Why do you think that 70% of Black women are single? They wanted it that way. If there aren’t any Black men available for these women isn’t it ultimately the fault of the women who raised the Black men?
Yes, we should also blame the men that DIDN’T help raise these Black men, but what do they care?
Leave it to OPRAH WINFREY to stir up the the cauldron of discontent. OPRAH thinks that there aren’t enough Black men to satisfy the demand. There are tons of Black men though. I’m talking about Black men that work hard and honest.
There are also tons of Black mothers that coddle these dudes so far into adulthood because these mothers don’t want to let go of the one Black man that has needed them throughout their life. That’s right ladies and gemtlemen, Black mothers are currently ruining Black men. Not all Black mothers, just most of them.
These mothers are ruining their daughters as well. So when these daughters become mothers this Oedipal syndrome cycle will persist. Yes, it would be of tremendous benefit if the fathers of these Black children were active in the childraising and nurturing. There are still plenty of mother-father parent units that exist in the Black community.
Somebody needs to stand up and admit that Black women ultimately choose to be single and unmarried because they are horribly selfish. The compromise required for a sustained relationship is not within their grasp. Look at OPRAH herself. She obviously is having her cake and eating it too. She is definitely eating her cake. On a much smaller level than OPRAH Black women are unwilling to compromise their lifestyles.
There are plenty of Black men who are suitable and worthy mates if Black women would just get their shit together.
Firestorm in 5…4…3…2…
*gets popcorn*
I asked some single sisters if there was really a “man shortage” issue and they said that it was more that dudes just don’t know how to act today.
I also think that some sisters are so hard to “trade up” that they just keep looking and looking for that haystack needle. I’m speaking for the DC area at least.
Save some for me, 40.
I dont know why, but this drop made em think of that episode of the simpsons where Bart and Milhouse are jumpin on the bed in drag singin’
“Sisters… are doing it for themselves!!!”
It’s a tough issue. I remain married b/c I love my family and would never do to my 3 boys and daughter what I experienced growing up w/o a father. Had to focibly cut loose from mah dukes right when I came home from school b/cause I knew if I stayed under her roof longer than necessary, I’d start becoming bitch-made. At the same time, I gotta gang of homies that I’ve been running with since the early ’80’s and though these bros got my back through and through, nary one of them can even contemplate the personal sacrifices necessary in building a family with a woman, unless she falls neatly in the non-Black category. Many of my dudes is so cot-damned selfish that whenever we discuss the concept of building a family, what I usually hear is “sheet, ain’t no bitch telling me what the eff time I need to come home”. “Aint no bitch telling me I cant eff wif other broads when I wants some variation.” “I see I’ma hafta put my hands ona bitch just to let her know who runs thangs in my household.” The world has forced us all to become way more selfish than necessary for self-prervation and it’s way past time we stop pointing fingers and start looking to the solution. Niggas on Nostrand don’t help the situation by not bringing up their seeds but when they see my boo with our four kids, are quick to say some b.s. like “Yo, lemme be the father of the 5th one”. On the other hand, I just read that Steadman is coming out with a tell all about Oprah dining at Gayle’s nappy dug-out. Apparently dude proposed to O and she declined so many times, whilst at the same time warning him against dropping any books. Someone finally offered dude the right amount of $. Not mad at him.
Peoples, we got to work this shit out. As cliché as it may sound, “if we’re not part of the solution, we’re part of the problem”. Believe me, I have gained mad wealth physically, financially and spiritually by getting my wife off the streets and by raising my four kids. And this aint coming from no church going gay ass congregation follower either. Family is everything.
Oh My Stars and Garters. D.P. is my Hero…share the popcorn ya’ll.
^Combat:: Yo, lemme be the father of the 5th one
I never heard that craziness, sounds funny and sad.
Other thing about these shows is that they never tend to give you the variables that determine that stats.
What time period? 2007 or 2003?
Have the numbers been going up or down in the past decade?
What social factors affect the numbers?
Are we talking about black women between the age of 18 – 35 or 20 – 40?
What does the number look like amongst other ethnic groups? And is there a decline or increase over the years?
