V.M.A. Rhymes With Really Gay

It’s not easy to be funny right now when half of the website staff is still in Miami because of all the flight delays from Hurricane Starrkeysha. I hope that none of the subscribers from Biloxi, Mississippi are homeless right now. Holler at BILLY SUNDAY if you are from Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Florida, Georgia or Tennessee. E-mail me with pictures of the desperation and the carnage and I will try to get you on the website staff as a reporter.

Its too bad that the hurricane couldn’t have done some good for the world by blowing thru Miami last nite and sweeping the entire VIACOM MTV VMA production out to sea. Yeah, I know we would have lost some staffers at the website, but think of what kind of world we could raise our kids in without the vapid and shallow personalities that filled that auditorium.

We would eventually miss KANGAY and R.KELLY doing their smash duet ‘Coming Out of the Closet’ but that’s a small price to pay considering the fact that we would no longer have to see new cellphone commercials from YOUNG JEEZY, LIL’ WEEZIE, BOW WIZZLE or SNOOP DOUBLE GIZZLE.

Is it just me or have the T.I.’s used the DNA from SAMMY DAVIS Jr. to create an army of minstrel clones? There was so much noise and sound and fury and the only thing that was signified was a dancing monkey. Watching PUFFY’s old azz dance and shuffle was fun in retrospect to watching UNCLE LUKE bounce and then seeing M.C. HAMMER slide and then… who the fuck is this TOMMY the CLOWN?!?

This is definetly some plan of the T.I.’s. I don’t know what it is just yet, but I am going to get to the bottom of this (extra JOHN LEGEND is KANGAY’s kept man no-homo).

Now that VIACOM has reduced Hip-Hop vis-a-vie rap music to colorful homo clowning it is time to go back to the rebel roots of soul music. I have been ready to get back here. Y’all should come along too.

Nahhh, y’all jiggs are prah’lee practicing your krumping.

One Response to “V.M.A. Rhymes With Really Gay”

  1. piper says:

    on the one hand it’s good to see young people taking control of their destiny and gaining/building economic wealth (the american/capitalist dream) and it’s great to see diasporic(yes i made that up all by-my-self) people living it up in luxury, becoming more visible universally, moving about in the uppercrust of society.  i mean isn’t this our ancestors’ hopes and
    dreams fulfilled?

    however, i’m saddened by the self-hatred, ignorance, and overall tackiness of “our people”.  and i blame us.  poor education (i’m talking basic education from home, elementary school on up through high school). how do we expect to build a society when we feed our kids starburst cereal for breakfast, berry berry coke as juice, and fried gmo psuedo chix made from beakless, boneless featherless beasts? we don’t care for our children.  they are not nourished properly on any level and we let tv/radio raise and educate and comfort them.  then we wonder why ray ray can’t go out and be a productive member of society and harbors so much hate and looks up to the underbelly. because crime pays in america and the worker suffers. and as african diasporic people we traded our 40 acres for jail time (actually this solidifies our position anywhere in society: fuck jury duty. do 6 months minimum it’s your civic duty) the race is in trouble. there is no black community. just niggers. and then there’s the military (the new college).
    this option is only offered, excuse me, pushed at orientation day at innercity schools. but that’s another topic. i digress,

    we honestly need to figure out how to educate our youth. i’m not sure if people realize this but reading/writing/arithmatic is key to life. how can we expect “society” to change? remember: the game stays the same. so now, the media is the new dope. it keeps our youth and grown folks for that matter focused on celebrities and consumerism and bullshit, so they can forget about  what’s going on or actually they will never know what’s going on because the “truth” is nicely melded over and filtered and hidden in mainstream nonsense. (thank god for democracynow.org) slavery was on it’s way out in the sixties, but not now. oh no. slavery is back in full-e-f-f-e-c-t. i.e: basketball (or any other sport), music industry, prison. and that means big bucks folks. oh yeah, so how can we compete with that? i know. anyway.
    that’s my 2 cents.


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