dallaspenn.com

Editor’s note: Wikipedia says that Schadenfreude is a German word meaning “pleasure taken from someone else’s misfortune”. It has been borrowed by the English language and is sometimes also used as a loanword by other languages. It derives from Schaden(damage, harm) and Freude(joy). So sit back and relax as GABEROCKKA goes in on Ghetto Celeb Schadenfreude.

Is there anything more entertaining than witnessing a celebrity’s public downfall? I was thinking about it, and I was asking myself the question of how I would write this drop; would I have a point to make or would it be random stream of consciousness writing? I tried to formulate an essay about how celebrity-directed schadenfreude is more rampant in our society now than ever, and that is a sign of a slackening of values like compassion and forgiveness in our modern society.

As soon as the point popped into my head I realized people have been revelling in the public shaming and downfalls of others, especially those on the higher level of the social strata, since the beginning of civilization. The only difference is, in our time, with the internet, cable tv, etc., we receive and spread information so much faster. Schadenfreude is just part of human nature. When someone who has always had it better than you is publically destroyed, the vast majority of people on this earth would secretly gloat to themselves as they watched with fascination as it unfolded.

So in that spirit, I would like to present Gaberockka’s top five public downfall’s of the 2006-2007 celebrity season.

Mel ‘I’m Bringing Auschwitz Back’ Gibson
Now Mel had already been accused of severe anti-semitism several times in the past, and it was common knowledge that his dad was some neo-nazi lunatic so I think everyone kind of knew, but it isn’t every day that a big time celebrity fucks up so badly as to go off on a drunken anti-semetic rant when he works in an industry controlled by Jews. You do have to give him credit though; he put together the little obligatory apology package with the heartfelt apology letter and the photo-ops with old jewish guys. The thing is, and I didn’t do much fact checking, because hey, I’m a blogger, but doesn’t Mel own his own production company, and doesn’t he finance his own movies. Then he puts them out and they’re blockbusters, so he’s kind of set without all the old Hollyweird jewery. Hell, if he didn’t want all the Jews out there to pry open their wallets and pay to see his movies, he probably should’ve just retitled his flicks something like this… ‘Mad Max 3: Fuck The Jews!’

Ted Haggard aka Right Reverend Bati Bwoy
I’m lazy so I’ll just copy & paste a couple excerpts from some article I wrote about dude back when I was doing Flawless Hustle

“So let’s talk about this Reverend Ted Haggard guy. He is a pillar of his commuinity, one of the most influentual people in the Christian Right Evangelical movement, head of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals, leader of the 14,000-member New Life Church, and a personal spiritual advisor of the President. He is a real warrior for god, and a living testement to the ideals of Chistianity. Oh except for the fact that he’s been doing meth and having monthly gay sex romps with a male prostitute”

Don’t worry… it gets better:

“The prostitute, Mike Jones, took a minute out of his busy schedule as a popular Houston rapper, to shed some light on the true face of the Evangelical movement. As the story goes, Jones had been having sex and doing meth with Rev. Haggard on a monthly basis for the last 3 years and had no idea who he was. One day he was flipping through channels and he landed on one of those religious channels where Rev. Haggard was giving an impassioned sermon to a stadium full of inbred hicks faithful worshippers about the evil of homosexuality.

According to the website of his organization, “The Bible says homosexuality is a sin that “brings grave consequences in this life and excludes one from the Kingdom of God.”” This is a view that Rev. Haggard, at least publicly endorses. Mr. Jones couldn’t sit by and watch the hypocrisy, so he exposed the Reverend. At first Rev. Haggard categorically denied all claims, but when Mr. Jones revealed that he had proof in the form of voicemails left by Rev. Haggard, Haggard had no choice but to confess to “some indescretions” ”

These quotes were from an article about Haggard called ‘Flaming Downfall’. This was one of the more interesting stories purely for the reason that it exposed such right-wing Christian hypocrisy. It made you wonder how this guy could have lived with himself for so long being a publicly fervent anti-gay activist, but really a closeted ‘mo on the low.

Jive Turkey Racist Comedian Michael Richards
Ooohwee did this guy mess up. I don’t know if it really counts as a downfall since it’s hard to ruin a career where one no longer existed anymore, but he still effed up. The T.I. controlled media tends to downplay any social injustice suffered by black people in this country – whether it be a N-word laced tirade by a celebrity, inequality of treatment in the criminal justice system (Jena 6), or outright murder of blacks by police officers (Sean Bell, et al.). These stories are never quite as big as they should be, but when Kramer showed his true colors in front of a comedy club full of shocked patrons it was all over the news for a couple weeks.

