Archive for April, 2004

Leave no child behind…

Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

the natural
Some NYC 3rd graders are going thru some real changes these past few weeks. They have been studying hard for the new standardized tests that the Bored of Education is implementing. If these young students dont receive a mean score of 70 percent they will be held back to repeat the 3rd grade again.

now I don’t agree with social promotion, because it really doesnt work. There are way too many folks running around without learning some of the minimal tools that help to process info correctly. I don’t blame the teachers either because NO ONE can teach a class of 35 of today’s crackhead A.D.D. third graders. But the Bored of Education has outdone itself with this current standardized exam. My only logical rationale is that the Chancellor’s aim is to disenchant these youngsters by holding them back thereby cementing another generation of under-acheiving, under-believing kids.

Ma Dukes is a veteran teacher in the system and she let me see a copy of the exam. I copied a few questions. If you are a real education gangsta, reply to me with the answers!

1. Pizza, not a common dish in America before the 1950s, is now a ——– presence in cities everywhere.

(A) ubiquitous
(B) rarified
(C) convalescent
(D) transient
(E) denigrated

2. A boy is 4 years old and his sister is three times as old as he is. When the boy is 12 years old, how old will his sister be?

(A) 16
(B) 20
(C) 24
(D) 28
(E) 32

3. If you rearrange the letters “ANLDEGN,” you would have the name of a(n):

(A) Ocean
(B) Country
(C) State
(D) City
(E) Animal

4. Two girls caught 25 frogs. Lisa caught four times as many as Jen did. How many frogs did Jen catch?

(A) 4
(B) 5
(C) 8
(D) 10
(E) 15

I’m no genius, but there are three words that come to my mind that I’d like to spell for these 3rd graders…

Y – O – U – – A – R – E – – F – U – C – K – E – D ! ! !

OPRAH’s on the D.L.

Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

My brownskin baby momma OPRAH is on the down low. O is attempting to blame the spike in H.I.V. infected African American women on Black men that live a double life “ON THE DOWN LOW“. This is the puported phenomena that is titilating mainstream America by sayng that there is an overabundance of Black men that are homo-sexual and bi-sexual. These brothers have wives, but have sex with men, and still consider themselves straight.

Can I say this…
Black men are closeted somewhat similarly to their white counterparts but there is no abundance in Black homo-sexuality. In fact I will dare say that Black men that are gay are as flamboyant and prideful as any Puerto Rican(the MOST flamboyant and prideful of all gay males). White males have a greater stake to lose if their sexuality deviates from their communities norms. While the Black community will always forgive it’s societal outcasts quicker than the white community will forgive theirs. RONALD REAGAN 2nd has been spotted in a supermarket in Compton ringing up groceries for a living. His trust fund paper forsaken.

Let’s get really real here!
The recent spike in HIV among hetero-sexual African American females has been due to the use of TROJAN brand condoms with all that NONOXYDOL-9 spermicidal crap sprayed on them. White women are using the ORTHO-TRICYCLEN birth control pill and having totally unprotected sex(someone told me). The TRICYCLEN pill also clears up their acne too(so I’ve heard)

My ‘HARLEM CLUB’ aspirations

Wednesday, April 28th, 2004

YAAAAAAAAY! I just got my approval letter from CitiBank for the re-financing of my mortgage!

Before I consolidate my credit card bills I will be taking $5000 and plunking it down on my executive membership to the ‘HARLEM CLUB’. Some of you may have read about this business recently in the New York Times. ‘HARLEM CLUB’ is the brainchild of Mr. Thomas Lopez-Pierre, who although he is married, felt that there were no outlets for professional African American men to network with one another and also enter the dating pool with ‘suitable’ mates. Mr. Lopez-Pierre felt that there wasn’t a sufficient screening process that seperated the truly undesirables. Rap stars, Hollywood glitterati and professional athletes – what Mr. Lopez-Pierre labels the “ghetto-fabulous crowd” – would not be welcome.

Women can join the Harlem Club, too. But only as ‘associate’ members. And they have to be 35 or younger, unmarried, childless, college educated and willing to submit a head-to-toe photograph, to prevent unattractive AND overweight women from making the cut.

And to ensure that there will be a steady stream of fresh young shorties in the club, Mr. Lopez-Pierre plans to rotate 50 percent of the female members, who pay no dues, every three months. The goal, as he said, is to present members with undeniable marriage material.

“When people think of the Harlem Club, I want them to think beautiful, intelligent, highly successful women of color,” said Mr. Lopez-Pierre. I will tell him that he also has to include some Asian shorties too. Yellow, Red and Brown chicks are ‘WOMEN of COLOR’ in my book?!?!