Is there an issue of single women else where in the world? You better believe it. And didn’t the NYTimes have an article celebrating the fact that many women were happily living the single life a little while back?
What happened to the women out there that want to take control of their sexual lives and forgo a meaningful relationship. Did Oprah discuss the empowered women who love Sex and the City lifestyle?
With the increasing strides being made, how does some of the antiquated marital laws affect some men decision to get married? Knowing what I know about the settlement cases for Johnny Carson, Michael Jordan, Steven Spielberg, Michael Strahan and many other rich men who’s assets have been liberally given away by a judge, I probably wouldn’t marry at all. Can you fathom half? Custody, visitation rights? Does a father have rights in a family court? Or does he have to prove his worth?
I really could go on, but I basically smell basura.
Aye Combat Jack, Im right with you fam. But most of the dudes who talk like what your saying are lonely and just jealous of your family. Cause a real friend wouldnt even be talking all crazy like that around you knowing that your a family man
For every generation that has passed, our men have gotten weaker as the women have been forced to accept more and more responsibility. Sure, we can stand here and blame the 70% single black women for the downfall of the black community and the coddling of black men in general but when are you brothers going to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for your own actions?
Lets throw out some questions:
How many of you reading this still live with your parents? How many of you have criminal records? How many of you have kids that you don’t support (and I am talking about spending time with them. I won’t even go there with the monetary support cause that’s a whole different issue.)
How many of you have careers? How many of you have two women that think you’re their only man right now? How many of you are dating a woman who doesn’t know you are ghey? How many of you are driving cars that some woman pays the note on lives with a woman and you allow her to pay the rent or mortgage? How many of you think it’s okay to hit your woman? How many of you have good credit? How many of you have investments and savings? Own property? How many of you are single and really use condoms?
I’m not saying that all black women are on point (cause we are NOT)but I’m guessing every black woman can say she’s encountered a black man with several of these very issues. Dating is not an easy proposition on either side of the coin. I am betting sit’s easier for a black man to find a dateable sister than vice versa.
And trust, if a black woman gets pregnant….most times, she can’t run. So she learns to bear the burden of being a mother and a father to her kids.
I am a happily married black woman with two wonderful sons. I come from a dysfunctional household where my father abandoned my mom when he found out she was pregnant with me. She eventually married my stepfather and I had a brother. My step father cheated on her constantly and tried to sexually abuse me when I was 17. Needless to say, he was expunged from our lives. My single mother kept food on the table, fought off eviction notice after eviction notice and kept our asses in school. She raised two kids in Brooklyn and neither of us ended up a statistic.
My brother? Still lives at home but what can you do? He can’t afford NY rent on his salary. He works and helps her to pay the bills. He buys groceries and fixes stuff for her. He drives her around when she needs to go to Costco. Is it coddling or is he a hard working brother who is saving money and trying to catch a break in the big city?
Ask the black women in your lives to tell you their stories. Trust me, most of us have one. There’s a reason many stay single. No doubt…..but ask yourself what part YOU play in the equation. And I doubt the majority are trying to live the sex in the city fantasy.
Co-sign Candice. No feminist.com/ Betty Friedman.
well said Candice.
Those two look like the HAM Ikari Warriors.
On a random and unrelated note… just got a sweet gift in the mail… good looks on the key chain… much appreciated and a nice surprise.
Those two look like the HAM Ikari Warriors
^You ain’t lying!
shit DP. Props on being on that Top 40 urban blogs list.
http://www.wooohah.com/2008/05/the-top-40-urba.html
oh and I’ma have something for you soon. Unfortunately between work and feeding the fam, e-mail and side hustles have been put on standby.
I believe the real reason so many women are single is because they blame every brother they meet in the present for things that another brother did to them in the past.
Most of the time when a black women mets a GOOD MAN, instead of trying to BUILD with the brother, she ends up running the brother away.
On the real, Some women have been done wrong so many times that by the time a real man comes around they don’t really know how to treat him. And sadly that man usually ends up catching HELL.
It shouldn’t matter what a previous boyfriend/husband has done, the new fellow in a woman’s life should get the benefit of the doubt. He should start off with a clean slate.
