Editor’s note: The youngest in charge of the blogosphere is 15 year old? wunderkind RODNEY DUGUE. Don’t even ask me where this prodigy has learned so many of life’s lessons without being old enough to buy beer – legally. His initial offering to this site was the visionary theme that du-rags appear to restrict the flow of blood into the brain of the wearers. For DP dot com’s guest blogger week, RD comes back with a follow up that takes some of the air out of the Jiggerman hype machine. Do you know what time it is???
TIME TO SNATCH A DU-RAG: JAY-Z
It was reported that while Jay was fishing for one of Beyonce’s weaves, he discovered his long, lost limited edition Reebok du-rag. I will bet you 50’s du-rag collection and Mark Foley’s kiddy porn empire that Lebron gave him that du-rag right after he finished high school. How do I know? The last time Lebron committed anything more than a personal foul was that time he accepted those mysterious throwback jerseys. Homeboy has been clean like the kicks he gets paid to wear.
But, back to Jay-beer, WTF dude. Seriously, you had us ROC’ing with you, fella. Breaking bread with African kings, dishing out water to the needy, damn negro, I was actually believing the ‘S’ stood for Saint, as in Saint Carter. Mother Theresa was having a party in the heavens. But, then shit started going down, literally. You were living in Danica Patrick’s temple for that whole video shoot and probably contracted that rare STD, general cranium negro-philis. For those of you who haven’t caught on yet, general cranium negro-philis is the direct effect of wearing a du-rag. Jay was exhibiting hyper-symptoms. He had his du-rag tied extra tight when he accepted the position of brand consultant of Anheuser. I know we both look alike, (we’re both black) but damn Jay no matter how you flip it, we ain’t those alien boots known to man as S dot Carters.
Stop trying to sell us out. You’re becoming more and more like that du-rag – dispensable and cheap. You selling us water in one hand and death in the other. NOW, let me understand this, you drop Cristal, but then allegedly partner up with another high-end champagne
Arnolds dick-Yuck Armand de Brignac. Negro, you ever drink apple juice? What, you piss out Bacardi? You might as well go back to them hustling days because right now you hustling the Black community like that new black-market drug and the white man is your best customer.
Change clothes Jay, and while you’re at it throw out the du-rag