Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Now don’t go getting your politically correct panties all up in a bunch. When people called her husband BILL CLINTON a nigger we all laughed it off. Dude played the saxophone, he smoked pot AND he cheated on his old lady. Yeah, that sounded like a Black man to most of us. Trust me that HILLARY is Black. Blacker than BARACK. BELIEVE THAT!

HILLARY embodies everything that the professional Black woman is doing right now. She is holding her own around hundreds of white men. She is writing books that talk about empowering the community, but most of all, HILLARY is representing for Black women by having too many fucking last names.


That is some professional Black bitch shit right there. The more successful a Black women, the more last names she will sport. OPRAH is the only person bucking this trend since she is moving in the direction of being known as only the single initial ‘O’. I think OPRAH bought the letter ‘O’ for a billion million dollars and now Black people can’t even use it in their kids names.

I hate when a Black chick has three last names and she’s still single. I would never hire someone for whom I would have to order a custom sized cubicle tag. TINA JONES, welcome to DallasPenn dot com. TINAYA JOHNSON-WASHINGTON, not so much. Shit just cost more when niggas have extra long names for no reason. But the new millenium professional Black bitch doesn’t give a fuck about the cost of shit. If she can buy it for herself then she doesn’t respect you giving it to her. Can you believe that the new millenium Black bitch demands at least three carats of diamonds in her PLATINUM engagement ring? This is because she has the line of credit to buy herself a 2.5 carat ring already.

I am not blaming Black women for refusing to settle for less than they feel they are worth. I am blaming them for having two many fucking last names when they finally do settle down. They always live with one foot out of the door when they are independent and professional. Just looking for a man to be quiet and wear a beard like STEDMAN does while they frolic in the bed with a GAYLE KING.

Two pieces of advice for anyone considering dating a Black professional woman… Ask her to say her full last name and ask her whether she prefers gold over platinum. You can come back to this comment section afterwards and tell us the truth.


  1. Amadeo says:

    You just reminded me of Robin Harris, “I don’t need no nigga jumping up and down on me…I got another woman for that!”

  2. Candice says:

    Hey, I am a married professional black woman with one last name and a TWO carat platinum ring. I didn’t know I was bucking a trend.

  3. Tiffany says:

    “I think OPRAH bought the letter ‘O’ for a billion million dollars”

    This is kinda my story. Black Professional (check). Two last names (I hyphenated-yep). I’m very happy with my white gold diamond wedding ring (looking to upgrade in the 07 though!!!). Uhh, and yep, when my name changed, it took forever to get my new desk plate, WTH???…

  4. miss ahmad says:

    HIlary wishes she was a black woman, that’s a compliment that she’s simply not worthy of…

  5. t.r.b says:

    yo….that was the funniest stuff i have read in forever!!! the title alone made me bust out laughing and i’m at work right now! i’m black….and although i’m a girl i must go queen latifah vintage on you and say “who you calling a bitch?!” (no diss intended) hilarious…fucking hilarious!

  6. Shonquayshah says:

    I think OPRAH bought the letter ‘O’ for a billion million dollars and now Black people can’t even use it in their kids names.

    I had to stop RIGHT THERE because it’s crazy, not one of my three children has an O in their names….weird!

  7. Shonquayshah says:

    finished reading…co-sign with miss ahmad and for the record, i have an assortment of gold and diamond rings and 3 last names, so there!

    btw-one baby daddy

  8. retro says:

    As much as I’d like to see a woman president, I don’t trust Hillary as far as I can throw her.

  9. Kominy says:

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