When the Black Entertainment Television program ‘Hot Ghetto Mess’ contacted DP Dot Com to become a producer for their trainwreck space shuttle crash of a show I knew better than to put my name on that hot mess. I don’t think B.E.T. has the management in place to create something originally, officially funny. They need to staff up for real and get rid of some of those dinosaurs that are killing Hip-Hop.
What’s so funny about the internets anyhoo? Yeah there are tons of pictures of people in some compromising poses, and sure there are images of gloriously ugly people, but how much of that shit can you watch? Well blow me down. Apparently this is what the network needed to capture the time slot that the program was broadcast in. If this is what the people want then maybe the braintrust at DP Dot Com needs to reconsider their content programming.
If you cant B.E.T. ’em, you might as well join ’em. I sent our newest intern, Shorty Whitebread a/k/a Es Dubbz onto the internets to pull up some images and give us his commentary on the state of the nation. It’s a little something called White Folks: We Got To Better. You ain’t neva lie, Shorty Whitebread. You ain’t neva lie.
White Rappers
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Es Dubbz says “White folks, we got to do better. The first step is to stop rapping. Just because Eminem was one of the best rappers ever it doesn’t mean that there’ll ever be another good white rapper, and there isn’t. Let’s be happy with who we have in the game. You don’t see Black people in a rush to become opera singers.”
“You don’t have to rap in order to get a Hip-Hop sounding nickname. Just hang out with some Blacks and they’ll give you one for FREE.” |
Emo Garage Bands
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Shorty Whitebread says “White folks, we got to do better. Don’t start trying to bring back he New Wave 1980’s in your garage. Why don’t you just go to a rave or something. It was one thing for all the midwesterners moving into Brooklyn to be wearing Members Only jackets like the thrift store had a run on them, but if you start wearing Chams de Baron shirts and leather ties all over again we will become the worst dressed race. Behind the Latins and the Chinese.” |
Elvis Fans
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Shorty Dubbz says “White folks, we got to do better. Let’s just let Elvis Presley die already.” |
Random White People
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ES DUBBZ says “White folks, we got to do better. It’s time to come upstairs from the basement in your parents’ house and get a real job and sell all of your comic books.” |
Es Dubbz….so glad you are here. Can you address mullets, crystal meth addictions and the ones that don’t wash their hands when they leave the bathroom but always want you to try their food at the potluck lunches?
only when sunday sells all his books first
hooray for racism. You went from hilarious ye tudda to this garbage. not funny, just dumb. for shame.
thanks for this D, this is what you do!
Good drop!!!
I’m a white folk, and I approve this message.
Co-sign Rafi
some of my best friends are white and i approve of this message.
and also BET and their struggling viewership can’t tell me that Hot Ghetto Mess wasn’t one big publicity ploy that I personally didn’t buy into!
Lil ES is on fiyah! What can white people do to take the step in a better direction?
Shorty White bread you seem to have a good head on your shoulders *pause*
Great post. I was waiting for someone to do this. Wish this could be aired on television
Hey….this site makes fun of black folks and their stereotypes every single day. White folks have to take some jokes too. It’s only fair.
It’s only satire people….LOL
theplague, chill, my man. D, is far from racist … I think : p
Funny drop.
P.S. LOL @ slim fit cold chillin’ shirt.
is this how white ppl feel when they see us looking foolish? cause while i’m amused i’m completely unattached. zero vested interest. on the other hand, i feel ‘something’ for the H.A.M.s that look like me. any one else?
this is satire? – “White folks, we got to do better. The first step is to stop rapping. Just because Eminem was one of the best rappers ever it doesn’t mean that there’ll ever be another good white rapper, and there isn’t. Let’s be happy with who we have in the game. You don’t see Black people in a rush to become opera singers.”
this is just a basic, low-bro racist (+classist) joke. the kind told by larry the cable guy et al. i guess that’s my problem with it.
the other one’s are ok. I’m cool with killing elvis too.
mr. the. plague.
^ Calling something racist is easier than examining it for the comedy contained in it’s absurdity. You are right however, that statement is totally racist. What rap music really needs is more groups like Non Phixion and artists like Bubba Sparxx, not less.
see, now that was funny.
let us not forget the goths (you do see some black ones from time to time) and the Malibu’s most wanted types. I got no problem with working class wiggers. in fact, they’re the people in my home town of Baltimore whom I miss most, but the rich ones just kill me. I seen this kid in Fairfax Ca (idyllic as anywhere you could imagine) walk out of the movie theater the other day with a blue bandana tied headband style and rolled about 4 inches thick. I definitely don’t think it was a nod to Suicidal Tendancies. We white folks love us some Dipset, don’t we? BTW, I identify as a certified Jew-billy.
“see, now that was funny.”
^ No, that was classist, and racist.
The mullet thing has got to be addressed…seemed like it would be over, but I keep seeing them. I said the next time I catch one I’m gonna yell “business on top!” to see if they respond “party in the back!”