I’m fairly confident that JESUS will have a gun when he comes back to Earth, especially if he plans on hanging out in America. We loooooooove guns in America. Almost as much as we love GOD. Okay, truth is that we don’t nearly love GOD as much as we love guns, but we love righteous indignation, and that’s a way of loving GOD too I think. As a matter of fact we will shoot you over our righteous indignation, because that’s how JESUS would want it. If he had a gun.
Here’s the short list of people that will be shooting their guns in the air for the new year. Pray that you aren’t caught up in the crossfire…
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DUKE LACROSSE TEAM Now that these young boys can put that silly rape nonsense in the rearview mirror they can go back to being the third best LAX team in the Atlantic Coast Conference. This case was a pile of elephant shit inside of an industrial strength food processor when it first dropped. Ultra sensitive back country Blacks took offense to the notion that a prostitute wasn’t really a college student just because she was taking an english course at a community college. Too bad she wasn’t taking an ethics class. Then she would have known how to spill the beans properly, stating that she was a professional lady who was drugged up by some hormonely agressive college punks. Who knows what the real story is in that shitstorm anyhoo? A drunk STEVEN PAGONES sits in his living room laughing and crying simultaneously. |
| WALL STREET STOCK BROKERS JESUS knew that the money changers were steady cooking the books and that’s what these crooks are prah’lee up to when they pay themselves these exorbitant bonuses. I saw a fantastic article in the local newspaper detailing all the people that these billion dollar bonuses fed. The waitress at the Wall Street steakhouse who gets $100 tips. The luxury sportscar dealer and the realtor that sells Manhattan penthouse apartments to hotshot day traders. I’m not an advocate for cannibalism, but these dudes are gonna taste like meat the day the market blows chunks. |
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VIRGINIA U.S. REP VIRGIL GOODE In one of those classic hiccups that happen when racist lawmakers hire staffers even more stupid than they are we learned that anti-Muslim xenophobia runs as deep as the Chesapeake River. A U.S. Rep thinks that we can somehow have a moratorium on Muslim immigrants as if they all wear nametags and turbans. That’s almost as stupid as building a fence throughout Texas. GOODE only removes his head from the sand in order to stick it up his arse. |
| MARY CHENEY Don’t say nothing sideways about the vice president’s daughter because dude has a gun and he is known to shoot even his friends in the face. It’s just that his daughter is married to another woman so this child might be an immaculate conception. Could this be the second coming of the infant baby JESUS? Give this kid some credit too for all the girl on girl fuckfests he’ll have experienced while in the womb. |
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NYPD COPS Right after the murder of SEAN BELL the NYPD went on a shooting spree in New York City. All these additional incidents were publicized to mitigate the fact that the SEAN BELL case was cold blooded murder. Bullets flew in all directions at the scene of SEAN BELL’s death as cops even targeted bystanders. I pray that the family of SEAN BELL doesn’t accept any money for their son’s death. I hope they stop at nothing less than the conviction of the three malicious cops that ignited and continued this tragedy. I believe that this case can change a city for the better. Not just with rhetoric, but with resolutions on the carte blanche that cops have to kill young Black males. If Hip-Hop is dead, why can’t supremacy die one day too? |
Only a nina for JC?! I think not my brother, maybe a Desert Eagle ESPECIALLY if he is going to any bodegas in midtown! God Jul!
“Give this kid some credit too for all the girl on girl fuckfests he’ll have experienced while in the womb”
^ Epic comment.