HELLO DOLLY!

dolly parton

The Gulf states are shaking in their boots again because a serious storm teeters off the coast. I’m not believing the hype since this hurricane is named Dolly.

Dolly is a white chick name. White chicks bark is always worse than their bite. Peep how CYNTHIA RODRIGUEZ was talking all that divorce shit until Gay-ROD [ll] put a few more zeros on the right side of her checking account. Same as CHRISTIE BRINKLEY. She got mad paid from her husband, but did she get all LORENA BOBBIT style on his manhood? Nahh, because white chicks get the money.

Black chicks come through to tear the house up. Just look at Hurricane Starrkeysha. Wild amounts of dead people along with billions of dollars in property damage. As soon as you see a Black chick unzip her weave, remove her earrings and put vaseline on her face you need to get your ass outta Dodge. At that point she don’t care who gets fucked the fuck up, but someone is catching a bad one. If this next hurricane was named Shaniqua then you already know shit would be getting hectic.

**Non-Sequitur**
Everybody know that Fisty Scent’s baby moms burnt down that crib. I’ve watched enough ‘Law & Order’ episodes with C.S. to be able to put this shit together real easy. Fisty Scent had a court order for homegirl to vacate the premises. A court order can be executed by sheriffs so Fisty wouldn’t even have to get his hands dirty. Shaniqua prA’li started the whole damn thing by throwing that nigga’s platinum plaques into the fireplace. If any of you ever made a campfire you would know how that shit gets good to you. Shaniqua was combing the house looking for other shit to burn like Fisty’s crappy G-Unit sneakers and t-shirts. One of those flaming embers must have touched the ‘We On Fire Tonite’ G-Unit curtains and the rest is history.

This is my point though. A hurricane named Dolly will not burn down your house like an angry Black bitch with a face smeared with petroleum jelly will. You might have a broken window or two and some paint scratches on your car, but after you kick up a few bucks your shit will be back on the road.

*My second non-sequitur advice for the day is DO NOT get the tittays augmented. C-cups are actually more than we need. I personally prefer a B-cup and nipples the size of golf balls. If you really want to fuck around with your tittays have your surgeon implant two-thousand more nerve endings on the areola. I love that long hair that grows on the areola. I try to bite it. Then I tries to lick it. I uses it to floss with. Then I kisses it.

dolly parton

17 Responses to “HELLO DOLLY!”

  1. Enigmatik says:

    C-cups are actually more than we need.

    I do not co-sign this statement…D’s are wassup.

  2. Candice says:

    Trust…if I start taking off earrings and jewelry….someone is getting their azz beat. I co-sign.

  3. LM says:

    If you didn’t already know…

  4. 40 says:

    Just because your hands are limited in size and span does not mean us gorilla mitted ninjas need to suffer at the hands of a smaller mammary decree…

    Loves some D’s on a b*tch..

  5. My hands aren’t limited it’s just that I go in for making a woman have an orgasm.

    I guess you like the big tittays because you want your broads to have back spasms.

    Shit is wasteful above a B-cup.

    Like walking around with a Super Big Gulp in your hand.

    Niggas do not need that much sody pop.

  6. hahahaha.
    oh man.

    My main argument against humongous titties – just wait til you’re 60, if you’re (un)fortunate to make it that long. Imagine the saggage!

  7. Marvelous Mo says:

    Dallas,

    that last paragraph was rotund. I would prefer to be a full C Cup if i had my way. B’s dont really fill out an outfit!

  8. 40 says:

    “Niggas do not need that much sody pop.”

    Comedy…

    Touche’ Dallas..

  9. Enigmatik says:

    I guess you like the big tittays because you want your broads to have back spasms.

    Shit is wasteful above a B-cup.

    Niggas do not need that much sody pop.

    It ain’t about a need at this point. D-Cup Tatties are what’s hot in the streets, son.

  10. LM says:

    Size doesn’t matter. But augmentation tends to look nasty to me.

  11. the_dallas says:

    If you love big tittays or you want big tittays do like my homey jadakiss and “knock ya’self out”.

    For my steez I like big ass areolas. Like imagine how hot shit would be if a chick’s whole complexion was an areola?

    You could blow softly on her forearm and she would get moist. Areola’s are the fucking truth.

    Too many times people get all sick with tittay size without respecting the simple act of licking around the nipple.

  12. ^Word! DP has realistic taste in milkbags. What a concept.

  13. migrantworker says:

    yeah when they get too big, frequently tits start losing their structural integrity. more simply put, when she lays on her back her tits will sprint to her armpits or go all fried egg on you.

    c-cups + nice nips + helipad areola = a month of Sundays

  14. Enigmatik says:

    Areola’s are the fucking truth.

    Finally something we can agree on.

  15. I never had any idea that so many guys were into large areolas. I am thoroughly fascinated.

    lmao @ fried egg tho, migrantworker. Fuckin’ spot on description.

  16. R. Diddy says:

    Speaking of Fisty and CSI wouldnt that be a dope ass subplot if we somehow found out (Cr)Young Buck blow torched the living apes out of Fisty’s Krib? That’ll raise the diddy bitchassness alert to red…

    Titties is whatever…a fat ass on the woman is whereitat…close

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