Archive for February, 2007

PAUL WALL: Black Like Me

Thursday, February 22nd, 2007

pall wizzall

PAUL WALL and my favorite rapper RAEKWON travel to Africa to witness firsthand the mining process in the global diamond trade. I thought it was fitting that a Wu leader would make this trip since the Wu were the rappers that first used the word ice to represent diamonds and their lust for the semi-precious stones. PAUL WALL seems like a good choice for this journey as well since his claim to fame in most rap music circles is the fact that he used to make tooth veneers out of semi-precious metals and stones.

VH-1(the home of Hip-Hop video programming) will begin airing one of their original series rock-docs tonight called called ‘Bling’d: Blood Diamonds and Hip-Hop‘ that documents the rappers trip to Sierra Leone in Africa. I will admit to you that I am a little nervous about endorsing this show based on all of the other trash content that Viacom broadcasts when Hip-Hop is concerned, but I will give at a shot for at least tonight. I’ve seen outlets that have recently blamed Hip-Hop music for the global obsession with diamonds as if the conceit only began when kids from the Bronx dreamed of living lavishly. People are quick to forget television programs like ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’ which documented all the things that the rich do with their money, but never once illustrated how the rich exploit the poor to gain their wealth.

I can’t believe that this journey won’t transform these artists as humans. Maybe they will make better music because of it. If PAUL WALL learns to rhyme from RAEKWON then this could be the best thing evar. I knew there was a reason we asked PAUL WALL to put our website name inside of his grill.

pall wizzall

The Lezzie, The Nazi And The Nigerian…

Thursday, February 22nd, 2007

obama

It’s politricks as usual bitches, but this time it’s for the motherlode. The whole enchilada. The unsurpassable corner office. The transcendant(whoever uses this word after me should kill themself) boss of bosses. Yep, it’s all about the White House. For DP Dot Com’s first installation of the run up until Election 2008 we thought we’d highlight the superstars that have thrown their hats into the ring for office of president of the United States.

This trifecta features the former New York City mayor who is making a last gasp, last grasp at a return to political glory. The lustre on his forehead post-911 is starting to fade and tarnish. Presidential campaigns are nasty affairs so I hope that his son’s public drooling problem has been rectified. There’s also the foxy former first lady who brought sexy back to pantsuits like she was the blonde STEPHANIE ZIMBALIST. Nevermind the fact that she is a reverse carpetbagger from Arkansas, this lady is never hustling backwards. She’s learned the game from one of the slickest Willys to ever throw the dice. Lastly, is the campaign’s true dark horse, although some will say that he still isn’t dark enough. How does a junior Senator leapfrog over a dozen or more well known names. He learns to present himself as “articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.

Fuck all the rhetorical bullshit. I’m a simple American with simple values like life, liberty and internets neutrality. It shouldn’t be too dificult for any of the three scallywag oppurtunists pictured above to be better administrators than the man in office now. Unfortunately, President BUSH has set the bar that low. But I still need to make sure that I am making an informed and responsible choice when I step inside the voting booth. It’s times like these that I really miss not having one of my best resources available for consultation.

OL’ DIRTY BASTARD – R.I.P. RUSSELL JONES

What would Dirt McGirt do in this situation? Lucky for me I have a handy online Wu Tang name generator. The candidate with the most hardbody Wu Tang name is the one that I will cast my vote with. Let’s look at the results…

  • RUDOLPH GIULIANI = Amateur Artist
  • HILLARY CLINTON = Mighty Menace***
  • BARACK OBAMA = Annoyin’ Swami
  • So without any catastrophic changes to her campaign strategy(read: skirts) HILLARY CLINTON will have garnered the votes of the mostly Black Republican staff here at DALLAS PENN DOT COM. Just as well anyhoo for GUILIANI and OBAMA since there hasn’t been a president elected with a vowel sound ending their last name. You could include McKINLEY and KENNEDY if you want, but they both got clapped on, and I’m not talking about applause.

    THE BULLET RIDDLED TEARS OF A CLOWN…

    Thursday, February 22nd, 2007

    clown tears

    Good morning party people.

    Here’s a little bit of WHAT THE FUCK?!? to get your morning started.

    Colombia clowns killed on stage

    My first question is what the fuck has happened in the history of the Colombian nation where being a circus clown is the deadliest professional vocation. Druglords aren’t getting merc’ked in Medellin as much as circus clowns are. WTF?!?

    The Daily Show Celebrates Black History Month…

    Wednesday, February 21st, 2007

    daily show

    Who knew that these dudes even knew Black people existed?!?

    Thank GOD for February.







    DP Dot Com Is For The Kids…

    Wednesday, February 21st, 2007

    dora

    Real talk is that I was sick to my stomach when I saw this toy that is being marketed to little girls. Now I know why this character is called ‘Dora The Explorer’.

    Now don’t try and tell me that I am reading too much into this thing because I’m not the guy who developed this piece of crap. How else do children become hyper-sexualized in our society? It’s not like children’s programming was ever benign from sexual references, but when was it ever this overt? What really blew my mind (no Pokemon) was when I saw that they were made for boys as well. And Rome wept…

    boots