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Peep the new look of JANET JACKSON, er, Def Jam Records.

So the other shoe has finally dropped at the most storied rap record imprint. Jay-Z has been released from his obligations as the de facto president of the label. What this means from the onset is apparently nothing. Jay-Z will continue to record music as an artist of Roc-A-Fella Records which will continue under the distribution umbrella of Def Jam. I just said umbrella. Ella ella ay ay. If that last phrase makes any sense to you then you are officially a RHI-tard.

So where does Def Jam move now? I think they move in the direction that Soulja Boy and the ringtone rappers are creating. More pop music driven rhythms and a younger stable of artists. The people that will suffer immediately will be the Juelz Santanas, the Uncle Murdas and the Rick Ross’ of this label. These artists are going to have to dig into their own pockets in order to create a buzz for their upcoming projects, if they even have upcoming projects. These guys will have to pay for their own videos and promotion. If they weren’t standing on a corner selling drugs before, they will be now.

Nahh, seriously, who the fuck cares about Def Jam anyhoo? Of the fifty acts under the Def Jam banner there are only six that I’m checking for… NaS, Ghostface, KanYe, Redman, Meth and the Roots. This label needs a major overhaul and it will be coming in the form of JANET JACKSON’s Lilliputian wig brusher JERMAINE DUPRI. It makes all the business sense that he would get tabbed by L.A. REID because of their former successes in Atlanta and the fact that DUPRI is a shameless company man that would throw himself under the bus to save his master’s skin. He is the embodiment of a modern day lawn jockey.

I think artists like LL Cool J, Ludacris and possibly Meth and Red will be able to make some movements with the new administration because these artists are popular on other media platforms like television and motion pictures. Shit just got a whole lot harder for Fabolous and as far as I can see, Memphis Bleek and Peedi Crack are washed up. At least Beans and Freeway were able to get their joints out before the fall of Jigga. Memo to Chris and Neef, keep making your bed in your momma’s house because that is where you will be sleeping.

So when does JANET JACKSON bring her robo-ho photoshop ass to Def Jam? Who the fuck cares? It’s a sad day when JANET JACKSON is a retread of BeYONCE’s no-acting ass. I just watched ‘Dreamgirls’ yesterday on HBO and gotdamint if it wasn’t as bad as I knew it would be. Can’t not one of them broads evoke anything real even when they are singing, which was more like they were yelling. I can’t remember a time when there were this many songtresses who lacked the ability to simply sing. I suppose I have music videos and the abundance of visual media to thank for this phenomenon.

Not that PATTI LaBELLE, SARA DASH, NONA HENDRYX, DIONNE WARWICK and DONNA SUMMER weren’t pretty in their own regards, but they certainly weren’t video ho gorgeous and that would have put them in the Lil’ Mo category of great singers with ugly faces. I wouldn’t mind listening to a LaBELLE reunion either. They can even make a music video or two if they wanted. Just use the same Adobe photoshop animator that JANET JACKSON uses.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 26th, 2007 at 10:18 am and is filed under Billy Sunday @ XXL, Black Bullshit, Ghetto Celebs, Hollyweird, Lust = Love, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, When I Reminisce..., Wig Owners. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.