Archive for April, 2005

Revenge of the Nerds pt.1

Friday, April 22nd, 2005

for the love of Laura
My favorite nerds were always the math geeks. I respected their precision geared intellect and they liked me because I was a jock. Okay, I was more jocular than jock, but I still defended the math geeks from getting atomic wedgies or having their pocket protecters stolen. They kept me from failing Calculus. I remembe rthat I had the most beautiful Geometry tutor when I was 13years old. She was Persian, and gorgeous in that Middle Eastern kind of way. Olive tanned skin and long black curly hair. Lots of hair. Her sideburns
were below her chin line and her eyebrows were so thick she could have
braided them. When I got older I learned that “Persian” was code for Iranian and since Ronald Raygun was still the president people of Middle Eastern descent had to become some generic biblical ethnicity. She was majoring in Economics and Statistics.

How funny the world turns that now an Economics major is revered in some circles more than a physicist. I attribute their popularity to the skill of being precise and scientific with concepts that some of us think we understand. The physicist is precise when relating to atoms and molecular compounds, while the economist is precise when documenting figures like the average annual salaries of women between the ages of 25 and 30. The economist is the nerd that deals with control groups that we can relate to and this makes them a sexy commodity. Several economist nerds were able to pool a bunch of corporate grant money together and this allowed them to fall back for a few years and just do research. They collected data on anything and everything. The result of years of data-mining is contained in the book called ‘FREAKONOMICS’.

One of my favorite projects within this book is the study conducted in California based on the names that Blacks and white choose for their children. Since 1970 the differences in name selections between Black and white has become more pronounced. The study found that since the 1990’s Blacks are twenty times more likely to issue their child a name that is unique EVEN to the Black community. Speaking of unique, the study found more than four(4) disparate spelling variations for the name Unique(incl. Uneek, Uneque, and Uneqqee). Of course these were all Black children.

Because I have said for years that Dallas Penn is for the kids’, I will cut right to the chase and give you a few important links to consider before you name your children. The first one gives you a listing of the top twenty whitest names and the top twenty Blackest names for girls. In other words, these are the most poular names for girls along racial lines…

The following list is for the top twenty names for boys comparing white and Black babies…

In honor of my brother CROSSOVER NEGRO REESE of the STAR & BUC WILD
Morning Show here is the listing of the top twenty ‘crossover’ names. These are the names that had the greatest attraction to both white and Black parents…

ESSENCE Magazine = media bullshit

Saturday, April 16th, 2005

We here at the weblog have decided to lead the charge for progressive reform and change. We are going to address and dismantle several of the supremacist tools that are used to keep the people misinformed, undercapitalized and just plain stupid. To that end we have set our sights upon ESSENCE magazine.

ESSENCE magazine is proudly celebrating it’s 35th year(as are we) and there is still no end to the recidivism promoted by this rag. Even Hip-Hop has had to reflect upon itself after turning 30 years old, albeit Hip-Hop is a pretty immature 30 year old that still prefers it’s bullets over voting ballots. ESSENCE has been a media leader in it’s mission to promote the erosion of the Black family. From it’s earliest advertisers that hawked skin-bleaching creams to ‘beautifying’ wigs, ESSENCE has always known how to make Black women
feel uncomfortable in their skin. Like that ugly aunt that was jealous of her niece’s beauty, SUSAN L. TAYLOR has smiled all the while she told you why your man was a cheat(and lately, why you should as well).

ESSENCE intends to enforce a readership perspective of the victimized consumer. The magazine constantly peddles sensationalist stories about who shot Johnetta and how she can hide by buying yet another brand-name and brand-budget disguise, instead of educating her about how to protect and empower herself. Toward this end we will run a monthly review of every issue until the demise of this worthless cultural hustler is confirmed. I have attached a picture of the cover of one of the many issues featuring the Hip-Hop Queen of Victimization, MARY J.BLIGE. Please review the picture and note that the smallest byline on the cover is the one feature story that actually has some worth to the readers. It is almost an afterthought. Coincidence?!? I think not…

Black Women are getting pizzaid!

Sunday, April 3rd, 2005

pizzaid in full

Hold the presses! Black women with a college degree earn more money on average than white women?!?

You have to be really locked in to my conspiracy sensibilities to understand this dynamic. The census statistics have African American women outpacing their white counterparts by almost $5000 annually. The data said that the average income for all men was $63000 per year, which means that white men must be making nearly a million dollars apiece to keep that average so high. All the Black men that I know with degrees can’t afford to buy a pair of Air Jordans. I say this because I was on Franklin Avenue the other afternoon and I saw hundreds of Black men with no degrees and hundred dollar sneakers on. I think that those shoes were paid for by Black women. But I

This data conveys to me that salary is an effective punishment as well as a controlling tool when properly applied. Money(and credit, but mostly money) determines one’s ability to successfully navigate the capitalistic currents of our society. It determines where you live and more importantly how you live. It provides you with the ability to secure the items that are digital images simulcast via television, computer monitor and T-Mobile SideKick. I call this salary data a form of punishment because it makes it nearly impossible for a white woman to marry anyone other than a white man and still live in modest capitalistic comfort. The controlling tool aspect of the data is how many pairs of hundred dollar sneakers can be purchased for out of work Black men. Better still imagine how many pairs of JIMMY CHOO sandals these sisters can afford?

What the far-reaching ramifications of all this data are I am still not exactly sure of because I dropped out of City College in my fifth semester.