HIP-HOP Used To Be A Force For Good…

kangay

There was a moment when rap music was considered the CNN to the center city. It described the frustrations, the struggles, the truth about how America’s disenfranchised and underserved viewed themselves and their community. It became obvious through the music that the conditions that existed in these communities were created and maintained by a power that was more wretched than any of us could have imagined. The stakes were high that’s for sure and this power wasn’t about to subject everyone to the evil truth. That’s why the dark jedi cloak their faces. Otherwise everyone would be able to see how disfigured their evil has made them. Rap music was similarly disguised from the ghetto CNN into the ghetto HSN.

Home Shopping Network doesn’t offer a goddamn thing that any of us need, but we will buy the shit they sell if that is the only thing they sell. Consuming completes us as Americans, moreso than love and self-esteem can. It reaffirms the notion that we have power over something, anything. I do a lot of my shopping in the 99cent store because that is all I can afford sometimes and because the Chinese got it, for cheap. Rap music is just like the 99cent store too. Nothing on the shelves is built to last. I can’t think of a post 9-11 rap CD that I would still want to bump in my car (fuck you repo man). There was a time when the music wasn’t this bleak, even a BLEEK CD wouldn’t be that bad provided that JAY appeared on half the tracks. I am not an old school head that wishes for the comeback album from the SugarHill Gang. There is official music on the streets, but none of it gets the shine from the ivory tower called Viacom. Check out JOELL ORTIZ, peep KIRB & CHRIS. You should already know about FRANK & DANK, SLUM VILLAGE and CAPPADONNA.

I had such high hopes for rap music and my generation. I feel like we let each other down by not stepping up to rally, or to vote, or to educate ourselves when the call was made. Instead we just shopped and partied. Now I should prah’lee qualify that last statement because I am sure that I don’t speak for all of you. I am as guilty of all the above as anyone so maybe my disappointment is when I see my own reflection. I am as much a part of Hip-Hop as any emcee or deejay that you listen to on the radio. I owe Hip-Hop a debt for my sense of style, the way I speak, my love of art and how I move through the world. Can you imagine what the soundtrack to our lives would sound like without Hip-Hop music? I love acid jazz, but there is only so much acid a brother can take before it starts to eat away your spinal fluid, excuse me, now I digress…

In 1977 GEORGE LUCAS released the first film in his monstrously epic series called ‘Star Wars’. The series would forever change the way that we look at movies. The series is the ultimate parable of good conquering evil, or something like that. It was certainly good art.

There was a moment when I considered rap music to be good art, a weapon for change, and a Force for good…

kanghey

KANYE WEST = LUKE SKYWALKER
This is the man who is supposed to bring balance back to the universe. Does anyone remember when MOS DEF annointed this dude the future of rap music on the Def Jam Poetry show?!? I normally take MOS DEF very seriously, but after that comment he made on this dude’s behalf I thought that MOS was on the Kool-Aid. KANYE ain’t even give MOS no beats either. WTF?!

leia

50 CENT = PRINCESS LEIA ORGANA
Before you fools start acting up you need to understand that Princess Leia was stronger with the force than Luke was. In the same way, 50 CENT is more influential than KANYE is. 50 CENT is everywhere, all the time. He is making money off this blog and I ain’t making money off this blog.

leia

The actual reason that I had to make 50 this character though was because just like Princess Leia, he would love to be kissed in the mouth by Han Solo…

50 and nas

nasir

NAS = HAN SOLO
This was a no brainer to me. NAS stares out of his Queensbridge apartment window and poetically imagines himself to be a daring, outlaw swashbuckler.

nazzy

Also, the main reason that NAS had to be Han Solo is because he is married in real life to Chewbacca.

chewleese

Say what you want to say, at least KELIS is bossy enough to find the humor in this piece of shiite blog.

chewleese

lando

JAY-Z = LANDO CALRISSIAN
Fuck loyalty, Lando was alll about his business. When he saw an opportunity to come up in the game he took it. DAME who?!? That’s why he made the deal with the Empire to freeze Han Solo in the carbonite. NAS still had some ether left in him so he was able to break free and now he and Lando JAY are cool again, and its nothing.

hando

jaynas

teh ghey

GNARLS BARKLEY = C3PO and R2-D2
Did you catch GNARLS BARKLEY on the MTV awards a few months ago? They freaked a set of their song ‘Crazy’ while the entire band was wearing ‘Star Wars’ themed costumes. They’re cool, but they’re totally teh ghey so I had to make them the fag robot couple.
roots crew

THE ROOTS = THE MODAL NODES
After I saw the ROOTS Crew perform for the thousandth time I realized that these brothers would be the only cats that had a chance of saving Hip-Hop from itself, but that task may end up being too Herculean for even these ultra-talented brothers. In the first ‘Star Wars’ movie when shit breaks fool in the bar and dude gets his arm cut off wasn’t it funny how the music only stopped for like a second?

