Archive for February, 2005

« Older Entries

HAPPY VALENTIME’s DAY!

Monday, February 14th, 2005

NIGGAS IS LIFE!
NIGGAS IS LOVE!
NIGGAS IS A BEAUTIFUL THING!

I HATE NIGGAS!

O.K., O.K., my badd, let me be clear. I don’t hate niggas(of any color), but I do have hate for anybody that called Febraury 14th ‘ValenTIME’s Day’. It is just a little thing that I have with me. I imagine that person to have been left back in the third or fourth grade. I also imagine that person to use the word ‘strimps’ to describe a type of shellfish and to also pronounce the word ‘liked’ in two or even THREE syllables, i.e. “I really likedidid that strimp dinner you bought me for Valentime’s Day last year”. Unfortunately for me, these are the types of women that you have to date when you weigh 325lbs.

Now don’t get it twisted, I majored in Architecture when I was enrolled in college and I am not some maniac for spelling, grammar or pronunciation, but there is just some shit that I can not fuck with. I do LOVE how all the peoples of color can bend and contract this english language to make it this thing that fits any groove. I do LOVE how folks have taken to phoenetically writing slang terms like ‘Prah’Lee’ and ‘Nah’Mean’. I just hate when people fuck up the name for the ONE corporate-sanctioned day of the year that LOVE reigns supreme.

Posted in Black Bullshit, Social Upheaval | 1 Comment »

Sexual Chocolate

Sunday, February 13th, 2005

If you have a global conciousness then you are probably upset by the senseless and selfless items that are marketed in America for Valentine’s Day. The chocolate that comes in that ‘V’ shaped box(the heart is actually oval-shaped) could more than likely be from cocoa plants in Africa. The cultivation of these plants is another example of the longstanding global policy of exploiting Africa. The farmers are paid $100 bucks per family compared to the $13 billion dollars that these crops generate annually in the U.S. alone. Crazy shit like kidnappings and child slave labor are the order of the day when it comes to producing these crops. Fuck what I say, peep this website.

And when you talk about children being kidnapped, who does it better than the diamond traders throughout Africa??? Children are routinely butchered and maimed to intimidate their families to work extra hours in the dangerous diamond mines. I hung out with a Nigerian rapper this past summer and he asked me if I thought that U.S. rappers would be so brazen in their quest for jewelry if they knew the actual human toll that the diamond trade costs. I had to laugh in his face. In the rest of the world rappers are the truth speakers and on the frontline with freedom fighters. In America, they are one of the tools used to keep people poor and stupid. With all the money that is spent by the entertainment industry to sell these stones I don’t see how a regular person could resist the desire to be ‘iced’ up. My truth is that I lost all hope for civilization once niggas started putting diamonds inside spinning car wheels.

ZALES CORP. issued this webpage that described what ‘conflict’ diamonds are and why they don’t sell them any longer(hmmm…)

Posted in Social Upheaval | 1 Comment »

WILL SMITH = SAMMY DAVIS Jr. = BAGGER VANCE

Saturday, February 12th, 2005

the Negroidian thespian

The FRESH PRINCE has another movie dropping this weekend. When I am long gone from this planet I am confident that Will Smith is going to named a patron saint for all the work that he has done to help white get their shit together. From MEN IN BLACK, to BAGGER VANCE, to HITCH, The FRESH PRINCE has been putting in work. FRESH PRINCE follows in a long line of Black men that have been ready to take a beating, or even the bullet for their benefactors. Here’s the short list…

1) JUPITER was the name of Thomas Jefferson’s personal slave, er… valet
2) SAMMY DAVIS Jr. was an incredibly talented munchkin mascot for the Rat Pack
3) BILL COSBY held ROBERT CULP’s jockstrap on I SPY
4) Mr.T’s B.A. BARACUS could protect a whole battalion of lame white(the A-TEAM)
5) CHEWBACCA was forced to talk ebonics Wookie style to HAN SOLO
6) Dr.DRE took a witty-rhyming, dirty backpacker to the top of the world

I am sure that you have your personal faves but we should all agree that FRESH PRINCE is on his way to sainthood status. I remember FRESH PRINCE and JAZZY JEFF performing one friday night at a club called UNION SQUARE. FRESH PRINCE wore a Le COQ SPORTIF sweatsuit and he had this super-chiseled Cameo cut. I still own the POLO rugby that I wore back in 1986, but I doubt that FRESH PRINCE still has that Le COQ sweatshirt. Well, I guess we can see who the loser is?

