Do You Dew…

mtn dew blue

I thought my homey HowFresh had a connect to the PepsiCo. people in Westchester way back when I started making my Mountain Dew web videos. I haven’t heard from HowFresh since so I hope he was able to pitch an idea or two to them in order to get his sneaker paper up.

The truth is that I would fux with Mountain Dew without some marketing money because I like that shit. I was in Atlanta telling my mom about Mtn Dew when 20/20 or some other fuckwad news program was featuring all those kids with alleged ‘Mountain Dew mouth’. I didn’t even bat an eyelash. I kept drinking my Mountain Dew blue. The trade name for the product is ‘Voltage’ but I call it blue.

Just recently I saw that Mountain Dew has released several flavors of ‘Game Fuel’. One of the flavors had a blue coloring and I bought it to see what the taste was like. It sucked. The real Mountain Dew blue is like a Smurfberry punch, while this Mtn Dew ‘Game Fuel’ is like a blue Hawaiian for its tropical flavor infusion. When some manufacturer starts fuxing with my lifestyle is when I have to get my guns, er, pens out.

Memo to PepsiCo:
Thank you for your efforts to bring back good taste by using sugar again in your carbonated beverages.

Kudos to you for creating the delicious flavor of Mountain Dew ‘Voltage’. The hints of raspberry and ginseng really bring out the blue.

Thank you for making Mountain Dewthpaste which helps me maintain good oral hygiene while I enjoy the different Mtn Dew products.

What is this blue ‘Game Fuel’ shit?!? Keep the ‘Game Fuel’ color orange just like the World of Warcraft logo.

DON’T FUX UP MY MOUNTAIN DEW BLUE!

Thank you in advance,

The DP.com Mgmt.

mtn dew blue

9 Responses to “Do You Dew…”

  1. Grand Master says:

    yo flyest thing with mtn dew (ugh just typing that makes me feel a fool) “game fuel” is that it is, like you said, tied-in to World of Warcraft (again, feelin a fool): and the Red and Blue flavors (yes Red & Blue are flavors, as Dave Chappelle joked years before) actually match up with the two sides in the game, Alliance (Blu) and Horde (Red), just like in the game. Pretty great merchandising/tie-in, all things considered.

    Even flyer is that apparently the labels or tops have codes that you can redeem in-game for a pet robot fighter. flizzy.

  2. Amadeo says:

    This may be out of left field…but do stores still sell Jolt Cola? That was good times. No lies they clearly said…this has double the shit and it will keep your ass up.

  3. nerditry says:

    @Amadeo : I think it’s still for sale and growing up, it had this almost mythical, legal-crack type status. Like you only drank one if you were TRYING to stay up all night or scoot around like night of the living dead.

    If someone could knock out a solid coffee/cola drink without the carbonation being nasty, I’d be methed out on it.

  4. Amadeo says:

    Dallas, as if I needed validation, I just heard your theory in practice.
    Dude offers to buy his homegirl on the next block a snowball. She asks for raspberry and blueberry. He says they don’t have blueberry. She asks what the blue is and he doesn’t know. Her response? “Shit, just give me a red and a blue mixed!”

  5. Lion XL says:

    I dont think they make the COLA anymore, but they do have the oil can size ‘Energy Drink’……

    But check out ThinkGeek.com…they have seriously caffeinated drinks, even one called WEASEL PUKE….

  6. a-one says:

    Taco Bell has that Baja Blast mtndw. It’s horrible. I guess we should make sure we’re reading our labels before purchasing.

    I enjoy my Mtn Dew Blue in the 2 liter form. It’s not the most economical of the purchasing options but the bottled version has a much more smooth taste than the cans. Plus I can savor it more. The 2 liter bottle is like an all day flask.

  7. the_dallas says:

    I be catching the 2-Liter Mtn Dew blue for a buck at Target and Wal-Mart. My problem is that I drink said 2 Liter in less than 3 hrs.

    I’m gonna need to start buying the next flavor called Mountain Dewabetes.

  8. Wavy Sizemore says:

    I miss the old Jolt. Back when I started high school(a year or so after 9/11), I’d cop 2 or 3 of them from the Gristedes over on 54th and 8th. They were like 10 cents cheaper than Coke and twice as good. I don’t know why they started to market themselves as an energy drink. Probably to charge 3 times as much and get away with it.

    Shit, I remember the Korean place by the Brooklyn Conservatory on 7th Av used to sell this stuff called Cricket Cola. It was sugarcane cola with green tea. That shit was GREAT.

  9. HowfreshEats says:

    DP- still working on it. A lot of Dew-reaucracy over there. Trying to get you on Air Force Dew.

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