Archive for January, 2008

The Real War On Women Continues…

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

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And all I got was this lousy t-shirt!

The Black blogosphere a/k/a Jigs In Space have been thrashing about recently all because the gossip site BOSSIP gave a ‘Ho Sit Down’ to MAYA ANGELOU. I love me some MAYA ANGELOU, but she can get a ‘Ho Sit Down’ just like OPRAH can and even [gasp] RUBY DEE. Everyone can get it if they get caught slipping. This is the law of los internetos.

They should have never gave you niggers computers. What About Our Daughters has found their next Jena 6 moment by waging an all out war against BOSSIP. It was going to come to this eventually since What About Our Daughters is on some sensitive lesbian shit most times. I just thank GOD they haven’t targeted me for my disparaging drops on ALICIA KEYS.

So while people are still caught up with the war of words and phrases the real war on women rages onward unobstructed. Has anyone other than Dart Adams heard about the story of this teenager AMBER ABREU (no BOBBY)?

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AMBER ABREU – Arrested for inducing self-abortion
AMBER was questioned by Department of Social Services investigators who learned that she ingested some ulcer medication to induce a miscarriage. What happened instead is that she ended up delivering her baby stillborn. The government is looking at charging her with homicide now and not just the crazy crime of inducing an illegal miscarriage. I suppose there is a way to induce a legal miscarriage, but that requires a plane ticket to Europe or some shit.

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Too bad for AMBER that her mother was an immigrante and not JAMIE-LYNN SPEARS’ mother LYNN. The pop princesses mom has agreed to raise JAMIE-LYNN’s child so that JAMIE-LYNN might return to Hollywood to pursue her career as the wigbrusher to her elder sister BRITNEY’s trainwreckery.

The moral to this story is that woman STILL do not have the information or advocacy when it comes to their reproductive rights. The story of AMBER ABREU is more proof that my wife and I will be using a midwife when she gives birth to our kids. Hospitals are fucked the fuck up as it is without those fools switching babies and trying to get people to submit to RFID implants under their newborn’s skin.

So you think that a woman president is going to stem the tide of America’s anti-matriarchal legacy when her operatives are busy using racist undercurrents to curry support? Sounds to me like you need to wear the ‘Ho Sit Down’ trucker hat.

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The Upcoming Rapper Recession…

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

know the ledge

It’s BXS list time again bitches.

Good news party people, Roc—A-Fella Records was just playing possum. They about to release a compilation with the greatest hits you never heard from Memphis Bleek, Amil and Christion. Fire bitches, straight fire.

Someone on one of these threads coined the phrase ‘Rapper Recesssion’. I thought that was pretty astute coming from the pool of degenerates that typically hangs out here at XXLmag dot com. The statement might be truer than most of us want to believe too. If the United States economy has a significant downturn like all the financial smartypants people are projecting then you can definitely kiss that Only Built For Cuban Links 2 album to the wind. No one is going to want to take a chance on some old rappers looking to relive their glory days.

How many of you went to see that movie called the ‘Bucket List’? My point, exactly.

So if dark days are ahead for the U.S. economy what the hell will some of these rappers do to make ends meet? Please don’t say sell drugs. The only hustling that most of these rappers really know about is the kind where a man sells his ass to another man.

True story.

What did your boy Rick Ross say? “Every day I’m hustling”?!? Extra [ll] to that song and everyone who rhymed on the remix from now on. So aside from becoming a prostitute which I am sure that some rappers will fall into head over heels[ll], I thought we could take a look at some of the professions where rappers might find the transition a little easier into something that keeps them lockstep with their lyrics.

Grocery store checkout clerk – Not the dude on the register, since most rappers suck with handling money, but the cat that asks “paper or plastic”. How many times have rappers talked about their brown paper bags? Plus it’s almost like asking someone whether they want the red top or the blue top.

Sanitation department crewmember – This should keep rappers busy as they put all that crunk snap crap that has been filling the airwaves for the last several years in a garbage truck.

Laundry room attendant – Fools always talking about how they work with pounds so lets see them clean a few pounds of stanky drawls.

Military service – How many times have you hears rappers talk about busting gats and shit? Too many to count. It’s time to make all these shooters show and prove. Send these fucks to Iraq or Afghanistan and tell them to keep it gansgta with some a-rabs that live in caves and haven’t showered in years. Dudes will come back stateside rhyming like the Fresh Prince instead of Frank White.

English teacher – KanYe West was invited to some college to give a commencement speech or some shit. The irony is that the college dropout is caking up way more than 99.99% of the fools with degrees. Soulja Boy and Lil’ Wang both dropped out of grade school, so maybe they could give back to the community by returning to school to become English teachers. Real schools might be too strict with their accreditation requirements so instead these fools could teach one of those English as second language classes that all the immigrantes go to.

One way or the other rappers better get their Plan B’s popping, and I’m not even talking about the abortion pills.

OH WORD Presents HOT JETHRO MESS…

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

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One of the reasons that I appreciate OhWord dot com is because of their tireless effort to identify trends on these internets. We all know what a Hot Ghetto Mess means to the people that live within the urban boundaries, but what about the folks that live in the trailer parks and the Ozarks? What would you call their need for individualistic self-expression that somehow misses the mark of sensibility. The good people from the R & D department at OhWord call this…

JETHRO FABULOUS

Let’s take a look at some photo samples of Jethro Fabulousness from a recent Kid Rock concert in the Appalachian region of Ohio.

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Families that smoke crystal meth together stay together.

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Sure, this dude is gangsta with his tiparillo, but peep grandma in the background.

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Mom disappeared for a half an hour, but then she returned with sweatshirts. Thanks Uncle Roadie.

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Don’t worry little Jenna, as soon as you turn 18 mom will chip in and help you buy your new boobs.

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Yes, that is a du-rag, and yes, he is trying to get waves.

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Stop being racist internets, even Black folks can get Jethro Fabulous.

Pick out your own favorite Hot Jethro Mess from the Kid Rock concert slideshow pics.

POLITRICKS 2008: Goodbye, And Good Riddance…

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

9iu11ani

Some people will tell you that RUDY 9IU11ANI’s resignation from the presidential campaign trail is a win for the terrorists.

They would be wrong though.

Still and all I kept a photo gallery of images to use whenever RUDY made some noise. I’m a little saddened now that ol’ boy couldn’t even ride out 9-11 up until Super Tuesday.

Oh well, I guess this leaves RUDY more time to hang out with BERNARD KERIK. [ll], of course.

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BO-DEY-GAHHHH!

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

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A little over a year ago CASIMIR, RAFI and I put together a film based on the food choices that people from the “poorest urban county in America” make on the daily. We started filming this movie in the South Bronx neighborhood called Hunts Point. When I tell you about a residential neighborhood that is fucked the fuck up… There isn’t a supermarket chain or even a commercial bank in the area. There is a detention center in the ‘hood though, the infamous Spofford Youth Center.

Folks here in Hunts point are on the way down and not up, and the services that the community receives reflect as much. This is how the city views this community socially, politically and economically. This isn’t how we saw the neighborhood though and when you put aside the humor that we placed into the Bodega video you should see the point of equal access. The people of the South Bronx and ALL of New York City must have access to healthy and nutritional foods. In this city of millions of people where billions of dollars are generated on the regulack there must be some equity for our most marginalized residents. Only then will NYC be the greatest city on Earth.


NEW JERZ! PUT YOUR QUARTER WATERS IN THE SKY!

‘Bodega’ will be featured this weekend at the Black Maria Film Festival starting on Friday night. Come out and politic with the i.C.’s as we kick off the BMFF’s 2008 season.

CHEA!

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