Archive for September, 2007

VH-1 Has Made B.E.T. Irrelevant…

Sunday, September 30th, 2007

hip hop honors

For one week a year VH-1 earnestly goes in and represents for Hip-Hop better than any media outlet evar. They make Black Entertainment Television’s programming look so damn amatuerish and irrelevant. I’m not saying that B.E.T. should be the network that exclusively broadcasts Hip-Hop related content, but B.E.T. shouldn’t get outclassed to the level that VH-1 does it to them.

This year is unfortunately no different for Whack Entertainment Television as VH-1 gears up for their annual broadcast of the Hip-Hop Honors Awards. I could prah’lee go in on why this show needs a shapeup as well, but for what it represents it is still the most important block of programming on television. VH-1 takes over the game this week though by rolling out a string of reality shows and documentaries focusing on Hip-Hop’s past, present and future.

If you work at Whack Entertainment Television and you haven’t given your resume yet to to Viacom’s VH-1 human resource department you better brush up on your gospel music because that is the only thing y’all will be broadcasting come next year. That and videos of ‘Chocolate Rain’ by TAY ZONDAY. B.E.T. please kill yourself.

‘BRIDGING THE GAP’
Ep.1 featuring QUEEN LATIFAH & EVE
Ep.2 featuring SNOOP DOGG & THE GAME
Monday October 1st 11pm

‘Bridging The Gap’ documents what happens when two established artists come together to explore their shared musical passions. In each half-hour episode, two artists who share a mutual admiration and respect for the other will share a day, discussing their lives while creating a new track produced by one of today’s hottest producers. Queen Latifah and Eve are featured in the premiere, while The Game and Snoop Dogg collaborate in the second episode at 11:30pm
Editor’s note: The first episode sounds like some feel good shit for the ladies. Let’s see if Latifah advises Eve on how to get it done in Tinseltown. Speaking of Hollywood Snoop and Gayme are some of Hollyhood’s best cRap-tors. They need someone to teach them how to stay out of prison.

‘VH1 ROCK DOCS: FADE TO BLACK’
Wednesday October 3rd, 8:30pm

Shawn Carter (Jay-Z) has been one of the most influential figures in black American music since the mid-nineties. “Fade To Black” reveals the multiple Grammy Award winning artist as never before, from his background and rise to fame to the recording of his last album. The film chronicles his legendary concert at Madison Square Garden in November 2003 that featured guest performances by Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, Missy Elliott, R. Kelly, Foxy Brown, Pharrell, and Questlove and The Illadelphonics along with appearances by hip hop icons Damon Dash, Rick Rubin, Slick Rick, P. Diddy and many others. Viewers get the rare glimpse into Jay-Z’s creative process as he searches for inspiration, poetry, and perfection in his songs. Narrated by Jay-Z himself, his account of the night takes on reflections of his entire musical career and his journey that led to this one astounding, fabled evening–rightfully called “Fade To Black.”
Editor’s note: The JiggaMan hype machine is gearing up. Yawwwwwn.

‘CLASSIC ALBUMS: JAY-Z – REASONABLE DOUBT’
Wednesday October 3rd, 11pm

VH1’s latest addition to the “Classic Albums” franchise takes us back through the whole creative process behind Jay-Z’s stunning first release “Reasonable Doubt.” Initially as a performer racking up an incredibly successful string of hit singles and albums and later as an executive, having taken on the presidency of Def Jam Records in 2004. “Reasonable Doubt” is still considered by many to be his finest achievement. A much harder hitting and edgy record than his later more polished and pop orientated releases, it announced to the world that a new rap star had arrived.
Editor’s note: ‘Reasonable Doubt’ is a great album as a piece of entertainment, but when media outlets continue to tout this album as a biblical account of his personal life it only serves to trivialize and further disenfranchise the families who were actually decimated from substance abuse. One day the people inside of the ghetto will file class action lawsuits against all the rappers who claim to have been former drug dealers. Until them I suppose I will have to suffer the veracity of this hustler’s homage.

‘VH1 HIP HOP HONORS’
Monday October 8th, 10pm

Once again, VH-1 honors the hip hop pioneers and legends that have made significant contributions to all aspects of pop culture with the fourth annual ‘VH-1 Hip Hop Honors’. Hosted by Tracy Morgan, this year’s honorees include A Tribe Called Quest, Snoop Dogg, WHODINI, Missy Elliott, the film Wild Style and Teddy Riley and Andre Harrell for New Jack Swing. The music and influence of each of the honorees will be recognized through performances by classic artists in collaboration with today’s hottest new talent. The honorees are set to take the stage and showcase their legendary talent, along with Ciara, Eve, Pharrell Williams, T.I., Timbaland, Bow Wow, Busta Rhymes, Common, T-Pain, Keyshia Cole, Nick Cannon, Nelly Furtado, Ne-Yo, KRS-One, Jermaine Dupri, Grandmaster Caz, Nelly, Mos Def, Kool Moe Dee, Grand Wizzard Theodore and The Chief Rocker Busy Bee as well as appearances by Chris Rock, Harvey Keitel, LL Cool J, Salt -N- Pepa, Kerry Washington and Diddy.
Editor’s note: The iNternets Celebrities are trying to score some red carpet access to this event. Stay tuned for more info.

