cold as ice

KEYSHIA COLE covers Vibe magazine next month, and HARRIET TUBMAN weeps in heaven. Naked and blonde. There are all kinds of metaphors that float around my head as I look at this cover. The first one is WTF!?! I thought this magazine was helmed by a Black chick? If my memory serves me correctly I think DANYEL SMITH is also a bleached out blonde chick right now so maybe this is a movement.

I make all kinds of jokes about the fact that BeYONCE is the best of both worlds because she is a blonde Black girl with a big booty, but those were actually jokes. You know, sarcasm and shit. I don’t want to see any more Black girls with blonde tresses and I don’t want to see any more white chicks with badonk-a-donks. Not until we have totally dismantled supremacy. Otherwise I want all of this racial misappropriation to cease. If RIHANNA goes blonde our economy will collapse.

My real problem with the Vibe cover isn’t so much that Mrs. COLE is aping MARILYN MONROE, but that she is doing it nekkid. Who co-signs this shit other then white men? I’m tired of Black women being openly marketed as sexual objects. No, really. I don’t want to see a spread of MARY J BLIGE in Playboy. You can best believe that my dream in life would be to see MJB totally nude, but I don’t want anyone other than myself, DIDDY, K-Ci and KENDU to have access to that view.

The biggest issue is that by going blonde KEYSHIA COLE is no longer a Hood Rat Queen, but an American Beauty. There’s some not so subtle propaganda popping off with this cover. Note to all my little blonde Black Girls… Don’t believe the hype.


  1. CeezDiem says:

    “Aping” Marilyn Monroe.

    Was that on purpose?

    I co-sign it all…. except for that shit about not wanting to see anymore white girls with badonkadonks. Sheeeeeit. Pass the binoculars my way then.

  2. Candice says:

    Are they trying to tell us that we are only beautiful and cover worthy when we get implants, show our azz and rock blonde hair?

    F*ck that…..

  3. J. Burnett says:

    I get what you’re saying but I think it’s a bit of a stretch on this one. For me, it’s the opposite. I have no problem with her being naked b/c usually her fashion sense is boo boo and on a serious note, what could be more beautiful than a naked black woman? I think it’s an empowering thing that the black woman’s nana and cooter could used as a tool to sell something. i’m not a fool though. I understand the flipside (assploitation). My thing is what the hell is up with black women and blonde hair??? It’s like B.A.P.S. 2K7 in this beeyotch. I hope the editor in chief isn’t one of those hard body feminism chicks or else this could be considered irreparable damage to her street cred. ambivalent feelings on this one.

  4. The blonde just doesn’t work. Hell, that doesn’t even work on brown haired white girls. Or latinas. Or asians. Pretty much anyone who wasn’t born blonde…I mean how odd does it look when your eyebrows are the color of a dark chocolate bar and you bleached your hair to the point of vanilla pudding hue?

    dammit women, be happy with your natural hair color.

  5. Nigeria says:

    But she’s holding her breasts, naked.

    She looks better blond anyway.

    On a sidenote: in the bottom right hand corner it says, ‘Why you should stop hating on Cuba Gooding JR’. I can’t get Vibe in London – I haven’t really looked – but I really wish somebody does a summary on that piece. I mean, he’s Cuba Gooding JR; star of such classics as ‘Norbit’, ‘Rat Race’, and ‘Boat Trip’.

  6. bfnh says:

    “boat trip” had the classic banana scene. not worth renting, but a quick trip to the googles should yield appropriate results.

    and, as far as black girls and blonde hair — if she’s carrying sweater.gremlins like key key, then i couldn’t care less what color her hair was.

  7. prynsex says:

    I don’t know which is worse.

    The blonde hair or the kool-aid stained Pepe’ Le’ Peu skunk do she rock’d when she made her debut.

    I know one thing…………..SHE STILL HAS A LOOOOOOOONG WAY TO GO.

  8. Tiffany says:

    Definitely some self hatred or something with all this blonde hair and weaves past the behind. No knocking the weaves but aren’t we getting a bit ridiculous with the length? Beyonce’s almost down to her arse now.

    Oh well, check the link…these chicks are about to make us Black females even more famous….

  9. the_dallas says:

    Black womens ill nanas have been used to sell shit since motherfuckers realized whose black hole this whole universe came from. At least Jo Baker didn’t disenfranchise her black hair, but you just don’t hear me though…

  10. Blackwater says:

    you raise a point with this post. I was looking at the pic and it seemed all types of wrong put I really couldn’t place why. I just knew it wasn’t something that I thought was beautiful at all. I felt disrespected by it really but I didn’t know why. And thats from a black man.

