Dr. BILLY SUNDAY Explains That Crap Music Is For Retahds (Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em ReMix)

your brain on snap

This is a picture of the brain of someone listening to popular rap music. As you can see the cerebellum is malformed and there is also a black arrow taped to the medulla oblongata. However, the clearest sign that popular rap music makes a person brainless is the fact that this brain is no longer on the inside of a skull…

When I said that rap music was making you dumber it seems to have touched a nerve among some of the readers at this site, to which an incredible amount of inane and ridiculous comments have followed up the original post. I won’t spend time refuting the naysayers individually because I realize that I may be talking too much. Instead I will be concise and succinct in my explaination so that anyone who chooses to comment will have clear examples to compare.

1) Popular crap music is no longer art, but disposable commercial bullshiite.

Art has a contextual relevance and a permenance as a cultural marker. Art will indicate the watermark that the culture that created it exists in. It reveals what you know about your universe and what you value inside of that knowledge. It tells other stories as well. Are you a heroic people, or simply brainless cowards? Do you seek challenges or simply the lowest common denominator, the status quo.

Art is on some deep shit like that and all of you neggars need to recognize. If your art is afraid to challenge you to think then by default it makes you a coward, and a dummy. I said that popular crap music was for retahds, but there are some retahds that are fucking hardbody. They might be as dumb as the hyphy song, but they ain’t taking shit from nobody. Those are the retahds that are too smart even to listen to ‘Snap’ music.

snap music

EXHIBIT 1 is a simple piece of art. We all get it. You pat the person that created it atop the head and you hang it on the ‘frige with a magnet until it gets yellow and hopefully the artist grows up and develops the cognitive motor skills to create more complex imagery. The only person keeping this crap would be the woman that birthed this retahd. Women are programmed to be like this and that is why so many enjoy the misogyny of popular crap music even though it leads to physical abuse and rapes.

underground hip-hop

EXHIBIT 2 is a more complex piece of art. It plays with color and texture brilliantly. Just like EXHIBIT 1, this sample describes something that we imagine to be real, but the abundance of carefully precise details makes that representation more factual and substantial. If you were walking down the street and you saw both EXHIBIT 1 and EXHIBIT 2 in framed glass and you could take one home with you which one would it be? Can we all agree right now that you would have to be retahded if you chose EXHIBIT 1?

What is happening right now in popular culture is that the streets are littered with EXHIBIT 1‘s and the people desire a piece of art to admire so badly they are picking them up. I blame the T.I.’s for what they are doing to all the LITTLE JOHNNYs of the world.

little johnny LITTLE JOHNNY had taken to listening to crap music by FIFTY CENT, YOUNG JEEZY and JAY-Z. Here he is pictured on his way to the Summer Booty Fest 2003 concert. The highlight of the show was when NELLY poured a gallon of warm carmelized candy apple syrup on the behind of anyone who wanted a free pair of his ‘Apple Bottom’ brand jeans. LITTLE JOHNNY has a pair.

little johnny

We remember when LITTLE JOHNNY listened to The Poor Righteous Teachers and KRS-One. The T.I.’s thought that he might develop into a Black Nationalist, or worse, a communist so that’s when they began to conspire to bring a less complex and diverse texture into the playlists of commercial radio stations.


little johnny Today LITTLE JOHNNY enjoys listening to our old cassettes of Air Supply and DAN FOGELBERG while he becomes a productive member of the community.

Note to readers: WILLIAM H. SUNDAY is a high school dropout and is not a licensed general medical practitioner in any state or county.

8 Responses to “Dr. BILLY SUNDAY Explains That Crap Music Is For Retahds (Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em ReMix)”

  1. 40 says:

    If you slap some hipster artist name to Exhibit 1, it would sell for way more. And if you put in on a limited run Dunk, or let Nigo get a hold of it, now we’re talking the BIG BUCKS.

    Killface-Taqu’il in 2008!

  2. what if you use ring tone rap and put political ideas in it ?

    Everybody check out my video

    Party With Barack

    by clicking my name

  3. Liam says:

    Exhibit 1 is easily reproducible and easily copied. But wtf is that red thing in the picture? Blood? A Snake?

  4. coqui says:

    Damn, last two posts had me surfing the site a bit. can we get a re-up of this one Billy?

    http://dallaspenn.com/weblog/?p=106

  5. Cah'Stanza says:

    If hip-hop/rap stay in the same direction, fuck ’round it’s gon end up being the down syndrome of the MUSIC game period. Word to Lil Johnny or as ghey as this:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/22/theater/22solo.html

  6. uubb says:

    i don’t blame the artist, their only trying to eat and live life to the fullest. Blame the fans for loving the music and of course purchasing the cds. If i was an artist i would give up my true rap skills make the stupid songs that people want and when ready start making real tracks again under my label. Eminem did it, Jay-Z did it. Its possible but all you really need is your step in the door first, and lets face it people will not listen to u if u talk about the real shit first.

    http://www.urbanmagnitude.com/

  7. CHARLIE X says:

    how did little johnny’s brain escape from the frying pan it was in when he was doing drugs. it just needed a side of bacon and a bloody mary to form the perfect breakfast – damn mobile brain

  8. can argue with that folk

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