I don’t think I have to tell any of the dudes reading this that it almost never works like that. These women walking around here with a chip on there shoulder, I call it the Mary J Blige/KC syndrome. I know that you have to keep your guard up, but damn.
And another thing, just because you’ve been hurt in the past doesn’t mean that there’s a shortage of black men. You just have to keep looking. Nobody’s asking these women to settle, they shouldn’t have to. But you have to understand that there are no perfect men out here. You just have to find someone on your level. By that I mean someone that you are compatiable with in most areas and in the areas that you aren’t there has to be some compromise.
And one more thing, what about the shortage of black women. There are two sides to this topic
Fatboy…I agree that most black women are carrying around a whole lot of baggage and they do need to not always have that chip on their shoulders. True indeed, there are still many good black men out there and like I said…many sisters don’t have their shyt together.
However, I’m intrigued by this line:
“Some women have been done wrong so many times that by the time a real man comes around they don’t really know how to treat him.”
For real, if a dog gets kicked by every new owner it’s had…..eventually, it’s gonna be bearing teeth and snarling when the next potential owner steps up. Bitches are not always born….they are bred.
Clearly, black relationships and the black family need a hell of a lot of work.
For real, my son’s Kindergarten class won’t be making Father’s Day cards this year because most of the kids don’t have Daddy’s. It traumatizes the kids. My husband is losing with the Philadelphia school system. BLACK PEOPLE…we have to grow up and do better.
I was ‘Some white guy’, but that name was ghey…I wasn’t really excited about seeing a bunch of angry comments and shit, I just sort of couldn’t believe DP wrote this and didn’t hold anything back.
Anyway, it’s kind of an old line. MOYNIHAN (you like that?) put together this paper in the ’60s that basically said that the legacy of slavery/Jim Crow/etc. weakened black men so much that black women had assumed the alpha role in a lot of families/communities. I haven’t read the report, just some summaries of it, but it’s pretty notorious and, a lot of people argued, racist. Apprently one subtext was that black women had become so domineering that you couldn’t really blame black men for not wanting to live with them.
Dunno though, this might be one of those things where your own personal experience might not be that reliable (fwiw I have none beyond dating a black woman for a few years). For example, I think in Baltimore something like just over 50% of black men in their 20s are involved in the criminal justice system in some way – prison, jail, parole, etc. That’s fucked up, and a lot of people bare some blame, but it’s reality in a lot of cities, and it probably has a lot to do with black women being wary, choosy, and all that.
Anyway, props for some decent discussion and no nasty outbursts and shit. That’s why I keep comin back…
On a related note, I read an article in Time or Newsweek about split families a ways back (I want to say March). Basically, out of all the races, if the father doesn’t live in the household, he’s more likely to have an active role in the childs life if he is black or brown that if he is white. Wish I could remember details for yall, but I’m going from memory right now.
From my experience, having grown up raised by two women (my mother and older sister) without my father around, I don’t know if it’s always best to have that bum around. I didn’t really get to know my father until I had figured out how to be a man on my own (I’ll admit not having a man around growing up doesn’t make it easy, but I can’t say I’m on the same page as some of yall cats tossing around terms like bitchmade) and once I did, I was relieved he didn’t have a hand in molding me into the man I have become. That’s me though, and I don’t take my situation for granted. The vastly different outlooks I, my brother and two sisters have on life despite being brought up in the same home has shown me nobody can speak for another’s experience.
As for the Brother shortage, Maaaaaaan. I don’t know what the hell’s going on with that one. I can only guess, but black woman in their 30’s love my Puerto Rican-ass. Any older sisters got an explanation on that one?
daaaaaaaaaaamn…. ima comment on the drop at hand. but i just wanna look at dem cheeks right now.
I do think some things need to be mentioned. I hate when people throw out numbers because alot of them are jive…and I work in a numbers/people field.
How many of those single women want to be single? Alot of people ain’t pressed about settling down.
Alot of brothers just ain’t in a position to give anything to a family much less try to build one.
