I can remember begging my dad to let me stay awake late so that I could watch the NBA Tight Pants All Star Game. Back in those days the NBA was broadcast at 2am E.S.T. because network executives didn’t think that they had a brand that was family friendly for primetime television. There was something ‘NahRight‘ about a whole bunch of Black Men running around in extremely tight pants, shooting, slamming, dunking and banging with each other. Please say three No Homos to yourself after that last sentence.
Since I was just a kid I didn’t see anything wrong with all of that and I enjoyed the competition and gamesmanship. I remember the All-Star Game that was played back in 1965 featured so many Hall of Fame caliber players. The games were fast paced and there was always a lot of scoring (did I say No Homo earlier?). I can remember the game almost as if it were yesterday…
JOHN STOCKTON dribbled the ball up the court…
passing off for a layup to Tight Pants All Star and Long Socks Legend MICHAEL COOPER
The New York Knicks Tight Pants contingent got into the game when WALT ‘CLYDE‘ FRAZIER inbounded the ball to…
BLACK JESUS from Philadelphia a/k/a EARL ‘The PEARL’ MONROE whose nifty ball-handling(n.h.) broke down the defense and then he passed to…
BERNARD ‘AUTOMATIC MONEY’ KING who never missed an open 16 footer in his life.
GEORGE ‘ICEMAN’ GERVIN was as ice cold a competitor as anybody when he was heating up the scoreboard
RICK BARRY didn’t have a cool on-court nickname like the jig players did, but he does have two or three sons carrying on his legacy playing ball in the current longshortsmen league.
MOSES MALONE banged with MAGIC JOHNSON(extra N.H.) and KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR,
and you know that LARRY BIRD and MAGIC banged hard with each other.
While fellow Detroit Piston teammate DENNIS RODMAN grabbed a ton of broads boards…
ADRIAN ‘A.D.’ DANTLEY took long socks and tight pants scoring to the next level.
Forget about those Atlanta child murders because it was DOMINQUE WILKINS who was killing shit with his sick repertoire of high flying dunks.
I don’t even have to say his name because you know who the man was in the tight pants that we were all jocking(extra super JIM JONES N.H.).
Those were the good ol’ days in the NBA. When the price of a courtside ticket could get you a show from tremendously gifted athletes and possibly a package with salty chocolate balls.
CALVIN KLEIN apparently likes salty chocolate balls.
(nullus to this entire post)
Now if Spreewell will choke his own damn coach, Calvin Klein better be glad some body escorted him off the court. I think my boy Spree still has a few good ass whoppings in him!
“CALVIN KLEIN apparently likes salty chocolate balls.”
you know you’re a hot fuckin mess for that, right? HAHAHAHAHAHA
What the fuck!
You’ve got three (overrated) Knicks up there and only one Bull? (Gervin doesn’t count.)
Where is Orlando Woolridge? Where is Reggie Theus? Where is Artis Gilmore?
I’m through reading this blog!
Dear P-City,
We have heard your request for additional consideration for Chicago players.
Please keep reading this blog for the upcoming feature:
ORLANDO WOOLRIDGE – NBA TIGHT PANTS ALL-STAR COKE HEAD
And another special feature during Domestic Violence Month:
ARTIS GILMORE – NBA TIGHT PANTS ALL-STAR WIFE BEATER
We appreciate the fact that you are one of the four people that actually read this blog, so to lose 25% of our readership would be a serious blow (no homo of course).