The women are finally getting theirs and everyone is all fuxed the fux up about it. Why can’t women get their rocks off, no matter how old they are? I watched Sophia Loren at the Golden Globes the other night and I’ll be damned if my manhood didn’t get piqued at the sight of her big ol’ dusty boobs. So what if only powdered milk is coming out of those nipples? I’m down to add water and put that in my oatmeal. Menopause is like God’s way of saying “now you can hit that raw playboy”. And who doesn’t like it raw?
Women’s sexuality is the scariest shit in the world. It’s almost as scary as angry young Black males. Add a women’s sexuality to an angry, young Black males energy and you have a national emergency. Jim Crow laws specifically punished white women and Black men from intermarrying so we wouldn’t have a bunch of Barack Obamas and Tiger Woods running around the country.
Tiger Woods is gonna go to rehab in order to keep him from smashing new twat? That is the mistake. He needs rehab in order to help him pick and choose some official beatboxes. No more babysitters or waitresses. It’s time for Tiger to start fuxing actresses and actual supermodels. If I had his paper I wouldn’t still be eating off the ‘Dollar Menu’. There are 40yr old, and 50yr old chicks out there as bad as shit and they know how to keep their under the sheets biz discreet like a motherfuxer. Keep in mind the added benefits of menopause.
We are tumbling headfirst towards Hell and a handbasket. I say that Tiger Woods should fux whoever he wants. I say that women should fux whoever they wants. People trying to have sex isn’t my problem. Not having money IS my problem. If Tiger’s libido and middle-aged pussy can fix the economy then let’s add that shit to this stupid ass healthcare bill.
As a wise Smokey told his homie Craig, “I’ll knock the dust off that Pu-ssy! The older the berry the sweeter the juice.”
“Nigga it’s the blacker the berry…”
When I was like 23, I had this chick who was about 34. Man, it’s wasn’t no fumbling, stumbling, it was straight to grits & jelly. I sniffed around her ass for a good month after. No dice. I’d got Cougar’d.
I LOVE JULIE NEWMAR… IMO she’s the best Catwoman EVAR, and given the opportunity, I’d still take her old ass out for martinis at The Stork Club.
With that said, I’m a fan of the cougar set. Lemme tell you I’ll take a 45 year old divorcee over a 25 year old chick any day. If any of y’all know a good cougar den on in a quality financial demographic location, I’m there for happy hour on the quick side.
My last cougar experience involved receiving fellatio and her doing yip bumps off my gut when she came up for air. All the while I kept a cold OE in my hand. I was truly smitten…
The cougar song: Pink and Blue by OutKast
“…so what if your hair sports a couple of grey hairs…”
haha thats my JAM
when i was 19 i was messing with a 36 year old women who was barren. no more condoms busting all in her shit was like magical to me. bust in her face she would just rub it in. for a couple months i was on top of the world.
“oh me and mrs. jones we got a thing going on”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9te6MyGZ2I
Fam, you need to take this on the book circuit. Steve Harvey ain’t got sh@t on you!
I was 15 when I gained entry into the cougar-tapping club. She would come and find me around the way, spend rolls of dough and I would Niagra Falls it with the facials. I was hittin’ that until 21. Chick was a mule, & definitely not in the face yo. I think she was like 20 or 25 yrs older than me. Man I forgot her name! But she would have the minks on, smelling deliciouso, me hopping in and out the Continental all fly with it, she put me on to a lot of game with the sisters, and the street dudes. I remember 1st meeting her at the corner store, talking about can I help her with her bags. Yeah OK.
Now there’s one in the bank I go to. She makes sure she’s the free cashier, lil’ girl giggly & sh*t. And the package is there, looking like she’s getting results from that gym membership. I didn’t do any gymnastics yet, but I know a lunch date or a bar visit is a quick and easy taste test.
F***ing memories.
Cougars ftw. I’ve dealt with nothing but older women but I haven’t got with a cougar yet 🙁
40,
That pic is Lee Meriwether who pwns Julie Newmar and Halle Berry IMHO although after seeing Halle Berry’s golden globes Sunday night she might be moving up the Catwoman pecking order
I got a bit in my stand up about how a woman complain about double standards, but a woman gets to be a “cougar” and a man gets to be a “dirty old man”
But I digress
There is a COUGAR CRUISE coming up in March or May. One of the big cruise ship companies cancelled theirs citing the cruise not coinciding with their family values oriented mission statement and whatnot, but another rival company took over the idea. Nothing but horny old women. The only thing you might catch is Leggionares Disease.
Somebody post a link. I’m at work and cant look that type of shit up
@Dallas
Catwoman recognize fail. I have Merriweather #2. Newmar accelerated my puberty and remains in my pantheon of hot TV poon. I remember as a footie pajama wearing shorty that I was upset when Newmar wasn’t the villianess on Batman, and that feeling a certain indescribable something in my then undeveloped physical. For a chick who gave me my first consistent wood, and have given me a lifetime fetish for tight black pants and thigh high boots on broads, and love for older broads – Newmar has had as much celebrity impact on me as Chuck D. I remember a few years back I bought an auto’ed 8×10 of her off eBay for the crib, and when I opened the envelope I got that same feeling I had when I was wearing those footie PJs. But now I know exactly what it was.
*confession over*
LOL – only on Dallas Penn dawt calm
PS – regarding Chuck D, I would have followed him off a cliff in the PE heyday. Only rap cat that ever moved a dude like that. Consider this the [||] in case if came off that I inferred Chuck gave me a black Wrangler jeans fetish. Again only on DP dot com
40,
This is why DP.com has a category titled ’40Deez’ in case you ever feel like making a confession. We won’t judge you. You are always at home over here.
“I’m all into older women, who’s happy livin, love kids and keep all her bizness in the crib and…”
Awww the memories. I had a 36 year old back when I was 18. What’s ill is I got locked up (for the first time) in VA and had to go to court…she was the only sista that hit me up on it. All the young girls basically said, “Let me know how it goes.”
I think Sophia Loren (in her prime of course) is still one of the baddest in the game.