Something someone else mentioned to me. Jobs. Look at places that had an industry that employed a lot of people and those industries shut down…around that time the number of fathers in the home dropped…divorces start increasing and people remain single. Dudes really won’t stay (or be allowed to stay) if they can’t (or feel they can’t)contribute.
Last alot of women (and society in general) have either outdated, very modern or specifically individualize notions of what a man is. In the 60’s you could say: a man is A, B, C and people woudl agree. Ask that question now and you’ll get alot of different answers. The thing is we’re like the experimental group…but what you see in us soon spreads around. How many white women are single? How many white men aren’t in the home with their kids?
No simple answers…but I know this…people say numbers don’t lie…but all the numbers come from people.
Truth to most of that, was trying to figure out how to work it into my post but AMADEO said it best.
I think a lot of those DOC numbers are (sadly) pretty accurate tho…
“and I work in a numbers/people field.”
…so do I.
…I wonder if we’re in the same field? It’s rare I find somebody that has studied and concentrated/worked in my same field…
normally I get funny looks when I say what it is.
Candice,
You are one of my very best friends in this bloggy world and I will def address some of the questions you proffered in my upcoming drops leading up to Father’s Day.
Today though, I ask women to 1) admit that they are single BY CHOICE (and not with the caveat that they are waiting for someone else to plant their garden), and 2) get your effin’ minds right ladies.
How can these new milllenium sistas be so damned educated but still can’t see the forest for the trees? There is a war going on called supremacy and Black males have been cannon fodder from day one. But all Black folks need to throw off the yoke of victimization. This starts with sistas ending that woe is me, I can’t find love shit. Even if one of you broads gets a Grammy and an Oscar for singing(poorly) the victimized woman’s anthem, y’all bitches need to say “Eff you!”.
Brothers gonna work it out. We got a a whole ‘nother set of issues.
I’m a young buck and have a lot of living to do. In my years I’ve been fortunate to be raised by my parents and I can’t really relate to the single parent shit people talk about.
I know for one thing: marriage isn’t for me. Its not because of my age, its because of that single parent shit I can’t comprehend. A lot of guys view chicks in a certain light that is due to their upbringing and I can’t afford to risk being gassed into a marriage and squeezing out crumb snatchers to only get divorced after 3-11yrs of marriage. I go into a person with the momentium to never give up on them no matter how shit gets tough. Granted I’m a son of a bitch, but that’s what I believe in at the end of the day. That’s what I know thanks to my parents. I haven’t met anyone like that yet (even if we are not romantically involved).
Thats truth about women not knowing how to treat a man because they’ve been kicked and screwed so much. Instead of being an ABW (angry black woman), I take that energy and work on myself the best way I can. To get my shit together. Niggas broke my heart a few times but at the end of the day I have a choice to grow from that.
It didn’t take 100 penises and an abortion to learn that either (unlike ALLLLL the chicks I know…seriously).
And there are good guys out there. The only way women can see it is if they mentally, spritually, physically take the time to love themselves and mend themselves into a bigger and stronger person. To me even though the numbers reflect a fucked up community within “our people” it starts within. And it starts with people who can see the bigger picture dispite how fucked things can be. And you have to be a bigger & stronger person to do that.
I have more to say, but my youngin ass should stfu and let the grown folks politick.
^Candice raised a lot of real points. Excellent comment, I’m going to pass that around to some young brothers that I know.
There are many reasons why some women are single and vice versa.
Everybody’s experiences are very different. I wouldn’t even go there and assume why they’re single. Just like Mo, some people either choose to be single, and can be possibly turned off by the marriage-divorce prospect that affects everybody, not just black women. (Possibly the black community at a disproportionate rate, who knows.)
Take a second to think about how the information is presented. Amadeo obviously also knows the numbers game. Oprah is smart enough to understand what she IS saying and what she IS NOT saying.
Edit: There are many reasons why women and men are single.
But I wouldn’t indict either gender. I’m almost surprised that Oprah presented the issue like that, but I forgot that’s the media for you. The mass media rarely advocate family centered values.
As the married friend, I get calls nonstop from my girls asking me how I found my hubby.