jaweezle

LIL’ WEEZY = JAWA
You can’t sleep on these cats from the first movie either. They were the ultimate hustlers because they would steal your shit and sell it right back to you. I imagine that LIL’ WEEZ needs to have some of that scavenger attitude in him right now also since the Ninth Ward is still fucked the fuck up.

ewoks

MOBB DEEP = EWOKS
These lil’ dudes were all about making music with tree trunks and playing around. Anybody remember Bars & Hooks?

jedi

THE JEDI KNIGHTS
The Jedi Knights were the guardians of the galaxy. They used their power to shed light on the darkness. Some would be corrupted by the darkside, but the most courageous and virtuous of them remained true to the Force.

caz

GRANDMASTER CAZ = YODA
Yeah bitches, there is no father to CAZ’ style. Without his ryhmebook there would be no commercial Hip-Hop. I don’t see commercial Hip-Hop as a negative in as long as what you are selling is the truth.

rakim

RAKIM ALLAH = MACE WINDU
Even though Mace Windu dies in the series and the God is still with us I had to make him this character since his knowledge of the Force and his ability with it was second only to Yoda. Mace Windu had actually defeated the Dark Sith Lord until he was double crossed by Darth Vader. Draw all the connections that you see fit.

krs wan

KRS-ONE = OBI-WAN KENOBI
KRS is just as gully now as he was twenty years ago, maybe even more so. When you carry a lightsaber tuned in to the truth you think that you are invincible. That’s why I picked KRS-ONE to play Obi-Wan, also because his mentor SCOTT LA ROCK was killed before his training was fully completed.

duel

scott la rock

As one of the last Jedi left standing Obi-Wan was as much of a teacher as he was still a warrior. I remember reading the ‘Autobiography of Malcolm X’ after being inspired by the imagery of KRS-ONE, PUBLIC ENEMY and LARRY DAVIS

krs-wan

jedi knights

The ranks of the Jedi are far too numerous to name on this site, but I will try to recall as many as possible and describe their contributions to the life giving Force that surrounds us all.

bambaataa AFRIKA BAMBAATAA
You shouldn’t even ask me because English words do not do him justice.

DJ KOOL HERC
Along with brother BAMBAATAA, he crafted a monumental art form from literally nothing. The Bronx is still the poorest region in America per capita. The struggle still continues but now it is our responsibility to demand better schools, better jobs and a better life.
kool herc

melle mel MELLE MEL
Raw, unbridled passion. To this day no one has painted the graphic rise and fall of man as well as ‘The Message’ does. No one dares utter that primal growl either.

furious 5

THE FURIOUS FIVE
The brothers are the forebearers of the rap collective. Each member carrying their own distinguished style and swagger.

the enemy

PUBLIC ENEMY
‘Yo! Bum Rush The Show’ was a sonic smack to the face that made the T.I.’s (Trade Federation) recognize the power of rap music once and for all. P.E. changed rap music in so many ways. Their in your face, unapologetic, pro-Black image was real and unfiltered. The only thing that I can think of right now that keeps it this real is the ‘KILL WHITE TEE‘ movement.

jazzy jeff DJ JAZZY JEFF
When I saw JEFF perform with the ROOTS Crew I beckoned him to do the transformer scratch. Too bad I was yelling from the uppermost balcony.

DJ PREMIER
PRIMO has been holding it down for years and he has never compromised his sound no matter what funky flutes or corny keyboard trends are infiltrating Hip-Hop.
primo

j dilla DILLA b/k/a JAY DEE
One word. Genius. He loved Hip-Hop like we all should.

R.I.P. JAMES YANCEY


bobby digi THE RZA
As the chief architect of the Wu Tang Clan, the RZA found a way to create energy using the powers of The Furious Five, Public Enemy. Poor Righteous Teachers, and Sonny Chiba movies.

the wu

THE WU-TANG CLAN
For all intensive purposes, rap music ended after the Wu-Tang. There will never be another collective with the talent, the imagination or the style. The entire diaspora of positive Black manhood was represented by the Wu. Not perfect, but still very positive.

shady

AFTERMATH/SHADY/G-UNIT
The jury still hasn’t come in on this trio, but I imagine it might not be good. 50 CENT and EMINEM are undoubtedly the most influential rappers to this point, but they are both padawans of Dr.DRE and one of the sacred laws of the Jedi is that no good master can have two students.

dre DR. DRE
There is a character in the ‘Star Wars’ universe named Sifo-Dyas. He was responsible for placing the order for the clone army with the Kaminoans. Sifo-Dyas was under the direction of the Dark Lord of The Sith.

