Archive for December, 2004

Tsunami Economy

Thursday, December 30th, 2004

NIKE employees
The tidal waves that have killed tens of thousands of people in South East Asia were terrible. Mass graves are always really sad no matter what the cause. Whether it was an earthquake or a tidal wave or two airliners crashing into skyscrapers, it will be a sucky ass New Year for a grip of families. Even though I lost no one directly in this tragedy(because I won’t count the relatives of the Thai prostitutes that I frequent in Flushing Queens) I still am expecting to feel a financial pinch from the aftermath.

I only buy NIKE and TIMBERLAND footwear and these two companies manufacturing bases are centered in South East Asia. Although this tidal wave didn’t destroy the inland factories it did kill many children and young adults who staff those factories. NIKE and TIMBERLAND have already begun their re-staffing efforts in the hopes of continuing and unabated flow of merchandise to the U.S. The problem is that when these manufacturers have to hire adult labor the cost per hour rises from 5cent to 8cent. Don’t be coy when you think about those THREE PENNIES. Any true capitalist will tell you that is a spike in labor costs of more than 66 percent. The new AIR JORDAN 20 was already slated to retail for $250 bucks. This goddamn tsunami is even going to push that price up.

If NIKE and TIMBERLAND think that I am going to pay more money for my ghetto accoutrements…

aw, fuck it, they know that I will pay more.

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Social Upheaval | No Comments »

Celebrate KWAANZAAAA…

Sunday, December 26th, 2004

Yeah I did it and let me tell you why I did it. The president has everyone calling him ‘DUBYA’ because his middle name is Walker. ‘W’ should suffice. It is prudent, conservative and not wasteful and those were supposed to be the precepts of the Republican party anyway. Instead of conserving one of the important natural resources – vowel disbursement, this president has run amok with his spending.

Where’s the consideration for other white that may be from a more vowel-challenged heritage like say, the Czech Republic?!? I am sure there are white in the Czech Rebublic that would give back all their Nazi paraphenalia for a simple vowel, even a ‘Y’. It’s not just foreign white that has an issue with the Bush families wanton vowel depletion but American white as well. Just look no further than the coaching staff for the men’s basketball program at the all-American Duke University. Head coach MIKE KRYZEWSKI and assistant coach STEVE WOJCIECHOWSKI are suffering from this administration’s policies in regards to the alphabet.

That is why I have added more letter A’s to the name KWANZAA. I have adopted a ‘pre-emptive first strike’ vowel stance for anything that I consider inherently Blaack culture. I will let language be my Weapon of Mass Instruction.

Posted in Black Bullshit, Social Upheaval | No Comments »

R.I.P. DIRT McGIRT

Wednesday, December 8th, 2004

R.I.P. Big Baby Jesus
I never got a chance to really open up and show my love to BIG BABY JESUS(OL’ DIRTY). Next to GHOSTFACE, I felt the soundtrack to his life the most. There is so much mental energy that we Black men exert on an everyday basis just to keep from going crazy. The socio-political-economic system that we live under acts like water running down a drain and we struggle daily not to go under. Not that anyone out here has it particularly easy(white included) because when your taxes aren’t paid on time, Uncle Sam will come to your door to get his regardless of your last name. Your last name only determines if he will ring the doorbell or kick in the door.

I should prah’lee give thanks to the WU real quick also. The WU-TANG clan illustrated the diaspora that is the Black Man. The members were individually talented and collectively invincible. Not since PUBLIC ENEMY has there been a group as diversely and intelligently orchestrated. Each member of the clan used their particular style to imprint and transform rap music. The term ‘ice’ belonged to the WU. If you don’t believe me please go copp RAEKWON’s ultra-classic first album also featuring GHOSTFACE KILLAH.

Without the WU-TANG CLAN who could we look for to express Black male unity? The 1980’s wannabe crack dealing reminscent DIPLOMATS? STATE PROPERTY? Isn’t ‘State Property’ the term used for incarcerated slave labor?!? The Gay Unit, oops, I meant to say G-UNIT.

Well all I got to say is one thing to say. ‘Shimmy Shimmy Y’all’. WU-TANG FOREVER!

Posted in Crappers, Ghetto Celebs | No Comments »

The Wild Woodsman pt.II

Wednesday, December 1st, 2004

ASS_QUATCH!
So you must already know that I have returned from my Adirondack Adventure to the city that I love to love. Ten days in the woods with no cell phones, no e-mail and (gasp!) NO eBAY!

I have to admit that I did enjoy the whole back to Earth vibe that my natural neo-hippie girlfriend is into. I washed up in mountain streams. I used maple leaves as toilet paper. We tried to create a lifestyle in the forest just in case the second Bush administration forces us to come up here permanently.

The weather hooked us up too by staying on the warm side of the autumnal season. I got to wear some of my R.L. gear that is only appropriate around a campfire. Plaid wool shirts with suede hunting patches and corduroy collars. I am not sure how many woodsman actually wear cashmere socks but that is what I bring to the game. STYLE FOR LIFE BEEEEYATCHES!

Funky as all hell and with some leaves probably still stuck in my ass, we stopped thru the Woodbury Commons Outlets. I hate how popular these outlet stores have become. People must really think that they are getting a bargain because they flow to these capatalistic encampments by the busload. I have just come from eating nuts and berries and buck-naked-trail-running up in the mountains, but the way I see people raging thru the discount tables in the GUCCI store you would be hard pressed to convince me who is more savage.

Posted in Black Bullshit | 2 Comments »