BIONIC SYNERGY IN ADVERTISING…

Sunday, September 30th, 2007

rogue

I DVR’d the premiere episode of the new ‘Bionic Woman’ action drama television show. It’s pretty dope too, but considering it’s produced by the folks that make ‘Battlestar Galactica’ I don’t consider that a stretch. ‘Bionic Woman’ even has some of the cast members from the Galactica series namely the chick that plays Starbuck Kara Thrace. All of that is well and good, but during the commercial break of ‘Bionic Woman’ I saw an interesting commercial.

Nissan is going in hard with NBC Universal to push up the sales of it’s newest SUV called the Rogue. When I watched ‘Heroes’ the other evening I noticed a few scenes were the car was shot as the centerpiece of the scene and the characters were placed awkwardly beside it. During the ‘Bionic Woman’ telecast NBC advertised a promotion to give several of the vehicles away after they had been signed by the creator of the ‘Heroes’ series, TIM KRING.

All of this to say that advertisers are scrambling to have their products placed now that viewers are no longer watching their expensively produced commercials. The same money that was being spent to sponsor network programming is now being used to underwrite and produce specific shows. TiVo means never having to watch a commercial again, or so I thought. Now the programming itself has become the commercial.

CEREAL IS DOPE OUTTAKES…

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

i.c.

Some of the nonsense that ends up on the cutting room floor…

The iNternets Celebrities milk their ‘Cereal Is Dope’ video for all it’s worth (puns always intended)

Hell NO to Nutty Nuggets!

CHEA!

Industry Rule #4,080…

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

ATCQ

This year’s VH-1 Hip-Hop Honors will give some shine to a group of artists from Queens that created the lane in rap music now occupied by DeLa Soul, The Roots, OutKast, BlackStar’s Mos Def and TALIB KWELI, the Neptunes and to a large degree KANYE WEST.

A Tribe Called Quest was more than simply a groundbreaking music group. In my opinion they were the modern expression for post-African Black culture. From a social standpoint when you look at ATCQ you can clearly see the myriad artistic influences that Black Americans employ in the creation of their own art. ATCQ represented with a collage of jazz, soul and classical music along with a healthy sprinkling of pop culture. ATCQ and the Native Tongue movement was a healthy and spiritual antidote to the gangsta image gimmickry that was becoming the Hip-Hop industry’s prevailing iconography.

In a few short years after the formation of ATCQ there almost wouldn’t be any oxygen available in rap music for those that didn’t breathe and breed self-destruction. Thankfully, A Tribe Called Quest’s influence extended past their own artistry. Hip-Hop’s underground scene continues to thrive for artists who appreciate the complexity and dexterity of lyrical expression and the textures and context of beatmaking. Hip-Hop lives on and even with the awards and honors bestowed from VH-1, A Tribe Called Quest never needed a statue to tell you how nice they were.

If you are on the planet of Brooklyn next Saturday 10.6.2007 I invite you to come to this event…

Brooklyn Bodega & The Hip Hop Institute, in conjunction with VH1 Hip Hop Honors and powerHouse Arena present
• HIP-HOP HONORS PANELS 2007 •
Saturday, October 6, 2007 – 12-2pm
powerHouse Arena
37 Main Street, Dumbo, Brooklyn
F Train to York Street, A/C to High Street

PANEL #1: A Tribe Called Quest, The Birth and Evolution of a Legend: A Tribe Called Quest is one of the few universally respected groups in the history of Hip-Hop. Q-Tip, Ali Shaheed Muhammad, Phife (and sometimes Jarobi) crafted five outstanding albums over a 10 year period that defined what is know referred to as the Golden Era of Hip-Hop. Their music has influenced artists from Kanye West to T.I. to J Dilla and many more. Come join us as we discuss the group’s genesis, evolution and legacy. Let’s separate fact from fiction and why this group holds such a special place in Hip Hop.

Panelists: Jeff Sledge, Senior Director, Jive Records
Brian Coleman, author, Check The Technique
Eskay, writer, Nahright.com
Dallas Penn, Dallaspenn.com, Internet Celebrities
Lynn Johnson, Senior Editor, Fast Company
Buttahman, Director of Music & Talent, MTV

ET TU NIKE, ET TU?!?

Saturday, September 29th, 2007

lawsiouxt

I read this article in the internets about how Nike spent mega bucks to do some research on the foot size of Native Americans in order to construct a shoe that was more agreeable and comfortable to wear. Aww shit! Sounds like Nike is making their kicks more sturdy for the long trek on another Trail of Tears.

Although I don’t know how much farther west we can force the natives to walk.

So Injuns have bigger feet than most people? You know what that means? Bigger feet = bigger socks. I can imagine that natives will have to start paying more for their socks because of the extra cotton involved.

I’m pissed that Nike would fund the research to study the size of people’s feet. Who the fuck cares about the size of someone’s foot anyhoo? How about making a bigger shoe. Just do it. Or fund a study to find out why the injun foot is larger than the Euros who were used as the control group for normal sized feet.

It turns out that diabetes is prevalent among Native Americans at a ridiculously disproportionate rate than any other residents in the United States, moreso than even Black people. That could explain the occurrence of larger feet.

Too often we only treat symptoms to problems here in America without examining the root causes of the problems in the first place. It allows people to continue their fantasy lives of actually being good people, caring for pets and saving the Earth, without ever having to confront the fact that they are the reason the planet is so fucked the fuck up on a daily basis.

I’m sure Nike will use their social equity in this experiment in order to create some fucking mocassins that pay homage to the various native communities. Knowing that I am a sensless sneaker consumer as well I will prah’lee copp me a pair of those Iroquois Air Max.

sioux shoes