Archive for April, 2009

Hungkheys Been Pwn’t This Rap Shit…

Thursday, April 30th, 2009


You rapfagns need to act like you know who owns this rap shit. Black rappers have borrowed rap for the better part of three decades and now it is time to give that shit back to the people who have owned it from fucking day one.

Think of rap as a leased car that you can drive fast or slow. You can put bitches in the whip or coke by the bricks. No matter what you decide to fill the car up with you still gotta return that shit to the leaseholder and you still gonna owe some money for the wear and tear no matter how clean you kept your shit.

The only thing that Black rappers ever owned was the pots and pans that they would beat up on the sidewalk. As soon as they went to have their voices recorded they no longer had any ownership and Hip-Hop then became known as rap music. Mainly because that was the most expeditious way for the owners to monetize their shit.

When I was old and stupid and I first came to this website I thought that people of color and poor white folks that resided in the center city were the owners of rap, and the cultural movement of Hip-Hop in general. I was old and delusional then. My mind was geared to thinking in a linear direction without the perspective of three dimensions.

People of color don’t own shit in America. They don’t even own the epithets that people use to describe them. It’s time for Eminem and Asher Roth to make a collabo track called ‘Fuck These Niggers!’ Some of y’all will be mad at first, but that song will be epic as hell. When I heard the lyrics the first thing I thought was, “at least these dudes ain’t talking about me.” Ha. They was talking about them OTHER niggers. Over there.

The song talked about the fact that niggers be bragging about their Glocks and their Heckler & Kochs when none of these niggers last names is that (word to Danny Hoch). From Maybachs to Maseratis to exalting everything that exists outside of the ‘hood and merc’king everything that exists IN the ‘hood these rapping niggers that Em and Asher are shitting on are the very dudes that we have been lionizing for the last few decades.

On the track Eminem and Asher remind their fans that from day one the engineers, label owners, distributors were all “hungkheys” that let the “mungkheys” play around in the jungle just to get their kicks (literally and figuratively). It’s hard to argue with these dudes too since we all know that Rick Rubin was the mastermind behind Def Jam and Russell Simmons was simply his liasion to singing and rapping Blacks. Like a consigliere or to keep up with the car metaphor, his chauffeur.

I can hear that song in my mind now. Black folks get ethered once and for all for having the perception that they ever owned anything to do with rap music. When the strings were pulled they bounced around like marionettes to the rhythm. The Blacks slapped at each other on cue. We all laughed at the spectacle. It was far more entertaining than dogfighting. Plus dogfighting is illegal.

Whites been done pwned this rap shit. This is why you need not feel some kind of way about white rappers. The chickens are coming home to roost. And the mungkheys will have to play somewhere else.

Game Rebellion 2NITE!!!!

Thursday, April 30th, 2009


Just in case you didn’t hear me before…



204 Varick Street


Game Rebellion ‘Til The Death…

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009


^ Respect the architects. Death from Detroit.

DEATH – ‘Politicians In My Eyes’

In the long storied history of rock music’s rebel musicians I put Game Rebellion at the top of my list. Not so much for the work they have already done but mire for their potential to change the urban music soundscape. They have all the talent of a Bad Brains and all the good looks of a Boyz 2 Men. If they were white they would be the pop music perfect storm combining teen angst with socio-politically conscious lyrics. The band also has that pop music prerequisite which is called sex appeal.

Game Rebellion has been on their grind for a minute and I try to encourage them by reminding them it takes ten years to become an overniight success in the music industry, unless, of course, you are Asher Roth, but despite all of that I stll have high hopes for the band. What are you doing tomorrow night? Why don’t you come down to S.O.B.’s and hang out with me and watch Game Rebellion do their thing?

Thursday 04.30.09

plus special guests

204 Varick Street (@ West Houston Street)
#1 train to Houston Street

$10 on the Game Rebellion guest list

Coke + Rap = cRap Music…

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009


Pushers >>> hustlers

I swiped the above pic from the homey Combat Jack’s weblog. It was convenient and therefore I didn’t have to waste any more time going through Google images for another pic of the Clipse.

