you see in feature films of army apparatus come from the armed services as well.

I saw previews of Transformers 2 and I wondered how many of those shots were done by Gabe. It’s a trip what we do to make a living in this game called life. From Soulja Boy Tell’em to a real soldier Gabe Tolliver its all good in the ‘hood. It ain’t never about where you are from party people, but where you are at.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009 at 3:51 pm and is filed under Billy Sunday @ XXL, Black Bullshit, Crappers, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.