Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

DALLASPENN.COM: The Monday Morning Quarterback

Monday, September 18th, 2006

foosball

Shouts go out to CANDICE for running the table on last week’s football pool.
The season has just begun so we are all still in the running to be number one. Take a cue from LM who is a ‘Skins fan but knew well enough to bet against them in order to win the pool. PETE ROSE would be proud of you LM. Here are the current standings for the DP dot com football poolers…

CANDICE = 7 pts
AMADEO = 6 pts
FIN = 5pts
LM = 5 pts
EL-A from the D = 5 pts
Mr. KAMOJI = 5 pts
S DOT = 5 pts
P-CITY = 5 pts
DALLAS = 5 pts
SHONQUAYSHAH = 4 pts
SKEETER VALENTINE = 4 pts
ALEX2.0 = 4 pts

There are fifteen or sixteen more weekends of football so if you want to get in the fun just submit your picks. The next DP dot com football pool post drops on Thursday.

WHO FORGOT THE BLACK OLIVES?!?

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

kkkpizza

I caught this story over the weekend about the re-emergence of one of America’s disturbing icons, the lawn jockey. It seems that people have taken to decorating their homes with these figures as a way of reaching back into the past. Many Americans claim to be so removed from the notion of chattel slavery that the garden ornamentation is only considered a whimsy decoration. That my friends, is that supremacist bullshit we talk about over here.

In New Hampshire, they allow the Director of Ports and Harbors to cuss like a sailor. Apparently the term ‘sandnigger’ isn’t considered racially derogatory since it doesn’t refer to African Americans but instead to people of middle eastern descent who are classified as white by the F.B.I. All I know is that when the governor’s name is JOHN LYNCH no one with one drop of Black blood is safe up in that piece.

Philadelphia’s quarterback, DONOVAN McNABB, continues to make RUSH LIMBAUGH appear to be something more than a drug abusing lard ass.

The DP dot com Football Pool

Thursday, September 14th, 2006

ouch

If I haven’t completely turned you off to watching some football games this season I was hoping that we could start a weekly football pool on the site. I will give the winner some cool shit at the end of the season. Prah’lee something from my apartment that I can’t use or be bothered with. It will be new to you so whatever…

Check it, we won’t use spreads or over/unders here. Straight up outright wins is all you need to predict. I’m not looking at every game just the ones that I think we care about. Here’s week 2’s lineup…

BUFFALO BILLS @ MIAMI DOLPHINS

Neither of these clubs are considered championship caliber, but neither wants to begin the season 0-2. I predict the BILLS.

DETROIT LIONS @ CHICAGO BEARS

Even though the BEARS whupped on BRETT FAVRE and the Pack I am going with the road team again. LIONS in a close one.

N.Y. GIANTS @ PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

N.F.C. East is the toughest division in the NFL. The EAGLES soared last week against HOUSTON and I think they will keep flying high when the GIANTS come to town. GIANTS lose and go to 0-2.

OAKLAND RAIDERS @ BALTIMORE RAVENS

The Raiders are worse that I thought. I expect RANDY MOSS to be in jail before the season is over. RAVENS roll.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS @ ATLANTA FALCONS
Ron Mexico has always had a tough time with Tampa, but this Tampa team couldn’t crush a grape in fruit fight. FALCONS get the win.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS @ DENVER BRONCOS
K.C. is the medicine that the BRONCOS are looking for to get their first win. HERM EDWARDS should keep the renovations at his new home in Johnson County to a minimum. BRONCOS stampede at Mile High.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS @ DALLAS COWBOYS
Dallas and Washington will both be desperate for a win this weekend. I predicted that the COWBOYS would be 12-4 this season and not 4-12. I need this win badly. COWBOYS scalp the ‘SKINS.

That was easy enough. What are your picks?

WE ARE FAMILY…

Sunday, September 10th, 2006

sisters

I got an interesting e-mail the other day from a reader who asked if I hated women. That seemed a bit odd to me since I don’t think I’m any less progressive when it comes to treating the women in my life with love, consideration, and respect. I chalked that readers question up to being someone unfamiliar with this space and some of the ideas that pass through here for discussion sake. What I did realize is that there are a significant number of females that inspire the writing on these pages. You all should know Glamazon and That Girl Tam by now since they have been down for a minute. Glam actually freaks a quiet little place called 2 8 3 0. Thats the place where she gets to be herself, far away from the bright lights of Hollywood.

There are a couple of new heads in the game and I would like to talk about them for a second and direct you to their pages. Hopefully you will take some time to extend them some of the love that you have given me. Your comments mean so much to a new weblog writer. Ultimately, that’s the currency that we all write for.

CRUNK and Disorderly alum ALEX2.0 has jumped out the veritable window with her site, Stuck in a Quarter Life Crisis. Already in only her first month she has inspired the upcoming DP dot com feature series titled, WIG OWNERS > WIG BRUSHERS. Fellas should take note that ALEX2.0 is a rabid football fan and she might ignore you if you try to talk to her during a Dolphins game.

GEE, The Insurgent Scrapbooker is a stay-at-home, entreprenuerial mom that still acts like she’s 16. I find myself cracking up as she translates U.S. slang into Swedish and back. DP dot com rolls with a valid passport and so should you.

One of the surefire ways to hook me into your site will be a kooky name. UNRULY BROWN did the trick and I was pleasantly surprised to see that the writing was serious and yet whimsical. She is a mixture of tomboy and trickster as she recants her youth through story after hilarious story.

Last, and certainly not least is NINA 9-Milimeter. Her space in the blog universe is titled The Freakquency and she had me from the word go. NINA is fuckin’ crazy on the real. She lets us into her mind as we see her spar with her ego and her id. Not too many people would be honest enough to show you that dialogue, but NINA is fearless like that. I am sure that’s why I dig her blog and also because she is a renaissance bitch.

DAMN, WE’RE GOOD!

Monday, September 4th, 2006

metsan

Best record in the bigs boyee!

Just wanted to tell you humps that WILLIE RANDOLPH is going to be the National League Manager of the Year.

Carry on.

metsan