The good news in bloggy’hood is that BYRON CRAWFORD has brought his ‘A’ game to the XXL website. This bodes well for everyone else in line to finally taste some of that sweet corporate poonahnee. The limousine rides, the open bars and buffets and most importantly, the whores. The sexy electronic print whores that will lick the azzhairs of anyone that has their name attached to a website with actual, not virtual, sponsors.
How do I know all about the industry paradise that awaits the BC dot C when I sit here in my parents’ basement with no shirt on, sipping Level vodka mixed with raspberry lemonade Crystal Light, from my favorite cup with the crazy straw (no brokeback, as always)? I know because I imagine it to be that way. Why else would you pour your heart and soul onto a webpage if there wasn’t any monetary return. I heard that the blogging game was just like the crack game, except you won’t have to give some stranger your parent’s color Trinitron for a $10 red-topped vial.
The real truth about writing is that there isn’t a pot of gold waiting or you at the end of the rainbow (didn’t I say no brokeback). There’s no car service waiting to pick you up from the airport, if your Black you may not even be able to catch a cab. There aren’t any sexy literary whores, just skanks.
You see there are three professions that people would do just for the love – 1) astronaut, 2) circus performer and 3) writer. Can you imagine the rush that comes from making people gaze in wonderment and then clap with applause. To be able to evoke that response without burning to a crisp upon re-entry or having to shove a Cirque-du-Soleil sword into your rectum makes writing the best thing in the world.
Corporate America knows this much and they contract writers to develop the campaigns that sell you all the bullshiite that you don’t need. Whether its a new pair of sneakers or the war on Iraq, someone wrote something down that started the ball rolling. And to this extent I will cast my lot. I may not make it to the promised land that BYRON CRAWFORD has entered, but I would be just as happy with a new crazy straw.
I’m with you (no brokeback) the holy grail of blogging could be an income slightly higher than that of a garbage man. Still, it’s damn impressive what the dictator of the midset army has accomplished. His latest battle post kicked ass as well . . . Sad to see so much ha8orz (narf!) cast aspersions his way when he should be a role model for anybody who woke up on the wrong side of bed and wanted to write about it.
What The Game’s Been Missing indeed
Rest assured, I am keeping an eye on bol as to how he will be able to maintain his integerity.
5 minutes ago, I was really pissed because I had to come into work on a Saturday.
Now, I’m just laughing my ass off. (No Brokeback!)
This was hilarious.