  11. Candice says:

    It says American Beauty but VIBE is a black hip hop magazine (I use this description loosely). Is this image of Keyshia supposed to embody Black American Beauty? Self hate is the new chic? Why aren’t our black sisters beautiful enough? Do we have to look like YT porn stars? The hip hop culture stays losing. *sigh*

  12. Sangano says:

    wow…i dont know what any of yall are talking about !!!!


    2) ITS A BLACK MAGAZINE!!! (at least I assume its black owned)


  13. the_dallas says:

    Vibe is an “urban lifestyle” magazine. Please don’t confuse that with being a Black magazine. Ebony, Essence and Black Enterprise are Black magazines whose geenesis and purpose was to present African American images in mainstream press to rival Time/Life, Cosmopolitan and Forbes.

    Vibe was created to siphon and exploit the style of Black Americans into a format that would be acceptable to sell across the country (read:K-Marts). This is why this picture of Keyshia Cole annoys me so much. This is merely an extension of Black exploitation by a media outlet that employs a Black woman as its Editor-in-Chief.

  14. Even Danyel can gets it… but right on. I sure as fuck wouldn’t put a cross-dressing black man on the cover of GQ if I was EIC…

    She actually looks sad to me. Like, “Damn, I really didn’t want to do this, but Mr. Steingoldbergenstein, the T.I.P. (tall israeli publisher) of Vibe told me he’d pay my rent at Atlantic Station for a year. Plus he strokes my coat and scratches me behind my ears. Fuck Africa!!”

    Plus she looks cold. And dry. And obedient. I don’t fuck with this.

  15. eauhellzgnaw says:

    Blonde (or maroon) hair is part of the home uniform of the Hoodrat Queen.

  16. Amadeo says:

    I love how this accompanies an article on why we should stop hating on Cuba Gooding Jr.

  17. Vee says:

    I think Blond Black Girls, says it all.

    Just imagine growing up realizing that you’re not sufficient. Whether it is the texture or color of your hair, you know that something is wrong with the way you look. Unfortunately this story rings true for many people of color on this planet. From the dangerous usage of skin bleachers w/ mercury to cutting off body parts to appear taller.

    These images that we see again and again truly sells ideals, thought patterns and a certain behavior. While some may argue that Lil Kim’s songs and images are empowering women*, just like this photo, I wonder what will they say when they’re precious, straight-A 14 year old is going to school dressed like she’s auditioning for a hip-hop video.
    “After all, there’s nothing wrong with showing a little cheek, you should see my MySpace. Dad, you’re so old-fashioned.”

    Endnote: Unfortunately, some young girls, black or white damage their scalp attempting to go blonde.

    * Empowering women

  18. LM says:

    Great post, Dallas.

  19. Lion XL says:

    The picture isn’t even a GOOD picture, I mean it’s alright but doesn’t really express aything other than being ‘NEKKID’, plus she looks uncomfortable and like she doesn’t want to be there…..

    but enough of that, whats up with ’51 of the best MYSPACE RAPPERS’? Now that warrent’s a real discussion…..

  20. Candice says:

    and no hating on Keyshia. I think she’s a beautiful woman (II). I think she’d be even more beautiful with her own natural hair color and some clothes on…..but hey, whateva pushes those cd’s and mag’s off the racks.

  21. Big Homie says:

    ^ Mmm her with black hair would be interesting. Never seen it. Could be a better look.

  22. Michele says:

    Part of the fun of being a woman is being able to change up your look however you please. If chose to go blond for a time, what’s the harm? Would her being on the cover with red or blue hair be any better? Maybe she just likes blond…

  23. Sangano says:


    “From the dangerous usage of skin bleachers w/ mercury to CUTTING OFF BODY PARTS TO APPEAR TALLER.”???????


  24. Ernie Paniccioli says:

    First Vibe is NOT a Black Magazine, as Dallas noted it is instead a suction cup on the nipple of Black Culture and Danyel (hope she gets hers fronts fixed quickly) is clueless, but arrogant a fucked up mix that might explain the vapid, wish I was somewhere else look on KeySha’s grill. The former (effete, tomming) photo editor of Vibe George Pitts corrected me when I suggested it was a Black Mag.
    As a dope photographer the cover shot is one that would have ended up in my shredder, but since they only hire ass kissers and EuroTrash photographers maybe the photographer had run out of KY Jelly and had a sore ass and a bad attitude the day of the shoot. Ernie (Fuck you if you don’t like it ) Paniccioli

  25. okla-gold says:

    Thanks for making me feel good with my natural colored waist length dreadlocks. A lot of Black women and men don’t understand.

    Peace to you.

  26. GodOfDeath says:

    umm wow…just when i thought America, wait no HUMANITY could not get any more retarted i get this guy. Man i would LOVE some of what ever this guy is smoking, if it makes me this delirious and care-free. Im shocked that the Black Population has not hit you yet. Personaly i dont care if a black chick goes blonde. I mean if that floats her boat then go her. But hell what do i know, im just a black chick.

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