Archive for October, 2004


Thursday, October 7th, 2004

The debate continues all across America, but I am not referring to the presidential debates, or even the question that Miller Lite beer raises of ‘tastes great’ as opposed to ‘less filling’. This issue is the hot button question for the new millenium. I ask you all which you prefer – a friend with benefits or, a fuck buddy?

Before you answer that question let’s examine the candidates…

An FWB is something of a 90’s phenomenon inspired by the hit television show F.R.I.E.N.D.S. An FWB is supposed to be able to help fill in for a boyfriend/girlfriend on several accounts. An FWB has a full account of your friends and family. An FWB may even occasionally have to shake your boyfriend’s hand or kiss your girlfriend on her cheek. FWB’s are also supposed to be able to help you shop for that same boyfriend/girlfriend.
The benefit in being an FWB is the sexual intimacy. The intimacy is also supposed to be unplanned and unscheduled(for you ladies, the comment “oops, I just fell on his dick!” would be appropriate). The second benefit of the FWB staus is that the intimacy does not require any emotional consideration. The existing friendship threshhold is not exceeded or surpassed(for you fellas, this means NO Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner requirement for you with your FWB).

The FWB is a favored lifestyle for post-college, post-coital twenty-somethings who watch a lot of SEX and the CITY and shop at CENTURY 21. An FWB will help you paint your apartment. An FWB will cook you a nice dinner

An FB will be more than satisfied with the chinese food leftovers and the Heinekin inside the fridge. The FB was formerly known as ‘the booty call’. The FB’s only requirement is that he/she be ready for action at the pre-determined time and location. Ideally, the FB does not know anyone in any of your circles. Imagine the excitement in having regular sex with a virtual stranger(guys digg this, so do most of you ladies). There can be no date-like scenario with an FB. No bars, restaurants or movies are allowed. ERIN G., a frequent contributor to the weblog says that the only home movies acceptable for FB status personnel are plot-free pornos.

Even a missed ‘appointment’ is not supposed to be ruinous for FB’s. Although the FB is described to have a ‘no-strings attachment’ to its designation, it should be noted that its regularity and predictablility makes it a quasi-relationship. Many people in their mid-thirties and beyond say that FB’s are what’s really good.

Now I return to my original question… which do you prefer? The FWB or the FB?

Surprisingly enough, more and more women have been selecting the FB lever when they step into the relationship voting booth. For this explanation, people point to several revolutions that have come to evolution. The feminist, sexual and divorce phenomena have caused women to believe less and less in the possibility of one mate for life. Women have switched their priorities to focus more on attainable individual success, as opposed to family building.

Men have been equally emotionally disconnected from years of sexual programming that included silk robes and bunny symbolism up to the current Black male = pimp or Black male = D.L. brotha mainstream media marketing campaigns.

I want to know what you feel and what you think the future holds for all relationships. I myself will not date, because dating is a catch all term for everything from a platonic friendship to full blown anal intercourse.

I do still believe in love, but I think the rest of y’all are in trouble…