POLITRICKS 2010: Blindsided…

gov pat

The Democratic machine wanted NYS governor DAVID PATERSON to sit the fux down for the next election round. He ended up in the big seat at the statehouse by accident in the first place. SPITZER wasn’t supposed to get taken down so rudely, but ELIOT didn’t play nice with Wall Street and Wu-Tang Clan told us all that cash rules everything around us. So when SPITZER became deposed we all ended up with the booby prize. PATERSON had his chance to go quietly when OBAAMA told him to back down, but instead PATERSON tempted fate and now the hounds have been released.

I’m not a PATERSON h8r tho’. He’s balanced the state budgets when the the truth is that the majority of the money for this state is generated in an area that comprises 1/2400 of the state’s total area. I’m referring to NYC naturally. But PATERSON is part and parcel of politricks and anything goes in politricks. There is blood in the water and the sharks are circling. The only question is if PATERSON will be dragged under or barely escape by losing a leg below the knee? If this were 10 years prior then PATERSON might could call on his buddy CHARLIE RANGEL to help him get over the hump, but in 2010 RANGEL is an even bigger legislative liability than PATERSON is.

DAVID PATERSON knew the machine was coming for him and now he has nowhere to turn. The kingmakers are ready to give the throne back to the prince in waiting as a repayment for the unceremonious dumping of his father, the noble MARIO CUOMO. The godfather governor was ushered out of Albany on a rail as part of the liberal purge which also saw DAVID DINKINS get the boot from City Hall. ANDREW CUOMO has been groomed to be NYS governor since way back. It’s kind of interesting when you live long enough to see families anointed into political offices as opposed to actually being elected (see BUSH family).

13 Responses to “POLITRICKS 2010: Blindsided…”

  1. Slumbilical says:

    ANDREW CUOMO can do no wrong. When the white has decided that they love you, you can do no wrong (c) Apolo Ohno, who the white adores more than Whole Foods and J. Crew combined.

    That said, after Apolo Ohno was DQ’ed recently, I could see the white disowning him. The incredible thing about the white is that the only thing he loves more than his deities is to see such deities flame-out horribly and miserably (c) T. Woods (no T. Streets, no Gudder Gudder, no Tyga Tyga, no neck tats, no Baby/Wayne love child (c) Shanell).

    But such deity can always come back into favor if he has the requisite news conference and Oprah appearance – just not as heavy as before.

  2. Slumbilical says:

    Paterson will always be the gulliest gubnor evar though because right when he came into the office, he held a press conference and said “I’ve cheated on my wiz, she’s cheated on me. I’ve done drugs. ANY QUESTIONS.” LOLOL. Fuck the bullshit! He went in early and often.

  3. Slumbilical says:

    The eyes plus the beard always unsettled me [ll] – I think that, ultimately, this disconcerting combo did him in with the white, who like their disconcerting phenomena in small, digestable doses, such as divorces and arthouse documentaries, with a redemption theme at the end (see, e.g., the Haiti fundraiser). There is no redemption to be had with Paterson. Poor guy. I hope he gets a book deal but he strikes me as the sort of tragic chap who won’t even be able to score that.

  4. the_dallas says:

    “this disconcerting combo did him in with the white, who like their disconcerting phenomena in small, digestable doses, such as divorces and arthouse documentaries”

    True indeed. The ‘Precious’ pathos.

  5. getthesenets says:

    I think he knew he was fighting an unwinnable fight.

    If an aide putting hands on his wife/girlfriend can somehow someway be “linked” to you as the governor…and if the police “happen” to randomly detain your teen son…who happens to have somebody else’s bank card in his wallet….you know that there are all types of plants, spies, turncoats all around you.

    better to just fall on your sword.

  6. Slumbilical says:

    The wildest thing in my life was reading Dallas’s blog for the first time and realizing there is another dude out there who thinks with the same brain as me (super pause).

  7. Slumbilical says:

    Except when it comes to Lupe, the greatest rap artist evar.

  8. getthesenets says:


    ha ha ha ha HA

    ha ha ha ha HA

  9. Slumbilical says:

    Nah but he is, though.

    Food & Liquor was sum-epic.

    The Cool was awsmazingly powerful.

    LASERS will change the game forever.

    Sorry but Enemy of the State was outlandish. The way he ripped the All the Way Turnt Up beat and left it for dead?? If he spits like that on LASERS, it’s a fucking wrap. Hand him the crown.

    Once I get these tires on, I buy a bomb and tie it on
    And ride this around the entire song, find a line to drive it on
    Park it near a metaphor, wait for it, the timer’s on
    You can turn your hydrants on, I’ll just turn my wipers on
    Wipe it off then wipe me down but don’t forget about my bomb!

    p.s. Bol is a fat flaming fuck of a human being – the closest he’s come to getting laid is fucking a blow-up doll whilst viewing gay pr0n – remote control in one hand and Hardee’s double cheeseburger in the other – fries splayed about on his faded, dingy Superman bedsheets whilst giving the Vaseline Intensive Care bottle a super duper run for its money.

  10. the_dallas says:

    Yeah, I fux with Lupe [ll]

  11. Lol @ “blindsided”

    Gov. Paterson get demolished on SNL. His caricture is funnier than Obama’s.

  12. $yk! says:

    Hey! I fux with Hardee’s (Carl’s jr). Them potrabella mushroom 6 dollar burgers are elite munchies…and the double cheese burger is phats…

    Inn-N-Out>>>Burgerville>>>Carl’s Jr>>>Wendy’s>>>McD’s>>>BK

    But there’s a restaurant by me that has a Sunday special of a pound burger and a 12 egg omelet for $12. Good $ right there. And minimal bathroom time FTR.

    Paterson knew when he did that press conference in the beginning that was the end. It’s been a minute where I saw a pull-a-trick-cian get played like he did. But let’s not forget Cuomo one was butt…(II)

  13. 6 100 says:

    Honestly, DPat getting done the way he is getting done has to be one of, if not THE, most blatant displays of machine(gun) politics in memory. The media seems to want dukes head on a stick. And they want him to resign from his office for witness tampering in a domestic violence case? How the fuck does that impede his executive duty? Meanwhile Spitzer might run for Senate?

    I think Dave needs to both call the powers that be out on the coronation of Cuomo, and pull the race card. One thing white hates is being called a bigot or a racist in public. Then he needs to come down on the fucked up legislature like Rutger Hauer on some “Blind Fury” shit until his term is up. Then move to NJ, PA, FL, or ATL like everyone else from NY who get tired of NY.

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