Archive for January, 2006

JESUS WORKS WITH ME…

Sunday, January 22nd, 2006

the Black cross

When I am not sitting in my parents basement in my underwear sipping Crystal Light out of my special cup with the crazy straw I like to go outside. I am notorious for sitting in my underwear for an entire weekend because all I do is watch cartoons and look at internet porn. On the occasion that I might venture outdoors it is usually to get some Chinese food and visit the library.

The local Chinese kitchen in my parents neighborhood has a countertop that isn’t buttressed with the 12inch thick bulletproof glass and their fried rice has egg inside of it. The library has a pretty awesome colored peoples section with some rare joints by LANGSTON HUGHES, FRIDA KAHLO, bell hooks and GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ to name a few. Plus they have a scanner. So it pays for me to put some sweats on and amble my way around town.

So I stopped by the library today to scan some old pictures and pick up the original STAR WARS movie (to watch for the kajillionth time) and who do I run into? JESUS, the Son of Man.

J to the C

GOD sent JESUS back to us as a Mexican because he knew we’d overlook him. Instead of carpentry, JESUS’ day job is at the Merrick Road service station across the street from the library.

J's jacket

I asked J what he was getting into today and he told me that he was just relaxing and taing it easy. He had picked up a spindle of CD-R’s from National Wholesale Liquidators and he was going to go home and burn some CD’s.

I saw that he was checking out a book too so I aked him who he was reading these days. Turns out the J of C was going to get into the JAMES FREY memoir ‘A Million Little Pieces’. I asked JESUS if he had heard about the controversy surrounding the book and how the account appears to be a largely fictional retelling of that period in his life. JESUS cracked a smile and asked me when was the last time that I read the bible, especially the New Testament. He said that there was a book that was rife with fictional exxageration to the point that if it were drafted today it could never be published. The point he said, was “the journey and the transformation. To recognise that one was part and parcel of a macro-web, with everyone and everything on the Earth at the same time essential and connected.”

Leave it up to a Mexican JESUS to wax all philosophically about a crappy book. J invited me back to his flat to chill out and download movies with him(no brokeback).

John the Baptist

His buddy from Haiti, JEAN du’BAPTISTE, was in town with a brick of that sticky brown stuff, ifyouknowwhatImsayin, but I had to pass this time.

JESUS is cool as shit and he is still down for partying with the peoples.

AND NOW… A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

Sunday, January 22nd, 2006

champeezy my neezy

HALLE BERRY Got Herself A ‘SNOWMAN’

Sunday, January 22nd, 2006

snowman and the falcon

And I aint talkin’ ’bout a YOUNG JEEZY tee shirt either.

And why not?!? The time is past due for Black women to make that love connection. Snowmen understand the pressure to be the breadwinner and structural support of a family unit. They understand the need for sacrifice in order to achieve success. Snowmen are ambitious strivers just like Black women.

Mainstream media has decided to go bigscreen with their endorsement of the ebony-ivory union just in time for ‘VALENTIME’s DAY’. The flick is called ‘SomethingNew’ and it stars my man DENZIZZLE’s former side order, SANAA LATHAN.

The plot descrip reads as follows… “While 42.4% of African- Americans have never been married, Kenya, a professional African-American woman is determined to do something about it. She is shocked to discover, however, that she’s falling in love with a white landscaper.”

AWWW SHIZZZY! I am loving the plot components already. Landscaping is honorable work and it requires that you have respect for the Earth. You respect the Earth’s cycles and its details. I remember reading a story about the history of Blacks in America just prior to chattle slavery. The Blacks that were from central sub-Sahara Africa were expert farmers and they were the desire of ALL women because of their broad shoulders and their knowledge on how to plow the bush soil. Ha! Some good having that knowledge was.

As a side note I think that you will enjoy the QUEEN LATIFAH/LL COOL J vehicle ‘Last Holiday’. Its better than it was supposed to be and I left the theatre happy instead of feeling cycnical. ‘Match Point’ however, was a poor imitation of DOSTOEVSKY’s ‘Crime and Punishment’. At least I didn’t have to suffer through seeing another self-loathing character played by whatshisname.

MEXICAN by Birth, AFRICAN by Legacy

Sunday, January 22nd, 2006

my old Earth


MEXICAN by Birth, AFRICAN by Legacy

FRANKLIN H. WILLIAMS Caribbean Cultural Center
408 West 58th Street
Phone 212-307-7420 or e-mail: events@cccadi.org for hours

My folks produced this exhibit over the course of two years. The images and stories are powerful, and dare I say prehistoric.

Visit www.maschulo.com for more info

Peace

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Saturday, January 21st, 2006

A.M.360

Just when I think that NIKE has finished pushing the design technology envelope, the good folks from Oregon find another level.

NIKE’s flagship technical running shoe had a celebrity bar mitzvah at NIKETOWN. There was free food and refreshments all around the store. I love when NIKETOWN does these special invite only events because I really get to appreciate the building as one of the great temples to sneaker culture along with hundreds of other true believers. The Negro Network’s very own video jig TIG hosted the party to launch the AIR MAX 360.

tig the jig

The real celebrity last nite though was the AIR MAX brand. The AIR MAX shoe has been a favorite item for everyone from the die-hard 6am morning jogger to the kids in the ‘LO sweaters and SteepTech jackets. Fans of the brand had gathered at NIKETOWN in some of their crispiest kicks. I debuted a pair of my AIR MAX TL’s from 2004.

A.M. '04

NIKE even offered special limited edition AIR MAX I.T.’s to commemorate the event. I had to copp these ‘sick to death’ AIR 180 BRS editions. I will call them my ‘Fruity Pebbles’. (no brokeback, of course)

so much fruit (no homo)
fruity pebbles

My next acquisition will be a pair of the AIR MAX 360 in the pearl/red colorway. I tried these joints on and I was almost tempted to sprint out of the store. I feel like its generic of me to tell you how comfortable they feel, but if you can imagine wearing bubble wrap on your feet then you have an idea of how smooth these kicks are. My favorite part of the shoe is that the foot pad is a little wider than what I am used to from the AIR MAX brand. My one complaint was the lacing eyelet design. I would guess that NIKE moved away from intergrating a polycarbon lace retainer system to assist the shoes in being so lightweight, but I just didn’t care for the design they ended up with (peep the A.M. ’05 lace retainer system – straight dope).

straight laced

Anyhoo, it was cool to be in a nerd ‘fest without TRIUMPH the Insult Comic Dog busting your balls (no brokeback). I was also pleasantly surprised with the amount of shorties that came to the event. In the early days these sneaker cons used to be like cargo pants swordfighting (extra no brokeback).

the fellas