Mothers I’d Love To F…

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Did anyone catch this news byte about the 59year old New Jersey woman having twins? I am bugging out because it’s not like she was doing this to help out her fallow daughter-in-law, but she did this on the strength that she wanted more kids. That got me thinking to how many grandmothers out there are giving up that sweet-aged Power U. Think about a fine wine that sits in an oak cask for decades and then gets brought out for some fancy reception. The bouquet, the taste, are both refined and exquisite.

There are some women that are like a fine Bordeaux. Their Power U has been sitting inside their drawls for decades and whenever it gets let out to breathe it’s like a rose garden or something. That is why you can’t sleep on some of these grown azz women. They have been meditating on the force of their stinky love bush and they know how to use it like a Jedi master or some shit. When we leave this place none of us are sure where we’ll be going, but one thing is for sure, and that’s we all know from where we came. Here’s a quick list of the places that I’d like to visit.

BTW, this post has been stamped with approval by ZILLA.


M.I.L.F. (from 30yrs old to 49yrs old)

stella ANGELA BASSETT
Even though IKE TURNER put a hardbody whupping on her azz and then TAYE DIGGS scraped it too, I still consider homegirl to be the ‘Chocolate Truth’.

kill bill UMA THURMAN
I was hot for her after I saw this flick called Gattaca. Sweet snowflake poon.

mz america VANESSA WILLIAMS
Miss America nigga! And don’t you ever forget it.


G.I.L.F. (from 50yrs old to 69yrs old)

mz patti PATTI LaBELLE
You already know how I feel ’bout Mz.PATTI.

9.5 wks KIM BASINGER
PRINCE and ALEC BALDWIN both put in 9 1/2 weeks on this sweet piece of white meat. The truth is that sloppy seconds is all I wanted in the first place.

fame DEBBIE ALLEN
Fame nigga! I wanna live forever!

claire PHYLICIA ALLEN-RASHAD
Awwwww ish, a sister two fer one. My dream would be to tell Theo that me and his momma are jammin’ it on the one.


G.G.I.L.F. (from 70yrs old to eternity)

sophia loren SOPHIA LOREN
MICHAEL might be crazy, but he ain’t stupid. I would still let my face be her toilet seat. She hasn’t cracked after seven decades so you know what that really means.

sophia loren

sophia loren


***MOST HONORABLE MENTION***

lena horne LENA HORNE
Mz.LENA has done it all in her illustrious career. Trust me that you don’t even want to know how Animal got his nickname?!?

12 Responses to “Mothers I’d Love To F…”

  1. jdotnicholas says:

    Yo, I cosign your whole post, cept ‘Nessa. Don’t she got herpes? Ask my man Rick Fox. And Patti can GET IT for real.

    That post is GOSPEL, and I almost lost my ish when you hit that Theo/Stevie line from the Cosby show.

  2. prynsex says:

    Off the chain.

  3. Miss Ahmad says:

    i guess you’ll be copping that nude calendar joint that miss loren will be appearing on?

    buck naked and wildin’ out at 72!

  4. s.d. says:

    The list is 100 but what about diane carroll ,tina turner,sheila e,thelma(bet awards squared it off for me),stacy dash(she is forty)!

  5. 911 says:

    I’ll give the 30 to 49 year olds their props but that’s were it stops……the rest just kind of creeps me out…well Rashad and Basinger………….may B

  6. Miss Ahmad says:

    i got them nekkid Stacy Dash joints and she’s making 40 look mighty inviting!

  7. Nigeria says:

    Wheres Rosie Perez

  8. jb says:

    I believe its GMILF (according to Dog Bites Man) and GGMILF.

  9. Billy Sunday says:

    Do my ladies run the muthafucka?!?

    Miss Ahmad – hit me up with them Stacy Dizzash jizzoints.

    Rosie Perez is too whorish for me but I know ZILLZ would beat just on the strength of hearing her say “Moooookie!”

    Sheila E. and Diahann Carroll can get it till they die (and even then I would beat because I am a necromancer)

    more to come next week. peep ZILLA SAYS dot com too.

  10. props on the list …and props on shared dash pics.
    Billz is frontin’ on the Rue Mclanahan snatcha from The Golden Girls. Blanche puss!

    yeah rosie perez big tittied self would get it. she don’t even have to talk.

  11. Jesse says:

    I co-sign the list, but the absence of Pam Grier is unforgivable…

  12. King B says:

    I co-sign this whole list especially patti and phyliciarashad but not so much debbie allen and kim basinger

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