Archive for September, 2009

Panem Et Circenses…

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

vma

“Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the people have abdicated our duties; for the people who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses.” -Juvenal, Roman poet circa 200 A.D.

I want my MTV!” -Sting, rock musician circa 1985


Dire Straits – ‘Money For Nothing’

Nearly thirty years ago, in 1981 to be exact, the Music Television channel changed the soundscape of American music by broadcasting music videos. These videos weren’t simply montaged clips of artists holding their instruments while ain a studio recording session, they were shortform musical narratives. Back then some of the videos had million dollar budgets capable of bankrupting today’s independent music labels (Koch Records, er, E-1 Entertainment). This was because music videos became the primary promotional tool for records. That’s a dangerous game to play though when you use something visual to convince your ears it is worth your time and engagement. The racket worked for Music Television up until recently.

If videos killed the radio star then the internets killed the music channel. For Music Television to retain the attention of the vaunted 14-24yr old demographic (i.e.: people living in their parent’s homes spending all of their income on material shit) they are going to have to get more modern, not cooler, but hipper. The old people that sit in the offices of Music Television still think that choreographed stunts will keep them as the apple in the eye of the youth. Don’t you ever think for a minute that when Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson’s horrifying breastring at the same exact moment his ‘Rock Your Body’ verse stated “cause I gotta have you naked by the end of this song” that moment wasn’t choreographed? This is the shit they do now. Madonna tongue kissing Britney and Cristina is also their design. Sasha Baron Bruno’s ballsachs on Eminem’s chin is on their resume also.

As the music industry has been transformed by the internets so has Music Television. Viral video clips have replaced programming so instead of producing a themed show the producers at MTV are busy trying to craft a viral video moment. If ou think the exec that liberated Janet’s tittay wasn’t promoted when the smoke cleared you don’t understand the entertainment industry. MTV wants your eyeballs so bad they would do anything. In the high stakes game of dwindling advertising monies I won’t put them above staging anything. Their offices are on BROADWAY for crissakes!

The desire for Music Television is for the spectacle that has responsible people discussing these moments long after their value. One of the main reasons I don’t have cable television (aside from the fact that I can’t afford it) is that I don’t want to hypnotized by Music Television’s vacuous programming. This includes all the MTV substations like MTV2, Vh-1 and B.E.T. Sometimes I have to laugh that Black Entertainment Television is kept in the Viacom’s virtual slave quarters. They receive only the slave portions of programming. Pig’s feet amd chitterlings. B.E.T. recently fired their online editor Andreas Hale. I wonder if it was because he failed to be the company man that Viacom demands, especially of their Black employees.

Look at the Black people that work at MTV as an example. Other than generating lists that relate to rap as well as a Vibe list might they at least have the good sense to forego any individual acclaim. They are called the ‘Brain Trust’ which is certainly an oxymoron in itself, but recently they have renamed themselves the ‘1515 Boyz’. This is hilarious to me since I know that 1515 Broadway is the address of MTV’s headquarters. Since 1515 is the building’s house number aren’t these MTV employees actually referring to themselves as ‘house boys’? Let the internets SMH in unison. There is nothing good that will come from Music Television. Nothing but a choreographed circus.

Hip-Hop isn’t dead, but MTV is.

I Wasn’t ‘Bored To Death’…

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

btd wine

Before I talk about the new show that HBO is debuting this weekend I have to tell you my situation. I’m a few days in front of my next paycheck and I’m crawling to the finish line. The only thing saving me in these times are the marketing companies that have listening events or preview parties with free food and drinks. My meal for this day would consist of pizza, along with beef, pork, chicken and fish tacos (ugh, why did I do the fish?). The Hof Brau Dunkel dark lager was deee-effin’-lish. Plus, it had the word Dunk in it’s name. Free food for the motherfuckin’ win everytime. Now that I have taken the edge off I’m ready to watch some television.

HBO has yet to recreate a comedic series as monumentally genius as ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’, but bless their hearts for continually trying. I wasn’t into the ‘Eastbound & Down‘ premiere as much. Don’t get it twisted, I fux with DANNY McBRIDE hardbody, but the writing for that show was visibly cliche to my senses. I was waiting for the rubber chicken to get pulled out. The new series ‘Bored To Death’ is way more watchable and should be a decent post-Curb treat.

