The fantasy that I had about blue collar workers getting their life affirming kudos has finally been burst. The transit workers have decided to go back to work without a contract and I can’t totally blame them because if I go more than a week without my digit, it’s time for me to take out the old ski mask (and my fat azz can’t run like I did when I was eighteen).
What I have gleaned from this non-event is that there is no shortage of robberbarons, crooks and fools managing this city. They are complicit with the corporations and buisnessmen that fund their campaigns. In the end it will be the transit workers, the sanitation workers, the teachers, the police, the firefighters and the balance of civil servants that keep this city running to make sure that the center holds.
I made a quick reference guide for anyone who is interested in learning who the players were in this latest municipal debacle…
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ROGER TOUISSANT The biggest problem with the TWU president is that he has a French surname and he speaks with a British accent. The whole “schwarze in the fancy schmatte” routine was already done by that wannabe Semitic supremacist, whatshisname, so I won’t really go there, but c’mon party people admit it, he didn’t do an adequate job of preparing his membership for this contingency. The MTA was founded by mega rich billionaires (that’s billions in 1901 money too) who don’t take kindly to threats from the hired help. You can’t challenge billionaires to share their money. You challenge billionaires on their humanity and their credibility. The TWU president could have used a campaign strategist. Too bad KARL ROVE is a Sith officer. ROVE has the guile for publicly charged emotional campaigns. Oh, and yeah, did I mention that TOUISSANT is Black! |
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PETER KALIKOW The MTA chairman reinforces my long held stereotype that there is an inverse relationship between wealth and intelligence. I can’t totally blame him though because he is managing money that was created by other, much smarter people. With a daily ridership of over 7 million people, multiplied by $2 per ride and 365 days a year, you are looking at one helluva Christmas bonus. Do you think Mr.KALIKOW could find it in the agency budget to upgrade the subway comfort stations so that I don’t have to piss on the tracks? PETER KALIKOW is to New York State Governor GEORGE PATAKI what ex-FEMA Director MIKE BROWN is to GEORGE BUSH. Just two kooky frat boys having fun with a billion dollar taxpayer beer bong. |
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GOVERNOR GEORGE PATAKI GEORGE PATAKI could have been a presidential contender in another reality where we don’t vote for someone based on how they look or how well they speak. Despite the fact that the Governor talks out of the side of his mouth — not because that’s a technique for politicians, but because he was bitten by a deer tick while hiking through the Catskills — PATAKI has always bested any challengers for his Albany seat. No homo. However when the shit hits the fan, the Governor is continually forced to hold the umbrella for more charasmatic downstate politicos like RUDOLPH GIULIANI and now MICHAEL BLOOMBERG. |
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MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG When the Mayor of New York City calls the transit workers “thugs” you can be sure that he didn’t mean it in the friendly rap music sense of the word. The Mayor of New York City might be one of America’s richest men, so we can’t really expect him to worry about whether transit workers can afford to put their kids through college. Can I be honest with y’all? This mayor dresses even better than former Mayor DAVID DINKINS did. I would forego healthcare and a retirement package to polish his shoes. I’d probably make twice what those transit humps make too. |
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ATTORNEY GENERAL ELLIOT SPITZER Surprisingly silent and invisible during this labor disagreement has been the pretender to the New York State gubernatorial throne. Only a few weeks prior, the attorney general was chasing down phony charities. The scope of this situation must have been too large for the attorney general’s pedigree. His silence has spoken volumes. Good luck in November Invisible Man. |
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SATCHEL ‘BOOTSY’ SUNDAY My uncle worked for the NYC transit system for just over thirty years. Unfortunately he passed away from cardiovascular disease before his retirement. My fondest memories of my uncle were the times I would be waiting for the subway to arrive and as the train barrelled into the platform he would spot me from the motorman booth and yell my name. When he was a driver on the independent lines I got a chance to ride along with him in the driver cab. The R-46 is still my favorite device in the system. The drivers and the conductors that work several stories under the Earth in pitch black darkness, moving those metal crates back and forth day after day, are people that I admire and respect. They allow me the chance to daydream for a few minutes before reality sets in and I have to walk out into the light. Thanks Uncle Bootsy. |