I don’t know why they think I did something different. All I did was meet him and give him a chance. Sure, he lived with his mama, he had bad credit but what I saw was a funny man. He made me laugh. He treated me with respect. He had ambition. He was a hard worker. He’s honest to a fault. He loved his family. Ladies…..there’s more to it than what car he’s driving and how much money he’s spending.
No matter what happened to me in my life…..I was raised to love my black men. I never had a mom tell me that my dad “wasn’t shyt”. She always gave him respect and I always believed in him. It’s the reason we were able to reconnect in the last decade and develop a relationship.
So when I say that ladies have our own issues….we certainly do. Like Mr. Penn says….Get your minds right.
Oh yeah, don’t forget that there’s always “Something New” to consider.
two sides of the coin…very well put comments and it really depends on your background/upbringing…i have a great strory to tell, but simply put…i “settled” for a brotha with “potential” i gambled big and lost…partly to my selfishness also. Now I have 2 sons and a daughter who are watching and i must say…i am starting to wonder what i will do when they are gone…the countdown is 5 years…i will be happy for my “freedom/space” but when i look at what’s out there as far as the dating/mating pool….puleez! i’d rather rinse my eyes out with alcohol and brush my teeth with a cactus plant. just consider me done, dead & ovah! as far as that aspect of life…otherwise like mary…i’m just fine!
@Ambassador
I’m in Human services, but most of my career has been under Dept. of Labor contracts…basically creating numbers for people with a lot more money than me to cite (and take credit for). I understand the goals they set…and what they do to improve numbers when they don’t look good. One example I may have mentioned here before…the unemployment rate is ALWAYS higher then what’s cited. So if they say it’s bad…it’s really god awful.
I can only talk about my personal experiences, but I’ll never love any woman evar. Whether black women are on their high horse or not, I couldn’t care less. I wonder if other bros feel the same way.
Love never lasts forever. People die and get tired of each other. Trying to find that special someone is like chasing an illusion. People want to live a fairytale.
Everyone wants to be an exception to reality. “My hubby” or “my wife” or “my girl” or “my relationship” isn’t like that. Bollocks, bullshit. Unless you can do some magical shit like live forever, there are no exceptions.
Finding someone is a purely selfish endeavor. People are selfish creatures. We all choose what pleases us and not what pleases others. I choose women that do whatever I say.
negrodamus predocicted this would happen….
Man DP, you done kicked up some shit.. I know you love your girl too, as evidenced by the way you big her up in drops. (exalt her in your posts, for the blog-deficient..).. But I don’t think you two are married, and marriage is really some shit, as far as I can see it (1.5 years in).
Let’s just go list style:
1. From a broken home: Divorced parents that got married cuz I was a’comin back in 78.. Or maybe right after I came.
2. Mom’s fell off big time in “parenting” early on, mainly due to her care-free nature and of course, alcoholism.
3. Pops stepped up in a big way, always providing for me, even though he didn’t really have shit… (Gardner for the city before the messicans took all the creative landscaping jobs, now a truck driver). But pops was undertaken by a helluva crack addiction.. Hey, there’s a reason they called it Cokeland (c) Todd Shaw
4. Kinda co-raised by a village of aunts, uncles and grandmothers, especially during the times that both parents were having down-times with the respective chemical dependencies.
5. Ended up turning out alright, finished up public school w/ AP courses, refused to let the asians prove me dump. Got a full academic scholly to a top HBCU.
6. Met the futue wifey freshman year, at the school across the street (on some diff’t world/ boyz n the hood shit).
7. Impregnated the wifey during a return trip to the college city in 06.
8. Knew we were combustible like kerosene and a match, but “manned up” and asked her to marry me. (really driven by how appreciative I was that my dad has always tried to be there for me in life).
9. 1.5 years in, and I can logically and unemotionally tell myself that this will likely end in divorce, somewhere b/w 1.5 and 11.5 years in, to jack my man above..
10. Love my lil ninja TO DEATH though. Love family time, love sharing his growth, and generally watching him discover the world…
11. Currently conflicted as fuck. We argue erry night over money, bills, credit, priorities, respect, gender roles, child raising theory, etc….
