Archive for June, 2004

cRap Music Sucks Anus!

Tuesday, June 15th, 2004

My homegirl FENDI called me up with tickets for the 50th annual HOT 97 SUMMER JAM. This was a great chance for me to see some of rap music’s new megastars like CHINGY and the EASTSIDE BOYZ, and don’t let me forget to mention JADAKISS! Why am I not motivated?!? Something is telling me that rap music has greedily fed on itself to the point that is now almost irrelevant.

I get so worn down when I listen to the lyrics of the new artists in the music. The glory of pushing bricks has long faded for me. Being a drug dealer is a full time job and any hustler that I ever encountered that was more interested in being a rapper than in focusing on the career he had in his hand ended up being a dead hustler. Who out here is for the kids? Where is PUBLIC ENEMY or X-CLAN or GANGSTARR or PETE ROCK and C.L. SMOOTH? Where is O.D.B.???

Combine the current tragically fallacious lyrics with the media attention from outlets that had formerly held an N.U.D.(NON URBAN DIRECTIVE) until they saw how much money rap was generating. I get pissed off when an entertainment outlet like MTV releases programs like “the 20 greatest rappers of all time” and KOOL G RAP is not on the list… and TUPAC is number one! Call me a hater.

I also must be getting old because on sunday I didnt go to the 100th annual PUERTO RICAN DAY PARADE. Now I have to wait another year before I can sing that song, ‘GUANTANAMERA! GUAJIRA GUANTANAMERA!’ It’s just as well because that event lost its luster when the police changed their groping laws enforcement. If you cant pull a complete stranger’s halter top off… where is the joy? I have never dated a Puerto Rican woman but I did go out with a Guaynese girl, which is equal to about half a Haitian, which is 3/4 of a Dominican, which is just as good as any Puerto Rican.

PUFF DIDDY = King of all Jiggs

Wednesday, June 9th, 2004

DIDDY for president
The Council of Fashion Designers of America held their annual awards gala monday evening at the great New York Public Library on 42nd Street.

This years winner for ‘best menswear line’ was not some Euro fashion house or even that classic American designer, Ralph Lauren. I will give you a hint… this years’ winner was the one guy that Jennifer Lopez slept with that she didnt marry!?! You guessed it. the incomparable, near I say invincible, SEAN ‘PUFF DADDY – PUFFY – P DIDDY’ COMBS! Johnny Nunez had his camera for the CFDA after party. My favorite picture is the one with JANICE COMBS and DIDDY’s daddy, MILTON COMBS.

Just a year ago I accused the NEPTUNES production duo of signing a deal with the devil because of their presence on everything in the BillBoard Top 20. Lo and behold, it must have been DIDDY who signed that fateful contract, because he can apparently recreate himself into ANYTHING. In the last year I have seen DIDDY do everything else other than music. From running da’ band to running da’ NYC Marathon. From acting as a charming hustler in a Broadway play and then acting every bit the seasoned socialite at the Kentucky Derby. Even I have to admit that nobody works harder than this dude!

Not too long ago, PUFF was a backup dancer for FATHER MC(F.M.C. took his rap name literally. I have been told that he has more seeds than SHAWN KEMP. That would put him into double digits)

PUFF DADDY then became an all-star party promoter with JESSICA ROSENBLUM. They opened the RED ZONE club with a night called ‘Daddy’s House’. PUFF brought in a little known deejay from the Bronx that was actually CHUCK CHILLOUT’s protege. The dj’s name was FUNKMASTER FLEX. The real synergy between FLEX and PUFF would take place several years later at another westside club called TUNNEL.

In PUFF’s early years as a promoter he was an absolute dynamo and anything popping off with his name on the flyer would be hot to death. That was the case unfortunately for nine people who were trampled at the Nat Holman gynasium at City College New York. When Black folks step out to have a good time they dont care if they have to step on other Black folks to get to the party.

The truth is this… DIDDY, JESSICA and HEAVY DEE all co-promoted that event but PUFF was the only one who really took the full weight.

PUFFY’s story afterward that low point is pretty well documented from BAD BOY to B.I.G., from shiny suits to lawsuits, and through all the gunfire he still remains the premiere party promoter. Which brings me to my last thought of the day…

How sick would a VOTER REGISTRATION party be if it were hosted by DIDDY and DON KING?!?

Keep in mind that the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION will be in NYC this August.

I am getting my seersucker suit drycleaned just in case…