Archive for December, 2005

FREEDOM _ NEW YEAR’s EVE PARTY

Saturday, December 31st, 2005

freedom

Your admission price is only $50 bucks if you print this flyer OR you say the name ‘DALLAS PENN’ to the cashier.

FREEDOM’s NEW YEAR’s PARTY
TriBeCa Cinemas
54 Varick Street (one block south of Canal Street)

dance to all of your favorite classics from PRINCE, A TRIBE CALLED QUEST, MICHAEL JACKSON, OL’ DIRTY BASTARD, JAMES BROWN, RICK JAMES et.al.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

OBIE TRICE Really Wants You To Buy His Album

Saturday, December 31st, 2005

obie trigger trice

Hey kids, back those hard drives up for the New Year. I assed out (no homo) by not doing just that and in early 2004 my PC committed suicide. I lost all of my magazine work that I had not saved for about 16 months. I lost my all of my interview transcripts – DIPSET, DJ KAY SLAY, GRUPO AVENTURA, MIKE EPPS, TRICK TRICK, 50 CENT and OBIE TRICE. I don’t have any paper copies so that work is gone forever. I needed the CAM’RON pictures and interview two months ago. I need the OBIE TRICE interview right about now.

You prah’lee heard that ol’ boy was shot the fuck up this weekend. He and his girlfriend were on a freeway in Detroit early this morning when the incident occured. OBIE is a cool dude as far as crappers go and I can’t imagine who might want to shoot him since he is non-confrontational and he hasn’t had a single released in two years. That is just more proof to the overall gulliness of Detroit city. How crazy would it be though if OBIE TRICE shot himself while getting head in the whip?!?

OBIE TRICE is in stable condition at a Detroit hospital so I guess the lyrics from ‘We All Die One Day’ aren’t applicable yet…

Niggas when I step up in the bar, faggots wanna look
like you motherfuckers got Obie Trice shook
Like I’m gonna stand here as a man and
let some queer ass funny looking nigga get the upper hand
I got issues, got no time, got guns that mourn nigga’s moms
shoot up clubs and destroy nigga’s vibes
everybody running for their motherfucking lives
Tough club niggas, we leave early, cock back surely
open up your fade, your grey brain meets motor city pave
your nervous system still twitch off Jay Z
O’s an animals skirts get mercked
don’t ever let a nigga tell you slugs don’t hurt
don’t ever let a nigga tell you play the bar hard
trust in GOD cause you’re about to catch a bullet scar
I give a fuck where you from who you be with
keep this a secret right by the nuts
a 4-5 that’ll light niggas up and this 4-5 high make me not give a fuck

SEPARATED AT BIRTH : AL B. SURE

Friday, December 30th, 2005

dal b. smoove

Is there something wrong with you
Or is there something wrong with me
Tell me something
Do I not look good enough for you
Or maybe, baby, you just look too good for me
Don’t sweat yourself
On the strength!

-Off On Your Own(Girl) 1988

ALL HAIL THE QUEEN!

Friday, December 30th, 2005

queen mary

JACQUI HERNANDEZ proposed giving MARY J. BLIGE a run through the BeYONCE Factor since MARY is closing out 2005 on top of the pop music game. MARY has sold over 700,000 copies of her latest CD titled ‘The Breakthrough’.

There is no way in hell that I will allow M.J.B. to be analyzed in the BeYONCE Factor because she is so much more than just her music, her art. MARY has been with us from the beginning and even back then she was fearless and unbroken. She sang with an unmistakeable passion. MARY was so hungry to succeed, to be loved, and you could feel her yearning in her voice. I watched her sing one night with such force that I knew her lungs would be raw and swollen the next morning. I felt her pain and it made me want to cry with her, but I didn’t cry.

I had just gotten some dust in my eyes.

MARY is the embodiment of one of the great classic queens. A modern day NEFERTITI, or a CLEOPATRA. She represents love, compassion, pain, strength and most importantly, fertility. Not that over the top pop star booty shaking/cockteasing. BeYONCE is a bad mamma jamma, but she is more like a HOTTENTOT VENUS, while MARY J. BLIGE is a true ISIS.

Keep ya’ head up M.J.B. We love you.

BILLY SUNDAY is Moving to CANADA!

Friday, December 30th, 2005

blacklove

If you are a conscientious objector to the Iraq war and you really enjoy the smell of different types of vagina on a daily basis, you have another reason to pack your bags and move north of the border.

In a landmark judicial ruling, Canada’s Supreme Court has removed the ban that had been placed on swingers’ clubs. The judges have decided that sexual intercourse among consenting adults should not be considered prostitution nor is it a threat to civilized society.

The actual threat to civilized society has been beauracratic incompetence, metrosexuals and women with chest hair.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!