I’m not at all saying I’m a model man. I’m def’ly undershooting my “potential”, but I feel damn proud about my good paying corp gig, and I know that I keep my family taken care of. The friction that exists in the household boils down to a few things that have been noted above:
– our resepctive experiences (absent dad on her end, not on mine, etc..)
– she’s from a family of strong (read: alone) women
However, and I’m not very religous, but at some point, (and call BS If I’m wrong on this Candice and Co.) a woman has to respect her man. Period. That which spoke to me the most was the following (and I’ll be reading the full Moynihan piece today on the train):
>>”Apprently one subtext was that black women had become so domineering that you couldn’t really blame black men for not wanting to live with them.”
^ “Finding someone is a purely selfish endeavor. People are selfish creatures. We all choose what pleases us and not what pleases others. I choose women that do whatever I say.”
Dayum.
True, we are a selfish species, but what I’ve found in most successful relationships as well as in mine is that a lasting relationship teaches one to become less selfish, more selfless. Not easy, but well worth the effort. That’s why a lotta relationships fail, when the magic is over and that hard body, 24/7 construction work with no boots on a Sunday effort kicks in, mad cats and chicks fall, fall, fall by the way side. A choice true, but that shit is only built for cuban linx.
I’ve been married twice, my first mariiage was a big waste of life, and must thank jah that I am not presently incarcerated. Even I though I am against striking women, that bitch had me channeling Ike!…
Now. my second wife has led a pretty rough life, abuse, cheating, etc. We started out as freinds and grew into our relationship. Every now and again I need to snap her back to reality and realize I am not that dude, Im in it for us. I give as much as I HAVE or as much as I CAN. That being said, when I say something is a NO, it usually for a good reason. There is no reason to go off and try and make it happen yourself. But when your used to fending for yourself sometimes you forget. This is the only issue between us, and we work it out mostly.
That was to say that many women(men too) live in survival mode, and I’ve live in survival mode, its hard to put behind you. Some women have to work harder to put that behind them (men too) and not keep bringing back to the table cuz it wont help and you wont progress.
CJ, I see (and have been seeing) you putting a personal stamp of approval on marriage and riding it out with the family!
All opinions are respected and appreciated!
I love this blog. Grown-ups talking like grown-ups about grown-up shit.
From what I can gather in the comment thread, I’m apparently in the minority coming from a two-parent, fairly stable home environment where neither parent was abusive or lacking in a fundamental way. Don’t get me wrong, there were/are some big problems — a lot of which don’t get spoken about — and my experience may or may not be the norm — I don’t know, I think American culture values dysfunctional families more than not, esp if they’re black and brown, so that’s what we hear about — but I can say that what separated the good men from the bad in my dating history was a caring parent at home. Two parents, all the better. A positive brother, a good man, invariably was the result of Mom or Dad (or both) conveying to their son that supporting a family is about more than just bringing home a paycheck, that its about feeding their mind and their emotions; that a family – however you construe it — is about supporting, allowing, even pushing, someone to be the best that they can be as a human being, regardless of their circumstances. It’s like that saying about character — it’s what you do when no one is looking that counts. Ditto for relationships. If you’ve been treated poorly, then you’re more likely to treat others poorly, or learn on their dime, which is tough position to be in for the other person. And given the oft acknowledged and discussed poverty of culture and values in the popular landscape, is it any surprise that both men and women are pointing the finger at the other side?
As a woman, I readily admit to being tired of, for example, having to assert that it’s not okay to talk to me dismissively just because I’m a woman. And I’m sure the men I’ve had to assert that to didnot like hearing it so much. But they didn’t stop and neither did I, until I figured out if they weren’t going to change I had to. So, I did. And I stopped dating men that don’t value my input and opinion or who feel threated by my abilities. I don’t mean, btw, running the show. I understand that in order to receive respect you must give it as well and I’m not interested in a yes-man. I value my man’s input and opinion in all things — whether or not we agree — and I expect that he’ll listen to me the same way I listen to him. Unfortunately, there are some folks — men and women — for whom just listening or having a conversation, is a threat.