Posted in Crappers, Ghetto Celebs | No Comments »

CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!?

Friday, February 11th, 2005

Gangsta Love
I will admit to being a little disappointed in the truce that 50_CENT and GAME have brokered amongst themselves. I wanted to see some bloodshed, particularly, GAME’s death, since my favorite rock band from Brooklyn was called GAME until that rapper and his big bucks at SONY shut them down. The band is now called GAME REBELLION and I think it’s appropriate since that is what they are doing. They are singlehandedly changing the direction of the rap game, but I digress…

I had it all planned out. I was culling numbers from database websites on how many people were killed during the four days that 50’s latest album sold a reported 1.5 million copies. I was going to compare those numbers to the amount of people killed on the same four days a month prior, then a year prior. It was going to be one of the great new indictments of modern U.S. rap music. Now my weblog piece is ruined by this peace in the rap community.

50_CENT donated $150,000 dollars to the HARLEM BOYS CHOIR which
amounts to approx. one penny from each unit sale of his CD/DVD. If you understand the economics of the music industry then you can appreciate how big each penny really is to the artist’s ‘take home’ monies. After SONY takes 75 percent of the sales from off the top, then INTERSCOPE comes in to smash FIFTY for twenty percent. The remaining 5 percent has to see AFTERMATH, then SHADY RECORDS before FIFTY can feed his family of administrators, lawyers, publicists, stylists and bodyguards.

The real issue that my eyes have been opened to is how modern U.S. rap music directly, and indirectly, feeds the prison industrial complex. We are witnessing a generation of youth that seriously believe that illicit activity can generate a sufficient number of funds to provide a lifestyle on par with a celebrity. It is a theme repeated ad naseum by the rap music and it’s co-defendant, video imagery. A corporate entity like VIACOM which owns MTV and holds shares in Indiana-based, EMMIS BROADCASTING would probably also be invested in the privatization of correctional facilities. Correctional facilities are a burgeoning source of labor(State Property = slavery). I am not sure which corporation owns CONDE NAST publications, but I was told that
they use the Cayuga County Detention Facility(upstate New York) as their customer service center for subscription processing.

At what point will we wait for to assume control of our music and our community?

Posted in Crappers, Ghetto Celebs | 1 Comment »

Celebrate white History Month

Friday, February 11th, 2005

dallaspenn.com is for the children
My boy Tee has criticized me for being to Black-centric in these weblogs. I have tried to explain to him that I am not a racist and that I have friends that are white. My pest exterminator is white, my accountant is white, my doctor is white, hell, my favorite deejays are white dudes. Well, actually they’re both jewish, which is only considered as white to Blacks. Nazis and Klansmen won’t consider them white and this confuses me somewhat as to what exactly is white. I have an idea and I am hoping that you all will support me in this endeavor.

I propose a WHITE HISTORY MONTH where we can learn about all things really white. I want to relinquish February to WHITE HISTORY MONTH because I think that it has all the features that will prove a suitable host month for the celebration. February is cold as shit and I have seen white jogging around London in shorts during this month. February also gets a lot of snow and I think that is a perfect backdrop for celebrating whiteness. Now I understand that the February month is also the shortest month of the year and I wouldn’t want white to feel somehow shortchanged by the brevity. So we can eventually switch WHITE HISTORY MONTH to January or March once they have enough people to put on posters for their humanitarian achievements. I have already filed the necessary paperwork to formally switch BLACK HISTORY MONTH to August. It’s currently called HARLEM WEEK.

Posted in Black Bullshit | 2 Comments »

« Older Entries