lyor

THE TRADE FEDERATION a/k/a THE T.I.’s
The Trade Federation were only pawns of the Dark Lord of the Sith, but he used them to send the Jedi on errant missions and ultimately to their demise. The T.I.s are represented by the executives that run Viacom Corp. They own all manner of media outlets including the big three cultural hustling networks – B.E.T., M.T.V. and VH-1.

t.i.s

bignpac

BIGGIE and TUPAC
BIGGIE’s influence is surprising considering his abbreviated catalog of work, while TUPAC continues to make records and movies ten years after he was killed. Are either of these artisits to be considered Jedi. You have to decide.

younglings

YOUNGLINGS
These are the padawans or students of the Jedi. They show a high concentration of the mito-chlorians that signal someone who can be strong with the Force. JOELL ORTIZ, SAIGON, PAPOOSE and YOUNG JOC are some of the younglings that may grow to be strong with the light side of the Force. Let’s hope that is their goal.

lyte as a rock

Before I close this thought I almost forgot to mention a character that was essentail to the ‘Star Wars’ series. Without Queen Amidala, there would be no Luke or Leia. The same goes for this young lady. How many female emcees have sprung from her womb? RAH DIGGA is certainly the nicest, but no one else can fuck with the LYTE side of the Force.

56 Responses to “HIP-HOP Used To Be A Force For Good…”

  1. Fly Rizzle Says:

    fukkin classic lmbao

  2. Rafi Says:

    Post of the year. Ridiculous!

  3. Nigeria Says:

    Thats the exact same way I felt about Wu-Tang.

  4. Jvine Ent. Says:

    D.P.’s got that crazy shit!

  5. Amadeo Says:

    So would that make Suge Knight Jabba the Hutt?

  6. Miss Ahmad Says:

    i don’t like gnarls barkley being the fag robot couple…that one kinda stings. i was trying to get in on a collaboration piece if you catch my drift!

  7. p-city Says:

    D –

    You knocked this one out of the park!!!

    Brilliant.

  8. Candice Says:

    Extremely astute. DP you never cease to amaze me.

  9. Ben Says:

    Oh shit! I’m dyin. That inspired me to comment for the first time… I’m waiting for that book, man.

  10. jdotnicholas Says:

    CHURCH.

  11. Gee Says:

    WTF!?!
    I wanna testafy, roll up in the spot lookin’ EXtra fly…” OH, Sorry…
    I agree, …PREACH Reverend* waving frantically in front of the computer gesticulating wildly as if to summon spirit of uh, uh,…EMOTION!”

  12. autobot315 Says:

    excellent post. please check out my blog im new to this so any comments will help me get better crissycorpses.blogspot.com

    1

  13. agent b Says:

    wow, absolutely fucking classic

  14. Gee Says:

    Oh, and by the way..You are right on point about Lando and JayZ.

  15. Wild Bill Swinton Says:

    How do you come up with this? Were u dropped on ur head a few times as a child or was it the fumes? Anyway thanx! I appreciate the abnormalities of the Dallas!

  16. ZellitaConchitaMofongo Says:

    Dayyuumm! I wonder how long it took you to come up with all of that and then find those pics to match…you are the webmaster.

  17. Jennifer Says:

    truly genius DP. you need to be writing for a living.

  18. Guds Says:

    Yo good shit.
    Kelis with Chewy on the shirt is killer.

    Free Ice tea on me son .

  19. jb Says:

    nice post (excepting the fag stuff)

    kanye threw mos sunshine on new danger. i actually think its good that mos doesn’t work with him. i like his hodgepodge of mildy known producers. i wonder what he and 88 could do now and him and minnesota have good chem.

  20. LM Says:

    Like I said, you are ridiculous. Keep it up, dude.

  21. Kincaid Says:

    I am laughing hysterically right now.
    You are sooooo on point with Kelis rockin the ChewBakka Tee!
    Kincaid

  22. chuckie chill Says:

    I like, I like.

  23. Nah Right » Blog Archive » Stray Shots Says:

    [...] Hip Hop used to be a force for good  [...]

  24. 911 Says:

    Scheme Scheme Plot Plot coming for that number one spot alright man……I could see it coming the crown officially reside here…{no blogger}….1

  25. Start Snitching Says:

    Blog post of the year?

    I dont even like half of the Star Wars and this shit killed it.

  26. Jay Robinson Says:

    Then that would make Biggie… Obi-Wan Kenobi??

    http://www2.hawaii.edu/~jayrobin/biggie.jpg

  27. Billy Sunday Says:

    ^uh… no.

  28. Vik Says:

    what about the emperor….?
    i would pick jimmy iovine.

    great work dallas.

    27 comments. shit’s blowin up!

  29. the_dallas Says:

    word! 27 comments and I didn’t even put Nikki ‘Hoopz’ Alexander or Paul Wall in this post. If I had done that this shit would be platinum status, but then I would have had to dumb it down for all the Hoopz stans. Thanks to the web-cipher that dropped their names on this, I appreciate that.

