Have A Baby By Me?

baby by me


Fisty Scent – Baby By Me’ featuring Ne-Yo

This is one of my favorite songs right now. The beat is perfect for the nightclubs and whenever the song comes on the women rush to the dancefloor. Ne-Yo on the chorus is of course the murderous element. Despite the fact that this song is a surefire hit I had to dig a little deeper than most would to see how real Fisty Scent kept it on a lyrical level.

Rap is in its core essence lyrical braggadocio. The artist establishes their dominance by exclaiming feats that are unique to only them. In this song Fisty Scent not only decrees his sexual prowess but the idea that if he is allowed to impregnate the listener they will become a millionaire. From the outset I’m sure those rhymes are super attractive to the female fans of Fisty Scent, especially in this shrinking U.S. economy, but what are the real-life ramifications of winning this lyrical lottery?

Hands down, Fisty Scent is one of the shrewdest artists in the music business. He has created an empire for himself while still wearing his du-rag into business meetings. Even Ghey-Z had to ‘change clothes’ to increase his wealth. Fisty Scent has leveraged his thug persona to cross over to marketing that has no connection to street life. Vitamin Water? That was a coup that no other rapper or Hip-Hop impresario had considered. Everyone else was chasing liquor branding oppurtunites and silly clothing line endeavors.

So don’t think that Fisty Scent is going to issue this million dollars in lump sum format. I can imagine that Fisty will issue the money in 18 annual payments of $55,556, or to better amortize his investment $4,629.63 in monthly installments until the million is finally excised. That doesn’t exactly amount to anything fabulous for the mother of the Fisty Scent seed now does it? Especially after the taxes for these monies have been calculated and paid. That isn’t even considering all the costs associated with child rearing.

baby by me

Healthcare costs for both mother and child have been skyrocketing when compared to the Consumer Price Index measure. Healthcare will be the single greatest expenditure (aside from education) when you consider bringing up a thug’s baby. Surgery from bullet and stab wounds can be very costly. Also note that the contract becomes voided if the child dies prior to their 18th birthday (R.I.P. Derrion Albert).

After education and healthcare requirements we still have to consider childcare because the mother of this kid is still going to need to put in hours at the stripclub in order to supplement her income if she wants to clothe and feed the seed.

baby by me

So by having a baby with Fisty Scent what you are really agreeing to is a legal and moral debt obligation. Fisty Scent’s arrangement barely covers half the costs associated with raising his child. At this rate you might could do better for yourself having a child with me.

At least my union benefits cover dental costs.

baby by me


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14 Responses to “Have A Baby By Me?”

  1. ddconyers says:

    number crunches will totally miss the point you presented. right now i make zero $ as a window & door installer and im getting beat for $1400 a month. all hail 50’s lawyers. can i get some chartiy?

  2. damestatus says:

    You still might be that dude on the written tip. Your language and education runs laps around these blog dudes. that will never come thru on video, although that is the current frontier!

  3. hiphopmuse says:

    That 55k annual pymt ain’t bad if said baby mama keeps a FT job. Your analysis doesn’t just apply to groupies, everyday women have babies for the dough too.

    http://hiphopmuse.com/2009/10/15/having-a-baby-for-the-dough-yay-or-nay/

  4. jaydon the don says:

    Enjoyable, but a millionaire is defined as someone who has at least 1 mil at a given point in time. Most people are millionaires over a lifetime, even Sean Price has a shot. This takes nothing away from the post as Curtis would do something as diabolical as give a bitch a mil over 90 years. Another funny angle would be to tackle the unspecific “millionaire” status. For example, a Jamaican millionaire clears about $11 k of that American tender. Take that to Zimbabwe and shortie prob owes Fif a few bones.

  5. Tony Grands says:

    Good ass drop [||], DP. I won’t attempt to attach a bunch of logic to it, I’ll just enjoy your clever word game for what it is.

    Those pics were hilarious! Tho. Ranks up there with the hotel shot of 50 kissing Game on the cheek.

  6. Kiana says:

    LOL How do you come up with this stuff?

    I heard this 50 joint for the first time yesterday and I hated it. No surprise there though. The way 50 stays ruthless with his, you’d have to be mighty dumb to try and have his kid. Though I do think his baby moms would get more than a mill considering his total income is pretty high and judges like to act like kids with a wealthy parent actually need thousands of dollars every month to survive.

  7. 40 says:

    Have a baby by me baby, be a Dollarmenuaire….

  8. Tiffany says:

    Nice DP

    “Surgery from bullet and stab wounds can be very costly”. LOFL!!!!

    “whenever the song comes on the women rush to the dancefloor”. (okay Chris Rock was right and this makes me sad)

  9. chris says:

    “I can imagine that Fisty will issue the money in 18 annual payments of $55,556, or to better amortize his investment $4,629.63 in monthly installments until the million is finally excised”

    ::DEAD::

  10. 1969 says:

    I approve this combo of hip hop and ghetto economics. Genius Dallas!

    However, if I recall, 50’s first babymama had to set her own house on fire to get him to pay some cash right?

  11. LM says:

    Proof you were from the future

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