Vampires are the hottest shit smoking right now. The HBO program True Blood is killing the television rating for its time slot. The ‘Twilight’ books have supplanted Harry Potter on the best seller lists and anything with a vampire theme is the sexy for corporate America.
Everybody hates Chris (Brown), but everybody loves Dracula. Zombies stay losing. Maybe because they have all those skin problems. Leprosy was never good for bagging bitches. Vampires have all the ill swag. Extra tight jeans. Silky blazers. Necklaces with embedded cocaine snifters.
I was pretty sure that KanYe West’s 808s & Heartbreaks would segue rap music into the age of hedonistic, well dressed, bloodsucking. I loved the album to death, and let’s be honest about vampires. That shit is gheyer than two men having sex.
Some dude choosing a man to live with him for all of eternity is the zenith of gheyosity. But at the end of the day if you look at the overall numbers the amopunt of ghey dudes with disposable income >>> greater than het breeders that make familes and shit. What do you think corporate America gives a fux about?
What rap music needs to do is take their cues from the fact that Jay-Z is dressing in all black again. By going vampire that will be the path for the rap music industry to court the ghey dollars without having to make Fisty Scent post the ghey Lloyd banks video on ThisIs50.com. NaS needs to name his next album Nasferatu.
I got charged into thinking about all of this vampire shit when I stopped by the XXL H.Q. Harris Publishing is now printing one of the freakiest comic titles from way back in my childhood. Vampirella was this cocktease vampire slut that was all about kicking the ass of bad vampires and demons and rapists and child abusers.
Vampirella was hot as fuck too. OMG I wanted to bang her so bad and she knew it. My dad wouldn’t let me buy these comics because he said it had some shit to do with devil worship. If you ask me, working for money is devil worship. I like it better when Harris pays me with premium alcohol. The power company doesn’t like that though (natch).
Now that I am old as shit and my dad has passed away and I write for Harris publishing, I will be reading as much Vampirella as I want and I will be occasionally touching myself in between issues. Vampires are fucking teh ghey, but a vampire chick with body karate that put the lotion on her hands can have my true blood any day of the week.
Bruh….my mother threw away my Vampirella comics for the same reasons that your pops wouldn’t let you get them. Meh…she prolly saved me from going blind anyway.
NaS needs to name his next album Nasferatu.
You Sir are a genius. LOL
I am an admitted True Blood watcher and I agree Vampires are ghey as hell but they have the illest swag ever.
LMAO @ gheyosity! As a straight man I don’t expect you to understand how sexy some of those damn vampires are on True Blood. As a woman, alls I gots to say is: Eric on True Blood could get it.
“Leprosy was never good for bagging bitches.”
Ain’t that the fucking trufe.
word.. and co-sign ’69 on Nasferatu.
you took me back on that one….when i was 11 or 12 my boy used to have fangoria magazines and i used to borrow them shit’s just to look at the vampirella cover’s and ad’s in the back. i used to post up at the magazine rack at the a&p when my mom went grocery shopping and just drool over the latest issues of vampirella and heavy metal,of course….lol
Heh.