Rap music is so shitty right now that people will use anything as a promotional push. Say “nappy headed hos” on Twitter after a concert at Rutgers University? Promo. Manager receives federal indictment for narcotics trafficking?!? Promo.

But who is receiving the information about these incidences and thinking more about these artists? Not I. Is it you Pierzy? Shouts to Pierzy just because [ll]. I mean, who here thinks that the Clipse manager’s drugpushing charges will translate into rap fans going into Best Buy and copping their next CD? Especially if that shit has those tinkly Neptune tracks all over the disk.

People don’t buy Clipse albums, they download them. It’s a fucking rite of passage. You can’t call yourself a rap fan if you don’t have some illegally downloaded Clipse music on your hard drive. I don’t blame you either. If the Clipse want to espouse the outlaw lifestyle then they should expect to attract outlaw type fans. Not the type of folks that will cook cocaine, although I’m sure there are some real cocaine cookers that LOVVVVVVVVE the Clipse, but the type of folks that say, “why should I buy their album since these dudes are already rich?”

That is the single-edged sword of being the best trap rappers on records. The Clipse claim to be too deep in the drug game to even need to rap meanwhile they are going on tour while riding the Peter Pan bus. Not their own tour bus, the Port Authority Peter Pan bus. The Fung Hwah joint that has seats for twenty bucks and a bathroom that smells as if a homeless person died inside of it. I mean, think about this shit seriously, if you were caking off cocaine why the hell would you start rapping? To take a pay cut?

You think that rappers make more money than pushers? In the long run I suppose it’s all even. The lawyers end up with the grip and the IRS puts the hammer down as the final insult to injury. If you were getting money moving heavy weight you would be mad as hell at the way the rap game works. The artists pick up the tab for everything. Your royalties get taxed for the promotional expenses and everything gets itemized to your ticket. That bottle of water you drank in the label offices comes out of your budget.

I still don’t believe that the Clipse manager was the dude going in so hard with the work. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if their touring and clothing ventures were underwritten by someone with illegal paper. Let’s face it, anyone with legit money that knows what the fuck is the deal isn’t going to be investing their shit in the zero sum gain that the Clipse present. Breaking even is worse than breaking bad in today’s economy.

All of that to say that I wish no malice towards the Clipse other than, well, you know, Malice. I hope the Clipse new album is a banger from top to bottom. Plus, I just copped a new 1TB hard drive so I will plenty of room for the DL.

I’m Obsessed…

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009


The latest cinematic vehicle strarring BeYONCE KNOWLES-CARTER smells like a pile of sexy shit sitting on the sidewalk. True story is that even BeYONCE’s ham-fisted performance wasn’t as bad as IDRIS ELBA’s look. IDRIS and BeYONCE are throwback actors because they perform like we are still making silent movies. Maybe its because the both of them would be better off in music videos where the dialogue isn’t spoken by them, but rather sung through auto-tune.

Still and all I sat through the two hours of this half-baked thriller that didn’t have any idea what it wanted to be when it grew up. We knew at some point that the sassy blonde played by ‘Heroes’ heroine ALI LARTER would have to lock horns with the sassier auburn wigged BeYONCE. At least they didn’t disappoint us in that regard. As an aside, don’t look now fellas, but ALI LARTER is being typecast as the white chick who likes Black sticks. You might could win is all I’m saying.

‘Obsessed’ would have been a better film with better writing and better actors. See some shit like ‘Inside Man’ for the sexy interracial tension that DENZEL WASHINGTON and JODIE FOSTER create. JODIE FOSTER’s old ass >>> ALI LARTER too for that matter. How crazy is it that I delivered the best line of the whole movie after BeYONCE finally defeats the psycho home wrecker by literally wrecking her new house? As the ALI LARTER character lay dead and the camera flashed to a worn and bruised BeYONCE I decided to yell out in the theatre, “she’s a survivor!”

Poor scripting and even worse acting now makes for a box office success.

The lowest common denominator rules the world.