    As far as Iovine and Hustle Simmons and Clive Davis, they are all part of the Trade Federation. The Trade Federation are just tools of the Galactic Emperor. If you want to see the players for the Dark side of the Force click here…
    http://dallaspenn.com/weblog/?p=363

  30. Blue Says:

    Good job. But maybe Mos is right?? In the sad state that hiphop is in right now, Kanye just might be the future. Hey I’m no fan of Kanye but he is better most the shit out right now.

  31. Tope Says:

    Good job. .. but doesn’t Tribe trump Wu-Tang?

  32. Billy Sunday Says:

    ^how would you figure that?

    do you know how many songs that Jay Dee did for ATCQ that he never got credit for?

    Q-Tip didn’t even show up for his benefit concert that the Roots jumped off at Radio City. Q-Tip is my man 50 grand, but I ain’t feeling him too tough after that manuever.

  33. Combat Jack Says:

    Great shiite dude. Who’s Darth Vader?

  34. the_dallas Says:

    ^Amadeo asked if Suge was Jabba and I never considered that anyone in Hip-Hop would be Dark siders. Call that my optimism. The enemy of Hip-Hop’s Jedis was Tipper Gore, C.Delores Tucker and the PMRC. The supremacist media that uplifts the thug/drug dealer as the colored peoples icon for manhood.

    Maybe even I’m Darth Vader in the end of all this, for not being my brother’s keeper at times in my life.

  35. King Tee Says:

    Wig Wise Legend & Lore.

  36. vinroxwell Says:

    To correct you, Mos did get a beat from Kangay.

    Besides that, great blog. Funny stuff.

  37. Darth Cipher Says:

    the best post i’ve seen in a while… though Kelis is looking alot more “professional” these days

  38. French Kevin Says:

    Hip-Hop is a force for good. As long as it generates the increased revenues yearly, it’s real fucking good. Fuck what they rap about, this is good for the economy.

  39. the_dallas Says:

    ^obviously a Trade Federation (T.I.) spy

  40. 911 Says:

    What’s the last pic I’m still not able to view it?/?/?

  41. Nigeria Says:

    French Kevin

    ^obviously a Trade Federation (T.I.) spy

    Mos Definitely

  42. scripperluva Says:

    HEE. LAIR. EE. YUSS.

  43. tre0 Says:

    where is ice t at? he is hip hop.

  44. Misty Blue Says:

    I’m a first timer to this blog. This was beautifully written and illustrated.

  45. lar Says:

    this is fuckin hilarious. i had a similar thought awhile back-
    http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=25568

  46. the_dallas Says:

    ^Much respect to you player and a well written article to boot. I don’t think we shared any similarities other than using the word Star Wars and the characters of 50 Cent and Kangay Wezzle. You don’t work for Universal do you?

    Then I will be mad on your behalf if Kanghey hasn’t mailed you two LV leather-handled platinum salad spoons for with which you can carry his nutsach – nullus.

    No hard feelin’s pimpin’ I still got you on my blogroll.

  47. lar Says:

    haha- no, you nailed the concept dead on g. on point as usual.
    actually no, no Universal checks and no spoons- Kanye just sent me a spare DVD copy of Mr.Marcus’ White Pussy Plunder 16.

  48. Recenia Says:

    I am so sorry you haven’t heard from anyone in a minute! I most definitely am not somewhere getting pregnant! LOL…

    you were missing for a minute yourself, hopefully all is well and send me some up to date music.

    where the party at?

    Recenia

  49. the_dallas Says:

    Recenia,

    I haven’t been missing. I am here every goddamn day. Stop waiting for me to send you an e-mail blast and visit the site more often.

  50. Jon Skywalker Says:

    Awesome post. I would say Eminem is Vader (white turned black) and Dr. Dre is Sidious since he took Em in as his apprentice. Together they will rule the galaxy until Hailie Jade kicks Eminem’s ass. =)

  51. » DallasPenn.com Presents…Hip-Hop Is Not Dead - XXL Says:

    [...] Hip-hop can still be a force for good, but only if it remains in the hands of the bravehearts and the courageous. If the only fans of hip-hop that remain are undereducated cowards and fools, then hip-hop is truly dead and I will have to start downloading some punk rock bands in order to hear some real hardbody rebel music. You people are gonna have to make the call. I’m outta here. [...]

  52. Rey Says:

    I like Kanye.

    I love Star Wars.

    This was a good post.

  53. chauncey Says:

    kelis is fuckin sexy ill fuck her til my dick go soft

  54. ThingAlec Says:

    Cool post. I did something like this, but instead of Star Wars, it was Pirates of the Caribbean.

  55. iZno Says:

    Nice post…

    Hip hop’s got to show some love to Star Wars…

  56. Tomasa Mehrens Says:

    Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the benten, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

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