The funny thing is, despite his apology, he sort of tried to play it off like his comedy act was so deep rooted in his personality (or something) that it took over completely, and when he went off on his tirade he was simply ‘in character’. Note to Kramer: I know Andy Kaufman, I’m related to Andy Kaufman, and you sir are no Andy Kaufman. I don’t believe you, you need more people.

Britney Spears: Washed Up At 25 Yrs Old
She went from being masturbation fodder for millions of middle aged men around the country, to being the subject of derision, ridicule, and pity. By the time she married Federline she was already out of favor with the public. She squeezed out two young’uns while she still had the mind of a 14 year old and that didn’t help public opinion, but we indulged her fleeting interest in playing Mommy. The inevitable messy divorce, and allegations of total parental incompetence and even child abuse were the nail in the coffin. Then, at the worst possible time she started partying with Paris Hilton, getting totally twisteee every night, and showing the world her droopy cooch-sleeves.

She also did some memorably dumb shit like bringing her infant children with her to clubs and keeping them out all night. This bitch can’t afford a baby-sitter? Even the most ghettoest of hoodrats know to get a sitter when they go out clubbing. The bizarre ‘in and out of rehab/head-shaving incident’ was the Krazy Glue acting as back up for the nails in case the coffin lid got loose like Britney’s labia. Her performance at the VMA’s was the 500-ton concrete block poured over the coffin. Pitifully clumsy and amateurish dancing, lip-syncing so bad that it wouldn’t have even won her a spot as a contestant on Lip Service, and I won’t even go in to the fact that she was totally out of shape because thats too easy.

I know it’s cliche, but Britney’s downfall was like watching a horrible car accident in slow motion; it’s grotesque, sad, and disturbing, but you can’t look away for even a second lest you should miss the money shot where the unfortunate passenger’s head hits the windshield and splatters the car with gray matter. Interesting side note: if you google the phrase ‘public downfall’, half the hits on the first page are articles about Britney Spears. Hmmmmm….




Atlanta’s Atomic Dog Michael Vick
I didn’t enjoy watching his downfall, and I felt a kind of way about his trial (and crucifixion) by media. With that said, I love dogs, and my personal feeling is that anyone who intentionally hurts dogs should go to prison. Imagine if we had some sort reciprocosity based system of doling out punishment to criminals. For example, if you kill, you are killed, if you rape you are raped, etc. Would Mike Vick have to fight dogs? Or would he have to fight humans in some sort of Planet of the Dogs gladiator arena? Anyway, on the bright side, it brought the term ‘Rape Stand’ into the public focus, which was good for me since I’m currently in the process of marketing my own line of rape stands, except mine come in Gerbil, Hamster, and Guinea Pig sizes, in addition to the standard dog size, so get at me if you’re having trouble breeding your domesticated rodents.

* Bonus Round * Bonus Round * Bonus Round *

Trapped In The Water Closet Senator Larry Craig
Larry Craig is a Republican senator from Idaho who was recently arrested for soliciting gay sex in a mens bathroom in the Minneapolis airport. He initially pled guilty to disorderly conduct, but now is seeking to withdraw the plea, arguing that he panicked and pled guilty to avoid a public downfall (oops! situations like this are why the term ‘backfire’ exist). I can’t call it; I’m pretty sure the dude is a fruitbasket, because there’s a clear correlation between people in positions that require a hard-line conservative stance on homosexuality, and being closeted gays themselves (Ted Haggard, Catholic Priests – more pedo’s than gay, I know) but at the same time, Craig was arrested for….tapping his foot and moving his luggage? And this is locally known as “a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct”?

I’m not sure that would convince me if I was a juror. I mean if it’s locally known to be a signal then that’s all well and good, but I imagine that his lawyer could make a pretty strong argument for him just having had the misfortune to tap his shoe and move his luggage in an airport where that’s a homosexual mating call. Am I being naive? I don’t know, I don’t know much about Minneapolis anti-lewdness statutes either.

I guess the reason this particular public downfall deserves note, is that instead of accepting his shaming and getting out of the spotlight ASAP (a la Ted Haggard), Senator Craig now wants to withdraw his guilty plea, keeping him, and by proxy the negative association he now has with the Republican Party in the public eye; a move drawing anger from all four corners of the GOP. In 1994 Senator Craig was accused of hitting on a guy in a clothing store. When confronted by the media about the incident, he replied: “I’ve been in this business 27 years in the public eye here. I don’t go around anywhere hitting on men, and by God, if I did, I wouldn’t do it in Boise, Idaho! Jiminy!”

Note to self: Boise Idaho has great potatoes, but cruising for men… Not so much. Jiminy. [||]

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 13th, 2007 at 11:32 pm and is filed under BeYONCE's Hair, Billy Sunday @ XXL, Black Bullshit, Ghetto Celebs, H.A.M., Hollyweird, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Social Upheaval, The Guest Room, Wig Owners. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.