Archive for May, 2005

VOTE or DIET!

Wednesday, May 25th, 2005

On Sunday I kicked off my most earnest diet program to date. I am eating nothing but fruits(no homo) and vegetables and I am not drinking alcohol or sugar-flavored beverages. I will also be sniffing an eight ball of cocaine every four days and smoking a pack of red box Marlboro cigarettes at least once […]

DIE ESSENCE DIE!

Tuesday, May 24th, 2005

ESSENCE Magazine is continuing their program of perpetuating mock victimization by masking the real issues with hyper-consumerism. The latest issue features the new prototype of Black manhood, USHER RAYMOND, on the cover. As usual the editors at ESSENCE have devised a byline for the cover that will titillate the senses of Black women everywhere – […]

DARTH VADER is the Baddest Motherfucker of All Time!

Monday, May 16th, 2005

Here I am all juiced up to go to the Ziegfield Theater for the midnite showing of the latest STAR WARS film. My girlfriend is a movie industry cog and she hooked me up with a pass for the night. Nevermind the fact that I am going to go with one of her co-workers who […]

MICHAEL JACKSON is B.A.D.!

Sunday, May 15th, 2005

MICHAEL JACKSON’s trial is entering it’s seventh year and it is becoming more obvious to me this dude has issues worse than his love for sniffing little boys’ pissy underoos. I was watching VH-1 with my ladyfriend and we saw his video for that crappy song ‘You Are Not Alone’. His pasty completion and his […]

WU-TANG Forever

Saturday, May 14th, 2005

From now on you all you beeyatches must refer to me as PHANTOM WARRIOR when you see me in the streets. I went to this website to look up my WU-TANG name. Burn a candle for my brother RUSSELL JONES. This is the tenth anniversary of the release of his classic and seminal Hip-Hop album, […]