There hasn’t been too much good news for rap music in 2006. The loss of the great producer JAY DEE was overshadowed by the deaths of high profile superstar umbrella holders and bodyguards. If there was one kernel of hope for Hip-Hop fans it would have to be the news that LIL’ KIM will be released from her Federal incarceration a few months early. She has had a hit song playing in the website’s office for the last several weeks. The INTERN has been steadily bumping LIL’ KIM and in a couple of weeks I expect him to make a trip back to Philadelphia to be among the thousands of fans and B.E.T. staffers that will welcome KIMBERLY JONES back home.
The INTERN took the time to write one final letter to Mrs.JONES to profess his undying love in the hopes that she will carry his child. We’re not holding our breath since she hasn’t written back yet. The INTERN’s heart will be broken, but he needs to learn that LIL’ KIM keeps it too real for ‘Something New’.
Kimberly Jones 56198-054
FDC Philadelphia – Federal Detention Center
P.O. BOX 562
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Dear Kim,
Hey lil’ ma what’s up? I read the letter that you sent via your publicist and it made me feel good. Even though you haven’t been able to write me back I feel like you shouted me out in that group letter. I love you so much and I am proud of you for coming through this ordeal with so much strength. You are a role model for a lot of people that have to face tough times. They can see you handling your biz with class and that might help them to keep their heads up. B.I.G. would have been very proud of you.
How have you been doing? The latest news is that you will be home early. That’s whats up. Everybody in the office is saying that you aren’t really in prison because you did a video with MAINO, but I am trying to tell them that you did that video with MAINO way back in like 2004 or something. That’s why MAINO had to duff LIL’ CEASE out because he owed you for that cameo that you did for him. That was fucked up that LIL’ CEASE had to get stepped to while he was in a liquor store. I bet he was buying Hypnotiq. That’s what chicks like to drink.
Speaking of ladies, there are no more ladies on the scene amymore. If anything, your girl MARY J. is the only female rapper making any noise. MISSY ELLIOT is all about Euro dance music now and TRINA is reppin’ for the south, but like most south acts she has no lyrical skills. It’s real boring in rap music right now. The biggest thing popping will be your boy JAY-Z’s ‘Reasonable Doubt’ concert at Radio City Hall. JAY-Z was there last week with the Roots, but only white boys went to that show. I know what your thinking, aren’t I white too? I am only white on the outside. I rep the streets in my heart. Why don’t you come home and perform BIGGIE’s verse on ‘Brooklyn’s Finest’ at the concert? That will drive the crowd crazy and I think it would be a strong move to let the world know that the Queen Bee is back on the attack.
It’s just like I have been saying to you for the last few letters but Hip-Hop needs a savior and I don’t see why it can’t be you. We need something to make us excited again for rap music. Otherwise me and the rest of the white boys that buy rap CD’s will just start listening to punk rap because at least they are keeping it real and not like all of the cartoon thugs that are in the game.
I hope that when you come home you put the rap game in a smash for good. And yes, I still have your HardCore poster on my bedroom wall.
Stay up ma,
Ethan Nosowsky
This letter was very well put. Kim is going to come home and shut this shit dowwwnnnn. Remy Man, I mean Mess, I mean Ma it is ova’ fo’ yo’ stankin’ ass……BEEEOTCH!
Eloquent, even.