When are we going to realize that being the best of who we are, and elevating each other, only makes everything better. Not worse. Everyone wins. And blaming women exclusively is not only inaccurate but unfair. It makes you guilty of doing the very thing you condemn Oprah for doing. I don’t think she’s right, but I don’t think the response is right either.
The best way to be a man, to be a woman, is to be a human being and treat your partner the way you’d like to be treated — with consideration, respect, affection and yes, even humility. It makes me sad to read that collectively we’ve fallen so low that only a narrow self interest guides our personal development. If that was the case then as a species, we’d have been wiped out a long time ago.
^”CJ, I see (and have been seeing) you putting a personal stamp of approval on marriage and riding it out with the family!
All opinions are respected and appreciated!”
Truth be told my dude, me and Mrs. CJ been ridin’ for 11 solid joints. Now TRUST, we hit that point a few times where we almost didnt make it. Fortunately, her pops was always there for us. He and his wife hit that point as well, but came out on top, so we always had them, me personally him, as a guidepost as to how to ride through the storms. Now that my papers is really starting to come in in a more steady and grown man like fashion, there’s nobody else I’d rather trick our $$$ on than wifey. She seen me butt ass broke wit no ac on many a scorched BK summer day. Sheet, when my ass was down and ready to smoke the pistol, she was the only one could talk me off the ledge.
PLUS….
It does help that after 4 kids and dealing wit my trifling ass, she still is one’a the BADDEST chicks I ever laid eyes on in the game. For real, a grown man knows when he wifed up the RIGHT one.
To quote the Big Homie:
“But if my chick leave me she gon’ leave me for something
She gon’ leave me cause Halle, she ain’t gon’ leave me for nothing
Picture me gettin up with something sleazy
Something, something, so easy
You could take out of speed like nut in something
Soon as you finish cuttin’, you like, “leave me please”
Not me, I need Angelina Jolizeey comfy
So I ain’t gon’ make a move unless I got a Plan B
That’ll happen the day I have a baby by Free
Not to say that anything is wrong with Free
Just to say that ain’t nothing wrong with me
If my hand’s in the cookie jar, know one thing
I’ma take the cookie, not leave my ring”
Drama, et al,
I don’t know who amongst you was able to grasp this drop from the gate.
Black women must collectively state that they are single BY CHOICE! Not because the boogieman scared them and not because they are waiting for someone else to appear like magic. That is stock bullshit and what it does is perpetuate the cycle of victimization that all Black people have internalized to some degree.
Plant your own garden bitches. Let that hard work and sacrifice be the yardstick that you measure all people by. Hard work doesn’t give a shit about class or money. It only recognizes hard work. This is how relationships endure.
BTW Candice,
The name is Sunday, William Havier Sunday.
@ Amadeo –
Well, I’m about done with a Geography degree…not quite Human Services. Deals a lot with stats, people, and stats relating to people though. Think demographics and what not. Census bureau. So close…but I guess it’s not the same. *sigh*
I was hoping I had found a Geography major that didn’t spend all their spare time listening to folk-ish rock and going camping in the mountains. I seem to be the only one not fitting that norm.
To all the BLACK women who think there is a shortage of good, Black men out there I have this one simple message:
YOU ARE A MORON, AND YOU DESERVE TO LIVE ALONE IN A HOUSE FULL OF CATS.
I swear to Sweet Zombie Jesus it’s a pain in my ass when some black women start bitching and moaning about the supposed deficit in black men.
If any man said ALL black women are bitches, women would hang him on a hook by his balls.
Most of the assholes some black women cry over are in their lives because they allow them to be there. They just put the blame on the jerk in their lives because it’s easier for them to do that than put them blame where it really belongs: on themselves for using poor judgement. When Black women start exercising better judgement in finding a mate, that good man will show up quick fast in a hurry.
Lastly, this pisses me off because it’s insulting. I work hard and I love my family. I know a whole bunch of brothers just like me and nothing is more irrtating than some black chick shitting on the majority of brothers just because she caught her man fucking her sister. How’s that our fault?
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