Editor’s note: Here is the first installment from one of the youngest in charge in the blogging game. RD a/k/a RODNEY DUGUE has been an assertive and cocky young reader from the outset and I promised him that I would ride with him as soon as he gave me some material that was new and fresh. Dude came up with a theme that could have only come from my mind, the fact that du-rags might actually be squeezing the brains out of kids. This kind of futuristic thought process coming from an adult would be nothing to talk about, but coming from a 19yr. old writer it seems like the sign to me that all is not yet lost on the youth. Peep the debut entry from my brother RD, the youngest in blog…
At the behest of Dallas (i.e. per Dallas’ request for those of you whose IQ matches your Jordan size) I have been commissioned to loosen the ends of your du-rags in an effort to let the blood flow freely and directly to the membrane to liberate us from the slavery of ignorance and mis-education. And some of you thought slavery disappeared like A-Rod in the playoffs. Shame.
It’s gotten to the point, where at any given moment, 8 out of 10 blacks can be spotted wearing a du-rag (some carry up to 4 du-rags, I’m guessing one per limb, maybe). Believe me, I understand how you all want those hypnotizing, racetrack waves that will send any passer-by into an epileptic seizure. But damn, don’t you ever have a moment where you doff your du-rag? I shouldn’t hold you accountable either, because your hero Curtis Jackson has shown you that wearing a du-rag to constantly can be profitable. He’s goes to sleep, goes to the studio, shits, fucks and goes fishing all while wearing a du-rag. His new name should be Curtis “who can wear 50 du-rags” Jackson.
But, I digress. Muslims have turbans, Jews have their little silk flying saucers stapled to their heads, and now Negroes have du-rags. I could understand if du-rags were protective devices ‘cuz my Jehovah witnesses keep predicting that a fury of brimstone is gonna hit in 4039 in the month of Deathember. But unfortunately, du-rags aren’t cultural head gear, just some tactic the white man told yall will make your hair appear less nappy which therein lies a rejection/denial of your Africana roots.
These cranium cloths double as thinking caps, as these same people are saying and doing some bizarre, igno-rant circa 1400 plantation jump-for-whitey shit. It is why I caution you that next time you see a Negro about to tighten those snakes of ignorance snatch that du-rag off and show him the long-lasting effects of an innocent du-rag. I present to you the undistinguished list of Negroes who need their du-rags snatched off their domes before the blood stops flowing forever…
1) 50 Cent (G Unit just started making custom du-rags for the Iraqi troops. Boy, 50 just can’t get enough of that George Bush)
2) Lil Bow Wow (Still has his first du-rag from when he was 3 months old)
3) Jesse Jackson (his illegitimate kids already started wearing du-rags)
4) Dame Dash (Bald or not, that du-rag was responsible for the split between him and Jay)
5) Charles Rangel ( I might have to get Maxine Waters on that ass)
6) Michael Jordan (he only wears his at night)
In the vein of newfound and groundbreaking internet jargon, I present to you “snatching the du-rag off your dome” as an honorary rebuke (think no homo) in your every-day shit-talking agenda. Hopefully, this self-correcting technique will be amongst those that have already made it to the pantheon of internet jargon: weedcarrier, T.I., stan, jig, etc