The writing for ‘Bored To Death’ isn’t as under the radar smart as ‘Flight Of The Conchords’ (tragically slept on hilarity), but the punchlines and sight gags still snap and pop regularly. The creator and lead writer JONATHAN AMES lives in the urban fiction writer culture of white wine, sex and weed (stuffwhitepeoplelike) so he effortlessly describes it in the show. JASON SCHWARTZMAN plays the lead character who shares the same name as the show’s creator, along with his best buddy played by ZACH GALIFIANAKIS and his boss, for whom the classic TED DANSON has been cast, we have a nice little ensemble ready for the shenanigans to commence.

btd weed

ZACH’s character is a sex obsessed comic book artist, while DANSON is a pot-obsessed magazine editor. The deal with SCHWARTZMAN’s character is he is into the reisling a little too much. How can you be too much into reisling? I don’t know either but I will play along for the sake of laughs that should come from wino humor. Which is something AMES should add to the series now that I think about it. If the lead character is so heavy into his wines that his lady is forced to leave him he should also dabble in the bumwines a bit. That would give a nice little urban edge to this series.

DANSON and GALIFIANAKIS are scene stealers and the situations the lead character puts himself in will bring out the LOLs. I like the idea that the lead is an open minded recreational drug user. So much that he even considers smoking crystal meth. It’s funny to me because the character is supposed to be 30yrs old and not 21 (which is the ONLY age to be a legal recreational drug user). He’s too old to still be this irresponsible, but that is the story of so many other 30yr olds nowadays. JONATHAN AMES did it all so that hopefully you won’t have to make the same mistakes as him. Wine, weed and sex. It’s a wonderful lifestyle if you can live it.

btd sex

Tuesday Is The New Friday…

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

mtn dew

This has been a recurring theme as of late. NYC pisses me off when they make all the awesome shit on one night. There was an obama* at the Chelsea hotel that my homey was going to (after we both agreed to connect.politic.ditto @ this other spot). There was the official issue album release party spaceship thrown for Kid Cudi’s debut disk. Lastly there was the Roots Jam Session @ The Highline Ballroom which can be an obama x buffet if I get the golden ticket (Thx G).

*Are we all still clear that when I say “obama” I am referring to an event with an open bar?

So I was making my way to the first obama in SoHo. I cut through Grand Street from the D train stop to the westside by walking in Little Italy. The San Gennaro feast is just getting underway. That is the technical last rites of summer jumpoff. I’m getting ready for the new year. I want to do something new next year. I want to do the good things all over again. Tonight was going to be fun like opnly New York City can be. The first stop was the Etnies showroom.

Etnies exists in my mind as a streetwear brand that never really had any hardbody edge. I’ve seen the brand everywhere and I still couldn’t tell you where to copp their shit. T.J.Maxx maybe. I love that place. Anyhoo, etnies makes sk8boarder kicks with the best of them. Definitely on par with DC. The just stepped their gear game up to 100 with a New Era collabo and some graphic tees that were dope. A bunch of folks at etnies get it now so we need to keep an eye on their 2010 grind. Right now the etnies showroom is acting as an art gallery for this shit my peoples at Mountain Dew put together. Graphic artists have designed six(6) slick aluminum cans for the Green Label Art project.

Internets, link up with me this Friday @ etnies showroom for the STEPHEN BLISS live exhibit where we will paint with the dude who created the artwork for Rockstar games Grand Theft Auto series. Plus we will drink as much MTN DEW as we want and possible enjoy more free prosecco or at least beer. You wanna go on Friday too to come up on a set of the limited edition cans. After I finish the MTN DEW inside I will have an awesome can to use tio hold my dreams or my nightmares. Speaking of dreams and nightmares…

The Kid Cudi listening party was effin’ bananabread soaked in Grey Goose with cranberry x pineapple juice. Bad behavior, music industry mogulatry, and dancing while standing on couches were all included. This joint was off the meatrack and that is saying something too since the hotel was in the meatpacking district [ll]. I was actually saved by pre-gaming at the etnies showroom. If I had been drinking vodka for four straight hours I would have been a wild manimal. I see you Peso.

But how could it stop there? It couldn’t stop, because this is New York City and it doesn’t stop. I walked past the old site for Mars which was the home of the legendary Trip parties from the early 1990s. There is a vacant lot there now which will soon be some high rent hotel fuckery. God bless the Liberty Inn across the street and their hourly rates. The Liberty is the classic spot to take your Martin Luther King Jr. holiday weekend jumpoff to, or anything you are lucky to come up on for that ‘hit it and quit it’ maneuver.

