If you are looking at the above picture and acting like that sandwich isn’t absolutely delicious, you a) have no eyes, b) are a liar, and most importantly c) are an idiot. The Big Mac is what God made on the 8th day.
I haven’t fuxed with McDonald’s in three weeks since my personal new year but I was under siege the other afternoon. I’m taking some heat for some shit going sideways at my day job. As always I blame myself and the time I spend in this world. That isn’t totally fair to me since the shit I am getting blamed for was out of my control. I was under pressure and I caved in.
You ever seek food to comfort you when you need a little reassurance that you aren’t the piece of shit your mind is telling you that you are? By my look you might think I have been consulting food more often than my therapist. You would be right. What could one Big Mac meal hurt anyway? Well one Big Mac meal and one Big Mac sandwich on the side to be 100 with y’all.
The meal was so underwhelming I was even more frustrated after finishing it. Plus some homeless lady did a lap through the McD and blew that shit up. The only thing that kept me from vomiting after inhaling her unholy bumstink was the special sauce that had smeared on my moustache. If I could focus on that smell I would be able to withstand the muscle reflex to blow chunks. What a fucked the fux up meal?!
So now I am back to square one and the count is back to three days (c)lean, down from 3 weeks. I’ve been to drug rehab so I know all the affirmations and mantras you have to invoke after falling off the wagon. I’m not as concerned any longer with falling into McD any longer and I was more sad than ashamed by the fact that the Big Mac could no longer activate my pleasure/reward center. This is how people end up addicted to heroin. That’s the only thing that can get me higher than special sauce.
Hello everyone, my name is Pete and I am a Mac-aholic. It’s been 2 months of sobriety from the intoxicating mixture of pickles and special sauce[II]. I’ve been trying to kick my fast food habit but I too, had a moment of weakness and succumbed to the sweet siren smell of the KFC. You cannot deny that aroma, Febreze needs to hurry up and bottle that scent and the Cinnabon smell. After all of that malarkey, it was the worst bird that I have ever had. Damn that charlatan colonel all to hell! The video was hilarious as always DP, I was dead at “Dash my schooner upon the rocks” Haahahaha!!
I too am a casual Big Mac user. Also they’re making it dead wrong with the “trey bag” version of this called the Mac Snack Wrap. So bad yet so good.
BTW – the sax soundtrack was awesome. Its like he was musically articulating your pain. This is no coincidence.
Pete what up? Diesel what up?
I’m just hoping I build up the tolerance level so that I don’t succumb to those $.99 cent Big Mac birthday offers.
One year I stacked BM boxes in my crib. Yeah, it got like that.
B.S.E-Best Sandwich Ever I would trade at least 3 chicks I boned in my life for a free Mac a day for life cuz I’m completely shallow like that. Sheesh in DC chicks are a dime a dozen but good Macs are rare. Too many HS students working at Mickey D’s making food without the love
After watching Fast Food Nation and the DVD extras . . . I went to McDonald’s and got a Big Mac.
FAIL.
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The things you believe you also give power, so believe in YOURSELF, every minute and every hour . . .” -KRS ONE
Where’s the payoff? I want to see you dive into that BIG MAC with gusto! I want to see that special sauce dripping from the back of the bun…wait a minute this is getting a little weird.
I haven’t eaten McDonald’s for over 3 years or Burger King for over 10 years.
I haven’t eaten McDisease in 13 years. Those have been the best years of my life. LOL Dallas, not so much the lettuce.
I fux with the chipotle bbq angus joint. i aint tired of that ish yet
I try & stay away from Mickey D, but that dude is a cholesterol hustler, a grease pimp. Damn his 2 all(most) beef patties, special sauce & his extra cheese. Stay strong DP, give me hope. Maybe I’ll try & ween myself by fuxing with the F’o’F & CracKnuggets.
Fast food nation was ill.
Yo that was mad funny. Homeboy dallas doin a soliloquy in honor of big macks….classic