The KILL WHITE TEE! Movement
Over the last ten years Hip-Hop fashion has taken its cues from the clothing issued to penitentiary inmates. This is in part due to the desires of record companies to market their slaves, er…artists, as furloughed felons. TUPAC SHAKUR, the world’s most overrated rapper, made billions of dollars for the record and clothing industries after serving a prison stint for molesting a teenager. That set in motion the godawful fashion trends we must now endure in popular music. From belted baggy pants to tuxedos worn with doo-rags instead of top hats, Hip-Hop icons are chasing the lowest common denominator.
The most ridiculous and insidious of all of these trends is the WHITE TEE. Given that this schmatte was originally fashioned as a LADIES nightshirt, I am amazed at the irony of a so-called thug wearing a ladies garment. The NIGHT TEE WHITE TEE is a standard issue item for people that are freshly incarcerated because it allows them to be stripped completely naked of all clothing, save for the WHITE TEE, in order to present themselves for full cavity body searches from the prison personnel. Inmates began to enjoy the routine searches and when some of them returned to their families they continued to wear their NIGHT TEE WHITE TEEs. Some even requested the strip searches from others that they saw in a WHITE TEE.
The world famous Holcomb Rucker Park tournament introduced a WHITE TEE Wednesday promotion where all attendees were allowed to squeeze each others behinds. Crappers began to see the connection that people in NIGHT TEE WHITE TEEs had and they too wanted to be naked and strip searched. Some crappers even wanted to be LOUIMA’d as well, but I digress from my subject. Frankly, if this trend to wear women’s clothing persists, I am scared that stick-up kids will start wearing skirts and pointy high heels.
It is high time we remove this scourge from the streets and release this yoke from the backs of the young men out there who have no one other than a fictitious felon on their f.m. dial to emulate for their manhood. It is time for us all to KILL WHITE TEE!
|HUEY P. NEWTON
Mr. NEWTON was actually one of the first celebrities to sign up for this campaign because he recognized the need to move ghetto fashion forward.
100% pre-shrunk cotton MEN’s size Large and XL available. $20 S/H included.
|ANGRY BLACK WOMEN
Have you ever tried to remove a spaghetti sauce stain from a white tee? These sisters have and they are mad as hell. My advice to you would be to pitch in on laundry day.
100% pre-shrunk cotton MEN’s size Small and Medium available. $20 S/H included.
Even the Ku Klux Klan has decided to join the movement by realizing that we have common goals. Something tells me the real reason is that they need the white tees for their new recruits.
100% pre-shrunk cotton MEN’s size Medium and Large available. $20 S/H included.
|ORENTHAL JAMES SIMPSON
O.J. was a little reluctant to work with the movement, but when we convinced him that no white people would be harmed because of the project he knifed right in. O.K. that was a lousy pun, but the shirt is awesome.
100% pre-shrunk cotton MEN’s size Small, Medium, Large and X-Large available. $20 S/H included.
To place an order, holler at firstname.lastname@example.org