That ain’t the move tonight for me though. I am making a beeline to the Highline. I’m like a moth and Roots crew has the light. Put ya’ lighters up party people. Dice Raw, DJ Marley Marl, Craig G, Lords Of The Underground and Jay Electronica all touched the microphone. Black Thought did the usual move where he gets in the pocket and shreds the speakers with his speaking. Raheem DeVaughn came through and blew a little beautiful into the mic speakers too. The Roots Jam Session is my mental state health insurance plan. The $10 is the co-pay.

Roots @ Highline Ballroom: if you haven’t already.

Man On The Moon > Martian…

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

cudi

Who the hell thought being a Martian was some fly shit? We don’t even know if there are any advantages to being a Martian either other than being pwn3d by Bugs Bunny.

For my money, I’d rather be a robot or a man on the moon. Being a man on the moon just gained some more exclusivity too since the famed lunar walk in 1969 may not have actually happened. Let’s all be honest and admit that after looking at the picture of Lil’ Wang giving Baby a close-eyed mouth to mouth kiss the planet these two are coming from is prA’li Uranus. [ll].

*rimshot*

Super-uber [ll] to rimshots.

I was fuxing with Kid Cudi from the start. Back in 2007 the song ‘Day N-Nite’ was the hipster trip-Hop anthem of the summer. The Crookers remix was mah sheeet. It was a quirky rap song that made me smile. Rap doesn’t have to be so angry all the time. Sometimes it can be introspective, or reflective or simple. Simple as that.


Simple As…

On the first listen of the Kid Cudi album I wanted to say that this joint was 808’s Deux, but after a few spins I want to call this joint the continuation of Graduation. Grad school, if you will. Cudi is the carefree MSAT. It’s like getting a grad degree by doing a thesis on what happens when you get hopped up on psychedelic drugs and stare at a Takashi Murakami painting for 12 straight hours. I remember being on mushrooms and watching the Home Shopping Network for an entire day. I nearly bought about fifty fugazi gold chains. Because they were REALLY golden looking.

Mr.Solo Dolo

The Man On The Moon isn’t about making bad decisions while your high. You won’t be mouf kissing your mentor (who you also call your daddy), instead you will be looking inside of your soul for who you want to be in this life. Kid Cudi reminds me of myself because he is like the kid that doesn’t need anyone else on the planet to validate who he wants to be. Ultimately he is a loner who just touches down for a short while to connect with his peeps and then he blasts off again. The music from The Man On The Moon is that intergalactic punk funk that Common was looking to create for his last album.

Enter Galactic (Love Connection pt.1)

Common does a great job narrating the album like a tourguide through the Kid Cudi mental motherboard similar to the character that guided Bill & Ted through their most historical travels. The album is dope future sounds. It isn’t for the didactic boom bap dinosaur rap fan. If you are a Robot x Roofies rap fan like me then you will enjoy this CD. The production from Plain Pat, Emile, RATATAT and of course ‘Ye Tudda is all cohesive for this project. New Millenial New Wave rap never sounded better. There won’t be another CD this genuinely eclectic or incredibly esoteric in a long time. After all, it has taken 40 years to put someone else back on the moon.

Up Up & Away

Endnote: This project had me the second I saw the cover art from Bill Sienkiewicz.

cudi

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Monday, September 14th, 2009

rg

The 2009 NFL season has kicked off in glorious fashion. My Cowboys are undefeated as well as my cousin’s Green Bay Packers squad. There were a couple of Wk 1 games that were decided in the final two minutes. None were more dramatic than the Patriots win over their division rivals the Buffalo Bills.

I’m excited for everyone that signed up for the DP.com Football pool this year. I can’t remember if this is our third annual or fourth annual pool but I am thankful for all the new and the familiar poolers that are throwing in their picks. It isn’t just a pair of sneakers that you will be winning from me but the honor of being the king of the hill and bragging rights until we run the NCAA Final 4 tourney pool.

Let’s take a quick look at the leader board…

titansfan78 – 13
Ryan Grant’s cuzzo – 11
Jesse – 11
Flacco’s Mighty Unibrow – 10
cocotaso – 10
Angela Propertalks – 10
9 poolers tied with 9
12 poolers tied with 8

These results will change slightly by tomorrow night after the Monday night games are factored in. My word of advice to ALL the poolers is to stay locked in to the games because even if you miss a week or two you can still win this tournament.