Archive for September, 2006


Friday, September 29th, 2006


Being around friends as you dance like a 16yr. old without a care in the world.

Holler at me if you stop by tonight.

TriBeCa Cinemas
54 Varick Street
(one block south of Canal Street)
for more info/RSVP – 212.767.9174

DALLASPENN.COM: It’s Ya’ Birthday! Who The Fuck Cares?!?!?

Thursday, September 28th, 2006

billy sunday

I am in a totally shitty mood right now. On my way home from work I watched the subway conductor dehumanize a disabled passenger by calling him ‘wheelchair’. As opposed to mister or even mister wheelchair. The conductor also argued with another passenger who he instructed to move from the area that was to be occupied by the wheelchair passenger. I guess the conductor was fresh out of niceties for the day because he was steady pissing everyone off.

When I exited the subway I was greeted with the screeching catterwall of some woman arguing with someone while she was on her cell phone. As she cursed the person in a style that is unimitable save for ‘Angry Black Women’, she upset my stomach. It was like the wail of a harpie. Her pitch was so high and shrieking that I begun to lose my balance. If there were any dogs close by I am sure that their ears would have bled.

Finally, inside the relative peace and tranquility that is my apartment and of course there are phone messages to listen to. Unfortunately, none are from family or friends wishing me a happy new year. This new year begins much like years past as I try to figure out a way to escape this mountain of debt and depression. At least I have you good folks. You guys keep me from even considering T.O.’ing up in this bitch. You humps better buy the book when it drops.

Anyhoo, if you want to do something nice for the kid today do me a favor and put some change in the cup of a homeless bum. But for the grace of GOD, there go I.


Thursday, September 28th, 2006


From the chaotic aftermath of an intergalactic meteor impact an order emerges unlike any other. These is an explosion of forms never before seen. Suddenly, all combinations are possible. Animals fuse with other animals. Plants fuse with minerals. Beings and objects fuse with early ancestors of themselves. This is the rise of the hybrids.

Air Max 90, Air Max 95 and Air Max 97 all converge with the latest NIKE Technology, the Air Max 360, to create a series of legendary products. Premium leathers with no rubber or foam, only air that offer NIKE’s most smoothest and durable ride ever.

Watch parts 1-3 to get the full story.




You do understand that these new NIKE releases were timed to coincide with my birthday today? Peep the entire lineup of ‘One Time Only’ shoes and the stores that they will be available at.
(link from Freshness Mag dot com)

The DP Dot Com Football Pool (Wk 4)

Thursday, September 28th, 2006

the Dome

or, Are You Ready For Some POVERTY?!?!

I am piggybacking on a theme from my boy VIK regarding the Monday Night Football game at the Louisiana SuperDome. How fucked up am I that I watched the game despite my abject disgust about how the capital construction dollars slated to rebuild New Orleans have been abused and misused. I should have turned that game off before the kickoff. Instead I watched it until the end. It turns out that I wasn’t the only one caught up in the homecoming hoopla propaganda. That’s why I have decided to give at least $200 dollars to a charity based in New Orleans at the end of the football season. This will match the monies I expect to spend on buying the winner of the pool a pair of custom made DP dot com Air Max, and it will help to slightly absolve my guilty conscience that enjoys watching football from my home while the city that the game was played in is plagued with rampant homelessness. Uhhh, err, now that everyone is feeling good, let’s look at this week’s pool games…

Suicide, it’s a suicide. Wah-dah-dah-day-wah-dah-dah-dah-dah-day. The COWBOYS run this Hip-Hop shit even with TERRELL OWENS corpse.

The JETS coach was part of a Patriots regime that knew how to get into that little bad place inside PEYTON MANNING’s mind. Despite that fact, and the rousing victory in Buffalo, the JETS will return to the Earth this weekend.

What appears to be two teams moving in seperate directions is actually two teams on different roads to Sucksville. The DOLPHINS are taking the Greyhound bus, while the TEXANS are going by Amtrak. At the end of the season they’ll both be there together, but the TEXANS got there first.


I am patiently waiting for the wheels to fall off this Baltimore bandwagon and this should be the week that I finally get my wish. No offense to my good friend, B’More’s own AMADEO, but that is the problem that I have with Baltimore, no offense. Wasn’t Coach BILLICK an offensive coordinator? I hope LaDANIAN TOMLINSON runs a new azzhole into RAY LEWIS (no KORDELL STEWART)


Regrettably continuing the above theme, there are only two things that come from Kansas City – steers and queers. And the only thing coming from ‘Frisco are flaming queers so it looks like the 49ers will be the victors for the 2006 Brokeback Bowl.


I’d like to think that LM’s hometown club could pull off the upset here, but I know better. JAGS bite ‘SKINS.


For all of those years that Cincinnati was considered one of the crappiest towns in Ohio I see these BENGALS fighting hard to restore the dignity to TIM KRUMRIE. The Patriots TOM BRADY can only wish he had the receiving corps that CARSON PALMER plays with.

You know how we do bitches, so drop it like its’ hot.


Wednesday, September 27th, 2006


I’m not sure who had a bigger crush on EN VOGUE, me or PHIFE from a Tribe Called Quest. To my credit, I was in love with ALL of them. Of course CINDY was on the top of my list. Who in their rabbit azz mind wouldn’t want to smash a California beauty pageant queen? DAWN was hot, but I couldn’t really fuck with all the piercings and rock girl bullshit aesthetic that she morphed into post-Lucy Pearl. TERRY was my real love though. She seemed quiet and shy. Those are usually the girls that like anal.

My enfatuation subsided somewhat when my mother gave me a video for my birthday that featured EN VOGUE up close and personal. The ladies were a bit too up close with no make up or hair pieces on and a little too personal as they trash talked to one another chain smoked throughout the tape. It was my first little taste of the reality behind show business. I’ve come around to liking EN VOGUE again, just not with the same fervor in which I was willing to commit crimes for them.

At some point in my writing career I may have a chance to smash one of the girls from E.V. It won’t matter to me how old she is either. Post-menopausal women can certainly get it too. Y’all know how we do!?!