eddie long

Bishop Long showing off his new iPhone [ll]

Back in the days in the Black church, and I’m assuming we all know what the Black church is… The Black church is the base support of brands like Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry. Back in the days in the Black church you knew where all the gheys were. The choir, natch. And it was accepted. And the music was good. The pastor/reverend/deacon/preacher was still a philanderer, but it was that classic vanilla boy on girl shit. Okay maybe the reverend might add another chick to the mix and a few lines of cocaine, but this was how it was down.

Meanwhile, the white church was a steady stream of fags and altar boys who got their asscheeks spread for God’s glory. The Catholic church was at one time the single greatest landowner throughout New York City but they have had to sell off acres of their land holdings to satisfy clandestine lawsuits of sexual impropriety. Integration has finally come to the church. I think Martin Luther King Jr. foresaw this in a dream after a ménage à trois in Memphis.

I’m never surprised when I learn that the Creflo Dollar types of ministries implode. The abuse can usually be traced to the minister’s name. You have to know that a preacher with the last name Dollar is gonna be a tax cheat. Just like some dude named Long is gonna make people get familiar with his johnson [ll]. Oh, and he’s based in Atlanta? Definite homo status. Nullus.

These preachers have congregations that outnumber concert attendance. Are they that nice with the word?! Or are people so confused and beat down that they just want to grab a hold of something [ll] and they flock to the biggest spectacle with the largest crowds? I’m sorry for the people that believe in these preachers as if they were supposed to be something other than a human with the normal selfish desires [ll]. Eddie Long is going to be a lot poorer for those desires. Maybe he can hit up his boy Creflo for a dollar?

11 Responses to “HO SIT DOWN!”

  1. Vik says:

    this is why I missed your blog.

    great piece.

    hilarious and sad. keep up the good work my dude

  2. Dart_Adams says:

    WOOW! © Pastor Mason Betha


  3. Jaislayer says:

    These Preachers, Reverends & Bishops has turned Religion into the biggest hustle ever & the people don’t see it. People actual followed the Rev. Mase, are we serious Mase. If these men of the cloth are not smashing young boys [ll], or getting young women pregnant, they are spending the church money on Bentley’s, jewlery & True Religion jeans. Oh yeah & iphones gotta have the latest technology. Anyone who gets rich off Religion is shady. Is the Rev. Run a real Reverend?

  4. the_dallas says:

    Rev. Run is the pastor for TWitterChurch.

    I think its AME

  5. Brahsef says:

    Ahhh, welcome back

  6. BIGNAT says:

    yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy the site is back everything is right in the world again

  7. BIGNAT says:

    i can’t say i hate this man but i dislike him very much. people who hide behind the guise of preacher. using religion and the word to feed there nasty pleasures. deserve a fate worst than death to be sick and try to pray on children is one thing. to use a place of trust to do it makes it even worse. the man still won’t admit his innocence and in that time since the first story came up 3 more men have stepped up. 4 people so far claim that he is a sick and twisted man.

    like the pic above and the one with him wearing the muscle shirt and shorts in front of a hot tub who the fuck sends that to young men ages 15-17. the sad part is he is either going pay those men off or use his influence to make them seem like they are liars. the number one thing this also brings up is the point of blind faith. i bet the majority of his followers are saying it’s not true. they don’t even care what is out there they think he is innocent no matter what.

  8. mashout3 says:

    Werd. welcome back.

  9. Enigmatik says:

    Here’s footage from his sermon today…dude looks like he’s about to get beamed up on the starship enterprise with a possum on his head:


  10. the_dallas says:

    I had to let off this TWit after I seen’t dude’s getup


  11. Fosterakahunter says:

    This brother is fidna go the way of Jimmy Swaggart and whats-his-face Bakker. How’s he affording a trip to Africa, anyway. Oh, my bad, the congregation afforded it.

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