I am still into Mexican women even though they can get a little freaky with their Catholicism. A Mexican chick will blow your meat while you sit on the toilet, but heaven forbid if she walks past a church without making the sign of the cross.
At the local $.99cent store where I buy my condoms there are all sorts of Mexican religious paraphrenalia, because the Mexicans love to accesorize. I passed by this wild picture of JESUS/MARY which doubled as a desk clock. Depending upon which angle you view the image you might get to see Mary with a beard or Jesus with boobs.
My question now becomes this, “Dear Mexican people, is it THAT serious?!? Can’t MARY get her very own desk clock picture?”
There is one of two ways to look at it:
Either the Latin American devotion to the Virgin Mary is the remnant of disguised worship of the Aztec goddess Tonantzin.
http://www.secularhumanism.org/index.php?section=library&page=acosta_23_2
OR
The mother of God personally told the Mexicans and the rest of the Latin American darkies to get with the program and they did with so a vengeance.
I believe one of the above options but I’m not gonna say which one.
Anyway, Catholic guilt is nearly as fun as Jewish guilt but with less mainstream comedy and plays depicting it. If Neil Simon was a vato, he would have been a mastermind of lowriders and not the written word. Which is good because I don’t think a toilet blowjob is appropriate for dinner theater.
And you’re right, Mary deserves her own wall clock but for some reason I feel more comfortable with white Jesus looking at me . . . he’s in every room of my grandma’s house and has been watching me take Sunday afternoon poops for all my life.
Yo! Could you tell me where I can get that wall clock from again?!?