Archive for July, 2006

CRIS CARTER: Almost Famous

Tuesday, July 25th, 2006

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First off, if any of y’all are traveling through the air do not get caught up in AirTran’s circus of bullshit. These humps are the cheapest fare for a reason. The customer service is wack, the stewardesses have track marks on their arms and they wear cheap wigs and the planes are always overbooked.

While I was flying to Atlanta last week I ran into CRIS CARTER, legendary wide receiver from the Minnesota Vikings. CRIS is a good dude and he stopped for a minute to chat with me. I always liked CRIS more than say, JERRY RICE, because he toiled away without complaints for all those years on those sucky Vikings teams.

Lo and behold, CRIS was flying to Atlanta on the same AirTran flight that I was on. This is how real the BUSH Administration economy is looking. Even a former NFL superstar has to watch his pennies now that his playing days are over. I saw the young lady that was accompanying CRIS and I realized that he may not make the Hall of Fame in Canton after all. Homegirl was not HOF caliber pussy. She was just aiight. Definitely hittable, but not on the level that you would expect for the second greatest receiver of all time. CRIS needs to have him some illmatic mulatto with real blonde hair and not that lace front jammy that homegirl was rocking.

If CRIS CARTER doesn’t step his broad game up I don’t see him getting into the Hall on a first ballot

TOP OF NEW YORK

Monday, July 24th, 2006

Whatever it was that you were doing on Tuesday should be pushed back so that you can enjoy some free New York City. Every summer there are a handful of events that you have to attend, either because the talent level is usually so high that you will never have a chance to see them for free, or because the artists bring something extra to the table that breaks from the norm. In both instances that will be the case in Fort Greene Park on Tuesday evening. LITTLE BROTHER and JOELL ORTIZ will be bringing their Hip-Hop music to Brooklyn.

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JOELL ORTIZ actually hails from Brooklyn’s Cooper housing projects and he has been one of NYC’s best kept secrets for a few years. JOELL uses a super-tight flow and an expansive vocabulary to express his Hip-Hop. The gritty backpacker style from 1991 is how I might best describe his sound. In one of the borough’s best traditions, JOELL has the new anthem that expresses everything that Brooklyn brings to Hip-Hop.

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LITTLE BROTHER is another Hip-Hop act that you won’t hear on pop 40 radio, but fans of rap will tell you that they are what’s really good. LITTLE BROTHER’s lead rapper, PHONTE, recently started a mini-firestorm when he said that most Blacks weren’t intelligent enough to understand his rap music. I think he has a point too.

These are the types of acts that deserve our support because they haven’t dumbed themselves down to fit into a radio or a clubscene format. If you would prefer to enjoy the chicken noodle soup then by all means stay in that lane. For those of you that want more from your artists this is your chance to support the cause. Oh and by the way, it’s FREE.

FORT GREENE PARK
DeKalb Avenue @ South Elliot Place
7pm

Happy Berfday to J-E-L-L-O

Monday, July 24th, 2006

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Zionism Is For The Kids…

Monday, July 24th, 2006

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Since you bitches were too squeamish to enjoy the interracial love pictures I yanked them from the rotation. Love, or the act of making it and faking it, is what puts people on this planet. If those images bother you then maybe you’d like to see the things that remove people from the Earth.

Israel is kicking azz so hard right now it’s not even funny. It’s like watching the LARRY BROWN coached Knicks playing against Miami, or Detroit, or Cleveland, or Chicago, or anybody. I knew it was going to go down so super ugly for two important reasons. 1) Israel has some really illmatic weapons and 2) Israel likes to kill Arab children.

Remember that the soverign state Israel was created after WWII because England and France wanted to relocate the displaced Germans. Palestine was a perfect spot because it allowed the West to retain a staging area inside the Middle East. The Israelis are essentially relocated Europeans. For thousands of years Europeans have existed on the threshhold of extinction themselves. The fallow soil and lack of wildlife meant that some winters would be survived only if they ate their own offspring.

Don’t become a pussy now and act like you can’t finish reading this post. I will include some pictures at the end for those of you who can’t read too well, but like I was saying, there were some winters that were so brutal that the family had to grill their youngest child. This was done in order for the family unit to survive, but it also describes just how fucked up it must be to come from a region that doesn’t sustain life naturally. I hear people bitch and moan about SONY adverts being racist, and such and such being racist, but I don’t think any of these people truly understand how deep it gets. Supremacists will eat their own kids. So why should they give a flying fuck about you and your needs?!?

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How great are these pictures form the Middle East? Peep the little girls writing messages to the Lebanese children on the outsides of the artillery shells. It’s like friends and family day at the shelling station. It kind of reminds me of these types family day bus-outing photographs.

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I’m sorry, but has anyone picked up the phallic conotations of these little girls being intimate with these big brown missiles?

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Good news! Looks like the messages from the Israeli children have been delivered to the Lebanese kids. Too bad they just couldn’t send an e-mail.

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BILLY SUNDAY’s Back To A Blackout

Monday, July 24th, 2006

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I can’t disappear for a minute without y’all fucking up some shit?!?

Who was running the microwave, the toaster, the waffle iron and the Korean DVD player from the same electrical outlet?